Guiding Teenagers Search

This series is designed (but not necessary) to be read chronologically; if you have already read this post, or are looking for something specific in the series, below are links to the other 5 articles in the 6-part series! What Kind R U? Parenting Series: PART I The Big UNcubed Parenting Series: PART II The Great PRO³ - Parenting Series: PART III What THE? - Parenting Series: PART IV HA! HA! HA! - Parenting Series: PART V UNderstand PROblems THEy HAve - Parenting Series: PART VI PART I - Parental Classifications One of the most asked questions asked by parents, especially new parents, is, "Am I doing this right?!" as they sit there lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep while their mind races from thought to thought and how well their child is doing in life. I'm here to tell you, you will never achieve perfection, but as long as they have a good sense of morals and decision-making, they are unique in their personality, and they follow their passions and dreams, they will be just fine in life. In this mini-series, we will explore the four main types of parenting, the pros and cons, along with tips and tricks. So--- What Kind R U? Here are the four primary classifications: 1. Neglectful Parenting It may sound rough, saying you could be a "neglectful" person- especially regarding your child- but it doesn't mean you don't love and care for them. The primary characteristics include the following: Absent, uninvolved, and freedom-giving Guidance and emotional support are rare Indifferent to the nourishing of their social, behavioral, and emotional life Basic needs are the parent's primary role (food, shelter, clothing) 2. Permissive Parenting This style has become more popular recently with the assistance of social media and various human rights movements, concentrating on their child's needs in excess. Characteristics of a permissive parent include: Parent/child relationship is primarily child-driven (Over)indulges their child with rewards to dodge conflicts There are very few rules; they are very inconstantly enforced or not enforced at all Parents are very nourishing to their children but find it challenging to impose limitations and boundaries 3. Authoritarian Parenting Although firm and rigid, this type of parenting is still fairly popular for many reasons, including how the parent was raised, culture, religion, and nationality. In recent years, however, this style has declined as more parents find permissive parenting a compelling choice. A few traits of an authoritarian parent are: Parent/child relationship is primarily parent-driven Very rigid and strict household rules that set very harsh punishments Indifferent to the nourishing of their social and emotional life Communication is typically one-way from parent to child 4. Authoritative Parenting Authoritative parenting has been best described as a happy medium between the permissive and authoritarian styles, pulling from the best of both worlds. Parents strive for this most popular type, even if they fall short and land in another category. Some of the key points are: Parents are responsive, supportive, and nurturing Sets firm rules set in the home; parents are willing to listen and reason but don't necessarily always accept what the child has to say Uses open communication and natural consequences for wrongdoings Attempt to mold their child's growth and behavior by taking an interest and explaining, discussing, and reasoning with them as they do good and bad Is there a right or wrong answer? By no means is there a correct answer; this is only a list compiled by many psychologists and colleges worldwide. I will be the first to tell you I have found myself falling short of what class I WANT to be in compared to what category I AM in. However, MY style is not, nor should it be, any of those particular structured styles. That is what makes me an individual and a one-of-a-kind parent. Perfect? Far from it. Comfortable in my skin? Indeed, and very proud to be. In Conclusion Every one of those four parenting styles has its own set of pros and set cons too. Yes, some are better than others, but I can assure you not one of them is wrong; much of it comes down to your own beliefs, upbringing, religion, ethnicity, nationality, and many other circumstances unique to you. So the question becomes, What Kind R U? In the next part of this mini-series, we will dive into neglectful parenting. Continue Reading: PART II - The Big UNcubed Parenting advice: Raise them without being absent Love it? Share it! (links to share below) Make sure they know where it came from #curlystacheblogs 👌 Take me back to more blog articles! ✒️ Take me home 🏠 Back to the top ⬆️

This series is designed (but not necessary) to be read chronologically; if you still need to read Parts I-V, the links below will take you to the previous articles to catch up! What Kind R U? Parenting Series: PART I The Big UNcubed Parenting Series: PART II The Great PRO³ - Parenting Series: PART III What THE? - Parenting Series: PART IV HA! HA! HA! - Parenting Series: PART V UNderstand PROblems THEy HAve - Parenting Series: PART VI What UNderstand PROblems THEy HAve actually means To conclude this mini-series of parenting characteristics, I leave you with the final step after you find your parenting method or combination of methods. These four styles were covered in the previous articles: > neglectful parenting scheme via UN(cubed) > permissive parenting tactics of (the great)PRO³ > (what)THE authoritarian parenting methods > the authoritative parenting, seriously, HA!(HA!HA!) Once you find what works best for you, you can move on to the final step by merging the strange capital letters in this series to get the phrase UNderstand PROblems THEy HAve. This is the only thing you can do now that you are set in your ways, trying to be the best parent possible. R U doing it right? Even if you still lay in bed, asking yourself that age-old question, "Am I doing this right?" You can rest assured that you are doing it precisely how it needs to be done. There is no right or wrong way, as stated many times throughout this mini-series; there is only your unique way. You are probably on the right track if you can check off these boxes: You sincerely love your child and would do anything to protect them from harm However you parent, your goal is to make sure they succeed as an adult If your child is helpless and dependent on you (i.e., toddler, handicapped, etc.), you do not turn your back on them and ensure they are well off If and when your child is independent (vs. entirely dependent) to some degree and cannot accomplish something essential due to age, ability, knowledge, or responsibility, you will ensure it becomes accomplishable, or you perform it for them. A set of solid morals is instilled in them, even if they are not necessarily the same as someone else's. However, if you cannot tick off all five boxes, I strongly recommend taking a firm and honest step back to reevaluate your position and what you can do differently to ensure all checkboxes are marked. After those checkboxes are all checked, it is not voila! Magic! Perfect relationships and families. It only means that you are on the right track as a parent, and then you can focus on your child in a new light. With the clarity of being a good parent, you can see if they are having any problems or issues in their personal, school, or social life away from you. Sometimes your child may even ask you for your advice with a problem that they are having; after all, everybody has issues from time to time. What comes next? Sincerely ask yourself if you genuinely UNderstand PROblems THEy HAve. Sometimes as parents, we can dismiss issues our children are going through. We sit there thinking, "Been there, done that. It's not a huge issue; it will pass." or "Believe me, it feels like the end of the world, but it's not." We do this because we went through some of those same animosities when we were younger, and we tend to forget how we felt in the heat of that moment. Telling our children something along those lines may prove unwise, even if it is accurate and we know what we are talking about from experience. However, we must remember they have not "Been there, done that" This is (for the most part) all new as they age and mature, and in some cases, it may feel like their life is crumbling all around them. That said, it's time to sit down and UNderstand PROblems THEy HAve. Remember, most children or teens do not have the extensive complex relationships that adults have. On average, they have a best friend, a group of friends (or both), family life, a job, or helping out a neighbor type of job. Most major social interactions and cues are learned from school. These same social interactions are also why most of our children's "catastrophic problems" can be traced back to school somehow, even if it is just because they met them there. Felt Like & Feels Like Most adults will agree after they taste adulthood for some time, "High school is much easier." This mentality is another reason brushing off problems our children tell us is easier. However, to accurately UNderstand PROblems THEy HAve, we need to take a step back and sincerely try to remember what it felt like when we were that age and what it would feel like if we were in those shoes again, as though we were our children. Remember that school, a job (if old enough), and family are generally all they know; if one falls somehow, a good chunk of their world crumbles. In Conclusion We must first and foremost ensure we are parenting our children in our unique ways. Then, once we are parenting in our styles, set in our convictions, we can concentrate on diving deeper into our children's complexities in trying to UNderstand PROblems THEy HAve. In our next mini-series later this month, we will look into more detail regarding teenagers' social, emotional, and mental intricacies and how we can tune into them. Catch up on the series: PART I - What kind R U? Parenting advice: Raise them without being overbearing, absent, or avoiding conflict PART II - The Big UNcubed Parenting advice: Raise them without being absent PART III - The Great PRO³ Parenting advice: Raise them without avoiding conflict PART IV - What THE? Parenting advice: Raise them without being overbearing PART V - HA! HA! HA! Parenting advice: Raise them with balance Love it? Share it! (links to share below) Make sure they know where it came from #curlystacheblogs 👌 Take me back to more blog articles! ✒️ Take me home 🏠 Back to the top ⬆️

This series is designed (but not necessary) to be read chronologically; if you need to catch up or skip ahead, the links below will take you to where you need to go! What Kind R U? Parenting Series: PART I The Big UNcubed Parenting Series: PART II The Great PRO³ - Parenting Series: PART III What THE? - Parenting Series: PART IV HA! HA! HA! - Parenting Series: PART V UNderstand PROblems THEy HAve - Parenting Series: PART VI We began a few days ago with this new mini-series, "What Kind R U? Parenting advice: Raise them without being overbearing, absent, or avoiding conflict" Today, we will continue specifically covering the parental classification of neglectful parenting, also known as uninvolved parenting. As stated in the previous article, it certainly may sound rough, saying you could be a "neglectful" person- especially regarding your child. In "Part II - UNcubed," we will dive deeper into what that means. Remember, if you find yourself fitting the bill of an uninvolved parent, it DOES NOT mean you don't love and care for them. To briefly review the characteristics as described in Part I: Absent, uninvolved, and freedom-giving Guidance and emotional support are rare Indifferent to the nourishing of their social, behavioral, and emotional life Basic needs are the parent's primary role (food, shelter, clothing) Jump to a section: >>> The big UNcubed >>> UNinvolved & UNaware... to OUTsiders >>> UNinvolved & UNaware... to INsiders >>> UNinvolved & UNcaring >>> Conclusion The big UNcubed There are three significant subcategories within this parenting style, which I call UNCUBED. Families with parents who are (what psychologists and professionals deem) "neglectful towards their children" are typically broken up into three groups: the UNaware (OUT), the UNaware (IN), and the UNcaring. UNinvolved & UNaware... to OUTsiders The first is UNaware (OUT): UNaware to OUTsiders. It is better known as parenting by letting your child fall and making them get back up. The parent loves, cherishes, adores, and cares for their children- however, it often does not manifest as something visual to individuals outside the family and friends. In this situation, the child(ren) and parent(s) have a bond as strong as steel, and they know they would give the shirts off their back for one other. This category is unique because, within the family, everybody is close and sturdy as a rock, a whole family. To an outsider looking in visually, they would never observe these traits. Conversely, within the family and inner circle, the family structure has a different perspective: Always present: Check-ins, daily or weekly, etc., to ensure there are no critical issues and space is given to the child or teen. It is not that they are uninvolved; instead, the parent is not as visually present in ways other families may be. Open communication: There may not be much verbal talking, but there is a clear understanding that "when you need me, I'll always be there," but I want you to learn independently. Guidance without training wheels: I'll be the parent overseeing you from a distance and let you learn from your own mistakes. Self-learning: The child has age-appropriate responsibilities and has to learn how to manage all of their obligations rather than relying on someone to tell them what to do and when to do it. UNinvolved & UNaware... to INsiders The next is where core parenting methods are missing without the parent even realizing it. This type of parenting is "UNaware to INsiders" because not only does it appear as though the parent is absent to individuals outside of the family, but here, family members inside the home feel it too. The parent or parents with this trait love, care, and would die for their own, much like with the "UNaware to OUTsiders," but the main difference is their child(ren) doesn't feel their parents would do that for them. It sounds rough, but the flip side is that the parents believe in their hearts that they are doing good. Usually, the parents will feel that they are giving their child abundant love. An example of this mindset is when the parent gets home from work. The parent will tell the child to play, thinking that's what a good, fun parent would do. In reality, the parent, even if subconsciously, wants downtime from work and doesn't want to tend to household duties. So in this hypothetical example, the average day for a mother to her young 4th-grade son could be: They wake up in the morning, the mom gets him breakfast and ready for school (food, clothing). After school and work, they make it back home, and Mom tells him to play and have fun until dinner, thinking that he would love to play and not do chores so she could relax for a few before cooking dinner. Then comes dinner (food), followed by getting him ready for bed (clothing) and, of course, keeping the roof over their heads (shelter). At the end of the day, mom believes she did an excellent job because she loves and adores her child, and she believes her son loves her just as much in return (and he probably does). The problem is she unwittingly only provided the three essential needs for all humans, neglecting what children and teenagers need the most: emotional support, guidance, and structure. Here are a few examples of the "UNinvolved & UNaware... to INsiders" parental classification: Distant parenting: The parent can primarily only be counted on in times of crisis and needs (not wants). Bare minimum requirements: (food, shelter, clothing) are met exceptionally well, with a sense of pride in doing them. Fun parent: Lack of as many responsibilities, plenty of play time (children), or freedom (teens) as long as it doesn't interfere with food, shelter, or clothing. Unpredictable Children: The child raises themself; thus, their social skills and emotions can become slightly more inconsistent than those raised in structured homes. UNinvolved & UNcaring Of all of the categories in this mini-series, this type of parenting screams toxic. Suppose you find yourself falling into this category. In that case, I suggest sitting down and reevaluating everything regarding being a mom or a dad and making an honest attempt to try changing for your child's sake. This subcategory is just what it sounds like. The parent is uninvolved in all aspects of life and puts other wants, needs, and obligations before their child. Luckily this type of parenting is far between, and when a parent does fall into this category, they will ensure they meet just enough for the child to continue to live (food, clothing, shelter), but not much more. Generally, when this sort of behavior becomes observed, it is because one or more of these are taking precedence over the child or teen: Selfishness: Work, significant others, friends, or hobbies become more important than their children. Mental Health: There is an underlying condition not treated, causing erratic decision-making regarding family. Drug/Alcohol abuse: Addiction to [whatever] has become more significant than the love, compassion, and responsibility for their child. "Accident" or "I don't like kids": Parents who never wanted a baby but do not believe in abortions, or if no moral obligations, did not give it away or abort it; instead, they just "dealt" with it, wanting nothing to do with the child on any level (emotional or physical). In Conclusion Depending on your outlook, there are issues with all three of these subcategories, especially "UNinvolved & UNcaring" whereas "UNinvoled & UNaware... to outsiders" appears pretty structured but hidden from view. The one thing to remember about all three of these, and what makes it why there is never a right way or wrong way to raise a child: Children were all brought up under one of those umbrellas of parenting, so it does seem (more) normal to them than perhaps someone else. They probably feel loved and cared for in their own way, even if it isn't the way you believe. All we can do as a parent is to try our best and guarantee our children that they are getting the absolute best from us, we are not perfect, but we strive to be because they are worth it. Continue Reading: PART III - The Great PRO³ Parenting advice: Raise them without avoiding conflict Catch up on the series: PART I - What kind R U? Parenting advice: Raise them without being overbearing, absent, or avoiding conflict Love it? Share it! (links to share below) Make sure they know where it came from #curlystacheblogs 👌 Take me back to more blog articles! ✒️ Take me home 🏠 Back to the top ⬆️

This series is designed (but not necessary) to be read chronologically; if you need to catch up or skip ahead, the links below will take you to where you need to go! What Kind R U? Parenting Series: PART I The Big UNcubed Parenting Series: PART II The Great PRO³ - Parenting Series: PART III What THE? - Parenting Series: PART IV HA! HA! HA! - Parenting Series: PART V UNderstand PROblems THEy HAve - Parenting Series: PART VI We conclude the four parenting styles today with the most sought-after style. This parenting technique is proven highly effective and rewarding for both parent and child. Authoritative parenting is the final type and is also known as "democratic parenting" because of the elegant degree of reasoning from the parent encompassing the give-and-take style. Some of the primary characteristics of this give-and-take practical parenting, as discussed in the first part of the series, include: Responsive, supportive, and nurturing parenting Firm rules are set in the home; when rules are broken, parents will listen and reason with the child but don't always accept what the child has to say Two-way communication and natural consequences for wrongdoings Attempt to mold their child's growth and behavior by taking an interest and explaining, discussing, and reasoning with them as they do good and bad Jump to a section: >>> HA! HA! HA! >>> The HAck >>> HAlfway >>> HAndprint to HAndshake >>> Conclusion HA! HA! HA! Sincerely, there's nothing funny about it! Although I promise you we can divide authoritative parenting into three subsections- or "HA"s to break it down nicely. Our play on laughter includes: "The HAck," "HAlfway," and "HAndprint to HAndshake" - read on! The HAck As described already, there is a give-and-take vibe in authoritative families. That HAck allows for smoother sailing and less stress in parent-child relationships. For instance, instead of having nonexistent standards found in neglectful parenting- or mom and dad paving the way in difficult times as seen in permissive parenting, authoritative parenting parallels closely with authoritarian parenting. Both types have solid principles and expect greatness; the mindset is "If you are going to do something, then do it right the first time." The difference between the "my way or the highway" mentality, the backbone of authoritarian parenting, and the democratic style of authoritative parenting is the HAck. When a child stumbles and makes a mistake, which they inevitably will, just like all learning children do from time to time, mom or dad will pause, listen, and give their child a chance to explain themselves. It is important to stress that the parent will not just hear the child out; instead, the parent will sit with their full attention on them, focused, and genuinely listen to them. Furthermore, after listening and discussing the situation with the child, the consequence could be negated if they provide a valid reason or explanation. That HAck of listening and allowing the child to explain permits them to feel comfortable knowing they can always talk to you. In their eyes, they see that you heard them out rather than ignored them, especially when a rule was broken (even if justified in the end). By invoking that HAck, many more items of positivity can come with it, including: Self-esteem boost Learning to argue and disagree appropriately, with respect Showing that you care about their perspective, which offers a vulnerability that you are just as human as they are Accepting winning and losing with dignity and maturely Conversely, there are many more times when the child misbehaves or breaks a rule, and they explain themselves, but it still does not change the outcome (consequence). Of course, as an authoritative parent, you will listen to your child's explanation and reasoning; this could even allow less severe consequences since the child possibly provided valid points or their intent on the issue. But nevertheless, and more importantly, you will explain why the punishment will stand, which will inherently make it a natural punishment rather than something out of spite and rashness- and the child will respect that much more in the end. HAlfway As you can imagine, based on the HAck alone, authoritative parents try meeting their children HAlfway rather than having the mentality of "all or nothing" as found in the other three parenting styles. Based on past quarrels, the child will know you are trying to meet them HAlfway. Because of that, they will want to try and do the same in meeting you HAlfway. It can even mean accepting the punishment for their misdoings (their HAlfway point) once you hear them out, genuinely listen, and explain why the punishment stands (your HAlfway point). The benefit to the HAlfway meeting point is that it will carry over in all aspects of your relationship, not just household rules and duties. As a result, it can present itself in various ways that extend their entire life: Teaches the phrase, "If you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" Helping Others: As they see someone in need of help, they will be more opted to want to help (seeing that someone can only go so far and they can pick up the slack and meet them HAlfway to accomplish a goal) Personality Trait: Gives the child the personality to not lie down for someone but not be arrogant or condescending either. Instead, it allows for personality traits that are much more assertive, practical, responsible, consistent, sensitive, thoughtful, and trustworthy HAndprint to HAndshake Authoritative parents will always be highly involved with their child's life right from the start in the cradle. The baby's HAndprint melts the parent's hearts as the baby's hand reaches out, and the parents meet them HAlfway with their hands pressing back on theirs. That is the composition of their relationship throughout their lives from that point on. As the child grows, their parents will always be close and involved, allowing them to make the bulk of decisions regarding what they want to do with their lives and have some self-control. With the child choosing the activities and hobbies (the child's half), the parents will ensure that they stick with it through thick and thin and endure (the parent's half). Doing this teaches discipline, responsibility, and drive, all while building character. Into teenhood, the parents will continue to allow their teenager to grow and mature, allowing them to become their own person, but ensuring that there are solid morals and firm beliefs (from a religious standpoint, even if the religion is no religion, and from a family belief standpoint). By this time, as a teenager, it would have been ingrained into their core, allowing them to make decisions that closely parallel their family's ideology. Because of this, their parents gradually shift from highly involved to highly supportive, allowing their near-grown child to test the waters of the "real world" but ensuring the guardrails are still in. As the parents let the now young adult flourish, always guiding them along the way since their HAndprints pressed each other nearly two decades before, the child is ready to move on, making their parents proud. The last thing the much older child does before moving out is giving the parents a hug and a HAndshake, thanking them for everything they have done over the years. From HAndprint to HAndshake, the parents have supported and guided the child through the best and worst times as authoritative parents. In Conclusion Regardless of which four parenting styles you prefer or practice, there is no proper right way or wrong way. However, each class may have sections you can pull from to make a style that best fits you and your family's personality. Authoritative parenting offers the best upside to raising children in today's society. Crucially though, it requires being firm and structured in your family belief system, and perhaps even more importantly, you must be involved and present in your child's life at all times to be effective. So, regardless of how you parent, as long as you and your family are comfortable with the style you choose, that is all that matters. Continue Reading: PART VI - UNderstand PROblems THEy HAve Parenting advice: What comes after parenting styles Catch up on the series: PART I - What kind R U? Parenting advice: Raise them without being overbearing, absent, or avoiding conflict PART II - The Big UNcubed Parenting advice: Raise them without being absent PART III - The Great PRO³ Parenting advice: Raise them without avoiding conflict PART IV - What THE? Parenting advice: Raise them without being overbearing Love it? Share it! (links to share below) Make sure they know where it came from #curlystacheblogs 👌 Take me back to more blog articles! ✒️ Take me home 🏠 Back to the top ⬆️

While it seems like all other parents have it figured out, their children doing all their housework with a smile, I'm here to tell you it's a lie. Can you remember a time growing up you did all of your chores eagerly? No? I'm here to report that the times have NOT changed. So, how can we get our little ones to help while giving them a valuable lesson that it is essential to help, do your part, and have a sense of community? I give you a list of 10 ways to get your children to do their chores correctly. 1. Remember the perspective. It's essential to remember how they feel and how their minds work. It is nothing that you don't already know; you were probably in the same shoes. They have school, extracurricular activities, and obligations. Their lives are also stressed, just on a juvenile level, by comparison. If you show compassion for this, results will improve. 2. Be reasonable. Workload could be a reason a child may have difficulties completing their daily tasks. School, homework, after-school activities, etc., could amount to an 8 to 10-hour day (depending on age), much like an adult. Remember, critically, they have a growing mind, and they need some social time and rest. So sit down with your children and review a list of house chores; ensure they have ample time for their obligations and at least an hour for their passions. 3. Allowances. Unfortunately, we live in a society so dead-set on greed that our children have it engrained even without us realizing it in many cases. If it is not money, it's a barter system or some other form of get-something-for-something; rarely is there a "no strings attached" for a "no particular reason" gift, unless they did something to deserve it, like chores. Embrace it. They do a household task or set tasks; then they receive a prize, money, a gift, or something gratifying, whether you would like to offer it as a thank you or a payday. 4. Keep it interesting. If you have children change up the chores however frequently you choose. Daily, weekly, monthly, there is no wrong way. However, if you have an only child, feel free to divvy it up with other family members since they are most likely not doing every chore alone. Doing this will make your child more inclined to do them since they change or flip-flop, keeping it interesting, never the same, and not so vanilla. 5. Kids games. Create a simple game to do a chore or set of duties that you can compete in. For instance, set a cup on your dinner table and shoot a wadded napkin or piece of paper into the cup at an agreed-upon distance. The first person to make the basket chooses the chore/chores they wish, while the remaining get split up amongst the rest, ensuring all children receive equal responsibilities. *Pro tip: you can do this by playing other games such as paper football, actual basketball (HORSE), and many other creative games! 6. More = More & Less = Less. Undoubtedly, that equation makes sense, even at a very young age. Therefore, encourage more chores for age-appropriate rewards (examples: money, increased curfew, gratifying gifts, or other bonuses). Similarly, if less is done, let it be clear that your child will receive less of what they want. By doing this, you can teach them the value of how their efforts directly impact the quantity and quality of work. 7. Reverse the roles. Give your child(ren) a bonus for a job well done. If they have done an exceptional job with their assigned duties over time, allow them to take charge of the chore list. Have them redistribute the chores as they see fit and permit them to give a few to you. By doing this, you show you recognize their responsibility and are willing to allow them to choose here and there, knowing that all the chores will be accomplished correctly and on time. 8. Atta boy/girl. Children are hyper-emotional adults without life experiences. Therefore, if you constantly point out what is wrong, not done, or not done correctly, their kneejerk response will be a sense of failure and resentment that it is not good enough. When they hear the good ole' "Atta boy!" or "Atta girl!" and the "I'm proud of you, you did great!" the feeling is sublime. All they strive to do at that point is more of the same, thanks to the emotional high they just received. 9. Give me a solution to the problem. Open a dialogue when your child cannot complete a chore or task by the due date/time; the sooner, the better. We live in a technologically capable world where it is no longer notes on a fridge, but now SMS messages, real-time iCals & Google calendars, etc., have your child utilize it! If they cannot accomplish a chore, something is preventing them from doing so, say mowing the lawn, have them notify you immediately of when it will be completed (as long as it is not a time-sensitive matter, of course) and why they could not do the job (i.e., raining). Doing this holds them to a higher standard to ensure it is a legitimate reason you would approve of. 10. Communication is key. This one takes all parties involved and is the most critical. Talk. Listen. That's it. Sit down with your child occasionally and ask them how they feel about the chores and the workload. Naturally, they will probably say they hate it, but try navigating past that as best as possible to find their strengths, weaknesses, and preferences. Utilizing this tip will help you as a parent to make sure you can make it easier on them, giving you more chances for success in having them accomplish all the chores assigned to them. By following these ten guidelines, you will have success in having your children help out around the house. I hope you find this valuable, and if you have any additional tips on what works or doesn't, I'd love to hear from you! Please subscribe to get notified of new posts! Love it? Share it! (links to share below) Make sure they know where it came from #curlystacheblogs 👌 Take me back to more blog articles! ✒️ Take me home 🏠 Back to the top ⬆️

written by: Daniel Currie Human Ink — Part I: Freedom vs. Forever Part 1 of a 2-post series on teens, tattoos, and real-world decision-making. Introduction Turning 18 hits like a lightning bolt: suddenly you can do big, adult things that felt impossible yesterday. Tattoos usually make the top five on that list. This is the story of my own “I could… but should I?” moment — and why I chose to hit pause. “Festina lente.” — Augustus (Translation: Make haste, slowly.) Freedom is a rush; wisdom is a pause. The real question is: can you wait long enough to test the “should I” inside every “I could” moment? Two Camps. One Birthday. When tattoos come up, most families split into two basecamps: “No ink, ever.”  Your body is fine as-is; tattoos are a line you don’t cross. “Your body, your call.”  You’re of age — more power to you. Most homes (mine included) live somewhere between those two. And then a kid turns 18… and that “somewhere” gets tested fast. 17.99875 Years Old: Three Hours to Freedom Upstate New York, 2001. I was the kid folks whispered would “head down the wrong path.” At 9 p.m. I was stuck home with a junior license that said no driving past 9 unless it’s work.  At midnight, that would change. Legally, I’d be “my own man.” 18.00000: The Door Opens — and I Sprint Through It Midnight hits. Keys. Door. Stepdad blockade. Heated words. Car. Gone. First stop: pick up a friend. Second: gas station scratch-offs and smokes (back then, 18 was legal for tobacco; now it’s 21). Third: Denny’s. Steak & eggs. Endless coffee. Too many scratch-offs. Laughing at life at 2 a.m. It felt like someone handed me the master key to adulthood. For the first time, the night belonged to me. When the Adrenaline Wears Off: “Permanent” Starts to Mean Something The new freedoms spun a reel in my head — later curfews, more hours at work, more time with friends and my girl. Then the big one slid into frame: tattoos . I’d wanted one for months. No needle fear. No legal barrier. The only obstacle would’ve been the family conflict of biblical proportions  it would cause. And yet… after the sugar-rush freedom faded, a quiet thought cut through the noise: permanent is permanent . If I was honest, 18-year-old me didn’t trust 18-year-old me with a lifetime decision. So I did the most un-18 thing imaginable. I waited. 😯 Why Waiting Was (Secretly) the Bold Move Not getting some body ink at 18 is one of my proudest choices. It wasn’t fear — it was future-proofing : My tastes were still shifting. I was impressionable — by friends, trends, and that new “I can do anything” high. The design I loved at midnight might not survive the sober light of 25… or 35. I still love tattoos. They’re art. They’re story. They’re identity. But they’re also forever , and forever deserves a clear head. My 5 Rules That Saved Me at 18 Sleep on it — repeatedly.  If a design survives 60–90 days, it’s sturdier than a whim. Test the story.  If you can’t explain the meaning in one sentence you’re proud of, it’s not ready. Future-you check.  Picture 25-, 35-, and 55-year-old you wearing it at work, weddings, and with your kids. Still a yes? Placement is a promise.  The more visible the spot, the more your future career and relationships inherit the choice. Pain is temporary; ink is not.   Be braver about the timeline than the needle. Exceptions I Respect (Even at 18) Memorial tattoos for someone you truly loved. Lifetime loyalties (yes, some of us bleed green — go Packers 😏). Shared symbolism with deep meaning (e.g., siblings’ matching ink). Even then: slow down, plan the placement, and choose the artist like you choose a surgeon. Takeaway for Parents & Teens Parents:  Lead with curiosity, not control. Ask about meaning, placement, and “five-years-from-now you.” Teens/Young Adults:  Freedom hits fast. Great decisions come after the rush fades. Ready for the Next?   Ready for the practical playbook? Read Part 2: Navigating Teen Tattoos: Support Over Suppression (Human Ink — Part II) Frequently Asked Questions Is 18 a good age for a first tattoo? It can be — if the design, placement, and meaning survive time. Waiting a few months and doing a future-you check saves a lot of regret. How do we talk about body art without a blow-up? Ask about meaning first, then placement and timeline. A respectful “not yet” plus a date to revisit beats a hard “no.” What’s a safe way to try before you buy? Use high-quality temporary tattoos, do a mirror test, and take photos in different outfits/lighting. Love it? Share it!   👌 ( Links below—make sure they know where it came from! ) #MentalHorizons #TeenMentalHealth #GuidingTeenagers #CurlyStacheBlogs #BloomingThoughts Mental Health & Parenting Blogs  ✒️ Take me home  🏠 Back to the top  ⬆️ Originally Written on: April 5, 2023 Most Recent Update on: Nov 3, 2025