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written by: Daniel Currie Introduction: Sibling Issues Have you ever seen a minor sibling dispute spiral out of control? Today, we dive into a story that many will find familiar, yet shocking in its consequences. While often dismissed as typical childhood squabbles, these disputes can sometimes have lasting psychological and physical effects . This narrative explores a day in the life of two siblings whose typical rivalry took a serious turn, offering profound insights into the delicate balance required to manage sibling issues and dynamics. Table of Contents ► Then and Now: Reflecting on Sibling Issues and Complex Dynamics ► A True Story of Sibling Issues and Rivalry Consequences ● The Characters ● The Incident ● The Reaction ● The Recoil ● Regret ● Concussion Protocol: The Hospital Visit ► Sibling Issues: Immediate Reactions and Parental Intervention ► When Sibling Issues Become Hospital Visits, Medical Insights ► 5 Alarming Facts About Sibling Issues and Their Long-Term Effects ► Sibling Issues and Rivalries: Immediate Reflections and Lessons Learned as Seen By Two Siblings ► Sibling Issues and Rivalries: Reflections and Lessons Learned as Seen By Two Siblings Over Time ► Sibling Issues and the Next Steps: Preventing Future Incidents ► Wrap-Up: The Lasting Impact of Sibling Issues and Rivalries ► Frequently Asked Questions About Sibling Issues, including additional resources Then and Now: Reflecting on Sibling Issues and Complex Dynamics Reflecting on childhood, sibling interactions often oscillate between heartwarming teamwork and fiery disputes that challenge the tranquility of home life. A look back at these dynamics not only invokes nostalgia but also offers essential lessons for contemporary parenting. Understanding the influence of past sibling relationships is crucial for fostering a supportive and peaceful home environment today. A True Story of Sibling Issues and Rivalry Consequences The Characters Meet Khloé, a spirited 7th grader with a knack for testing limits, and her older brother Dylan, an 8th grader known for his calm demeanor. Despite his reserved nature, Dylan frequently finds himself the target of Khloé's boundary-pushing antics, setting the stage for an unforgettable confrontation. The Incident On an ordinary evening, while Dylan was tidying up the kitchen, Khloé, feeling particularly mischievous, decided to stir up trouble and sibling issues. She stealthily approached Dylan and, with a quick shove, disrupted his chores—and mood. Their sibling issues were now beginning to escalate. Shocked by the sudden aggression, Dylan pushed back, marking a boundary with a stern look that served as a silent final warning. The Reaction Ignoring the warning, Khloé escalated the situation by slapping Dylan. Her actions resonated through the house, catching their mother's attention from the next room. Seeing Dylan's unflinching response and realizing she had perhaps gone too far, Khloé's instinct to flee kicked in. She ran to their mother, fearing the repercussions from her brother. The Recoil Caught in the heat of the moment, Dylan's judgment clouded by adrenaline, he chased Khloé down to the living room. What followed was a moment of lost temper as he spun her around and, in a regrettable decision, picked her up off the ground, throwing her to the ground head first. Regret The severity of his actions quickly dawned on Dylan as he saw Khloé dazed and confused on the floor, her cries for ice a stark reminder of the immediate consequences of their skirmish. Despite their sibling issues and antics, Dylan cared deeply for his sister, leaving him in deep regret. As tensions reached their peak , the consequences became unavoidably severe. Khloé was not right, not remembering simple things she had done throughout the day. Petrified and not knowing what to do, we rushed her to the emergency room to make sure there was nothing vitally wrong. Concussion Protocol: The Hospital Visit As the urgency of the situation led all of us to the hospital, where the staff promptly assessed Khloé, we could only pray she would be fine. After testing and waiting, we learned it was a concussion. Fortunately, it was not a severe concussion, but the incident left a lasting impression on both siblings about the real-world impact of their actions that stemmed from their sibling issues and consequences. Sibling Issues: Immediate Reactions and Parental Intervention This incident underscores the critical role of parental intervention in sibling issues and conflicts . As parents, it's crucial to recognize and respond to such escalations promptly. Setting and enforcing ground rules within your home for safety during sibling issues and escalations is vital .  How do you handle similar situations? Share your experiences in the comments below. When Sibling Issues Become Hospital Visits, Medical Insights The visit to the emergency room was a wake-up call about the potential severity when minor sibling issues and squabbles take a turn for the worse, becoming dangerous sibling disputes with dire consequences. In the event of a suspected concussion or any substantial injury, acting on it as soon as possible is essential, not leaving anything to chance. "If a concussion goes undiagnosed and untreated, the immediate consequence is that you are at a much higher risk for sustaining another injury, even with much less force," Dr. Shetty says, "In terms of long-term outcomes, not following concussion guidelines after an injury can lead to persistent symptoms and eventual post-concussive syndrome, in which symptoms last for weeks, months or even years after the initial injury." —  Dr. Teena Shetty, neurologist and program director of the Concussion Program at H.S.S. 5 Alarming Facts About Sibling Issues and Their Long-Term Effects Widespread Abuse : Approximately one in three children with siblings experience some form of physical or verbal abuse, significantly increasing their risk of developing mental health issues later in life. Growing Apart : Roughly two-thirds of siblings grow distant due to ongoing conflicts during childhood, leading to indifference or estrangement in adulthood. Source of Abuse : In most sibling rivalry cases, the older child is often the perpetrator, particularly in conflicts between siblings of opposite sexes. Lasting Emotional Scars : Adults who endured sibling abuse or frequent conflicts during childhood frequently report lower self-esteem, heightened sensitivity, and insecurity. Parental Vigilance Needed : With 96.3% of siblings experiencing rivalry at some point, it's crucial for parents to monitor these interactions closely to prevent them from escalating into abuse. Sibling Issues and Rivalries: Immediate Reflections and Lessons Learned as Seen By Two Siblings This event has taught us all valuable lessons about the consequences of sibling issues within the complex dynamics of sibling rivalries. The emotional aftermath for each sibling was profound. Khloé's feeling of guilt for instigating Dylan during a time of intense aggression allowed her to consider others. Dylan's realization of his internal struggle with anger and protectiveness continues to resonate within him. Sibling Issues and Rivalries: Reflections and Lessons Learned as Seen By Two Siblings Over Time As the days and months passed, their sibling bond grew and flourished with a newfound respect, and they realized their power to change each other's outcomes. Through reflection, Dylan and Khloé have learned to honor each other's boundaries and the importance of managing emotions , especially during conflicts, as they continuously grow from this experience. As one of our most trusted resources, Psychology Today, states, "Sibling conflict provides an important opportunity to learn many interpersonal skills essential for healthy relationships, like listening skills, cooperation, seeing another person's point of view, and managing emotions." — article written by Corinna Jenkins Tucker, Ph.D., C.F.L.E., and Tanya Rouleau Whitworth, Ph.D. for PsycologyToday.com Sibling Issues and the Next Steps: Preventing Future Incidents This section offers practical advice for parents on de-escalating sibling issues and their conflicts while fostering positive interactions. Setting distinctive, clear boundaries and encouraging open communication are essential strategies for preventing similar incidents and other sibling issues. Wrap-Up: The Lasting Impact of Sibling Issues and Rivalries Sibling relationships are complex and filled with both challenges and opportunities for growth. By understanding and addressing the causes and effects of sibling issues and rivalries, families can transform conflicts into moments of learning and mutual respect, strengthening the bonds of family life . Have you navigated sibling rivalries at home? Share your story or tip in the comments to help other families. Frequently Asked Questions About Sibling Issues What are common signs of unhealthy sibling rivalry? Unhealthy sibling rivalry might include frequent physical confrontations, verbal abuse, and one sibling consistently undermining or belittling the other. Watch for signs like anxiety, withdrawal, aggression, or changes in behavior, which could indicate that the rivalry is affecting a child's mental health. How can parents help manage sibling rivalries? Parents can manage sibling rivalries by setting clear rules for respectful behavior, fostering a supportive family environment , and ensuring each child receives equal attention and praise. It’s also beneficial to teach conflict resolution skills and encourage siblings to express their feelings openly in a safe and constructive manner. At what point should professional help be sought for sibling issues? Professional help should be considered if the conflicts cause significant distress, lead to behavioral issues at home or school, or if the parents feel overwhelmed and unable to manage the rivalry on their own. Therapy can provide strategies for managing conflict and improving sibling relationships. Are there long-term effects of sibling abuse or rivalry? Yes, the long-term effects of sibling abuse or intense rivalry can include mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Victims may also experience difficulties in forming and maintaining healthy relationships outside the family. What role do parents play in preventing sibling abuse? Parents play a crucial role in preventing sibling abuse by modeling respectful behavior, intervening in conflicts, and setting boundaries. It's important for parents to recognize the difference between normal sibling rivalry and abusive behavior. Consistent parental intervention and, if necessary, professional guidance, are key in preventing abuse. Can sibling relationships improve as adults after a contentious childhood? Yes, sibling relationships can improve in adulthood. With maturity, individuals may better understand and forgive past conflicts. Therapy or structured conversations facilitated by a mediator can also help siblings overcome past grievances and rebuild their relationships. How can siblings independently resolve their issues without constant parental intervention? Siblings can learn to resolve their issues by developing good communication skills, respecting each other’s differences, and working on conflict resolution techniques. Encouraging them to solve minor disagreements on their own can help them develop these skills. However, parents should still monitor the situation to ensure conflicts do not escalate. How do birth order and age gaps affect sibling rivalry? Birth order and age gaps can significantly influence the dynamics of sibling rivalry. Typically, older siblings may feel jealous or displaced by younger siblings, while younger siblings might struggle with living up to the perceived successes of older siblings. Larger age gaps can either lessen rivalry due to different life stages or increase misunderstandings due to different interests and capabilities. Parents can mitigate these issues by being aware of each child's developmental needs and avoiding comparisons. Are there specific resources or books that can help families deal with sibling issues? Yes, several resources and books can provide guidance and strategies for managing sibling issues. Some recommended titles include Siblings Without Rivalry , written by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish The Sibling Effect: What the Bonds Among Brothers and Sisters Reveal About Us , written by Jeffrey Kluger Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How to Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life , written by Dr. Laura Markham Additionally, family therapy and online resources such as parenting blogs and forums can offer practical advice and support. Love it? Share it!  (links below the written date/references!) Make sure they know where it came from 👌 #GuidingTeenagers #CurlyStacheBlogs #BloomingThoughts Take me back to more blog articles !  ✒️ Take me home  🏠 Back to the top  ⬆️ Originally Written on: March 29, 2023 Most Recent Update on: April 14, 2024

written by: Daniel Currie editing and proofreading by: Jacasa Currie Welcome to the age of the screen, where teenagers live in a digital world that never sleeps. Their reality? A constant stream of likes, shares, and endless scrolling. But behind the perfectly filtered posts and viral trends, a battle rages—teen mental health vs. social media addiction. Teen anxiety, depression, and self-worth are being shaped  not by real-life experiences but by algorithms and curated feeds. This isn’t about blaming technology—it’s about understanding the impact of social media on teen mental health  and how it’s rewiring young minds. 🚀 🔥 Stay tuned! Part 2 drops Monday, 4/21, by Jacasa! She’ll tackle teen mental health and social media addiction in schools , peer pressure, and the hot debate on phones in school! Don’t miss it! Table of Contents ► The Mental Health Crisis in Today's Teens ► How Social Media is Fueling the Mental Health Epidemic ► The Dopamine Trap: Why Social Media Hooks Teens ► Signs Your Teen is Struggling with Their Mental Health ► Breaking the Cycle: How to Help Your Teen Without Losing Your Mind ◦ Step 1: Open the Coversation Without Judgment ◦ Step 2: Set Healthy Boundaries with Social Media ► Building a Positive Digital Identity: Empowering Teens Online ► Self-Care Beyond the Screen: Mental Health Tools for Teens ► Conclusion: It's About Balance, Not Banning The Mental Health Crisis in Today’s Teens Imagine this: A teen wakes up and checks their phone before even rolling out of bed. Before breakfast, they’ve seen a model-perfect influencer, their friends hanging out without them, and a viral challenge they need to try. Their dopamine hits keep coming—but so does the anxiety. 📌 The Reality Check: 1 in 5 teens has a diagnosed mental health  disorder.  Social media comparison culture fuels stress , anxiety, and self-doubt—major contributors to declining teen mental health . Dopamine addiction trains teens to crave instant validation, further worsening the impact of social media on teen mental health . How Social Media is Fueling the Mental Health Epidemic Think of social media as junk food for the brain. A little won’t hurt, but too much? It leaves teens drained, addicted, and craving more—seriously affecting their mental health . 📌 The Harsh Truths: The TikTok & Instagram Effect:  Unrealistic beauty standards, luxury lifestyles, and pressure to ‘perform’ online contribute to body dissatisfaction and low self-esteem—key factors in declining teen mental health . The FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) Cycle:  Teens feel trapped in the ‘always online’ world, fearing they’ll miss out if they unplug. This constant connectivity increases stress and anxiety—magnifying the impact of social media on teen mental health . Cyberbullying Never Sleeps:  Bullies now have 24/7 access to victims. Digital harassment has become one of the leading triggers of mental health struggles  in teens. The Dopamine Trap: Why Social Media Hooks Teens Dopamine is the brain’s feel-good chemical, released when we experience something rewarding—like a like, share, or comment on social media. This neurological loop is at the core of the social media addiction problem affecting teen mental health . 📌 The Science Behind Dopamine & Social Media: Instant Gratification Loop:  Every notification or post triggers a dopamine spike, reinforcing compulsive behaviors linked to poor teen mental health . Tolerance Builds Over Time:  The more they scroll, the less rewarding it becomes—leading to increased screen time and further exacerbating the impact of social media on teen mental health . Withdrawal & Mood Swings:  When dopamine levels drop, teens experience irritability, anxiety, or restlessness—key warning signs of compromised mental health . Signs Your Teen is Struggling with Their Mental Health Not all struggles are loud. Sometimes, they hide behind a phone screen, behind “I’m fine.” Recognizing early signs is essential to protecting your teen’s mental health . 📌 Red Flags to Watch For: Sudden mood swings, withdrawal, or irritability:  These are common signs that social media addiction  is impacting teen mental health . Chronic fatigue, headaches, or sleep issues:  Excessive screen time disrupts rest and recovery, often leading to declines in both physical and mental health . Obsessive phone use:  Panic when without their phone, constantly checking notifications, and inability to reduce screen time all point to the deeper impact of social media on teen mental health . 📢 If any of these hit home, don’t ignore them! Keep reading for practical solutions to protect your teen’s mental health . Breaking the Cycle: How to Help Your Teen Without Losing Your Mind Step 1: Open the Conversation Without Judgment Want to help your teen? Drop the lectures. Instead, listen. Meet them where they are, especially when discussing the impact of social media on teen mental health . 📌 How to Start the Conversation: Ditch the blame game:  Ask open-ended questions and let them talk. Show you're a safe space to share their mental health struggles . Validate their feelings:  What may seem trivial to you might be a big deal in their world, particularly when it involves their digital identity and mental health . Focus on balance, not bans:  Help them create a healthier relationship with social media to improve teen mental health outcomes . Step 2: Set Healthy Boundaries with Social Media 📌 Practical Tips for Parents: Create “tech-free” zones:  Promote connection and better sleep—two essential elements for good mental health . Encourage offline hobbies:  These offer a dopamine boost that supports teen mental health  naturally. Teach digital literacy:  Help them see beyond the highlight reels, an essential step in reducing the negative impact of social media on teen mental health . 💥 🚀 🔥 ⚡ → Stay tuned! ← Next episode, we’ll tackle what to do about social media in schools! 🧠🔍📱🎉 Building a Positive Digital Identity: Empowering Teens Online Teen mental health  can benefit from social media—if used intentionally. Help your teen create a meaningful and safe digital life. 📌 How Teens Can Positively Leverage Social Media: Encourage authentic self-expression:  Being real online can boost confidence and protect teen mental health . Promote purposeful posting:  Focus on interests, achievements, and passions to shift the mental health narrative  toward empowerment. Teach responsible digital citizenship:  Empathy online leads to stronger communities and better emotional health . Connect to positive communities:  Online groups with shared values can be lifelines for mental health support . Self-Care Beyond the Screen: Mental Health Tools for Teens Caring for teen mental health  requires more than screen restrictions. It's about building emotional resilience. 📌 Practical Self-Care Strategies to Teach Your Teen: Mindfulness & relaxation techniques:  These help counteract the dopamine rollercoaster caused by social media. Physical activity & outdoor time:  Movement is powerful medicine for teen mental health . Creative expression:  Writing, drawing, or music allows teens to channel emotions in healthy ways. Healthy sleep routines:  Good sleep hygiene directly supports stable mental health . Conclusion: It’s About Balance, Not Banning We can’t erase social media. But we can teach teens how to use it without letting it use them. The goal is to lessen the impact of social media on teen mental health  while building real-life skills for resilience. 📌 Final Thoughts: Open conversations lead to real change:  Communication is your most powerful tool in safeguarding teen mental health . Mental health awareness is key:  Empower your teen with knowledge. Help them build self-worth beyond the screen:  True confidence doesn’t come from likes—it comes from within. 🎯 Remember : The goal isn’t to eliminate social media. It’s to teach teens to control it before it controls them—and to protect their mental health  along the way. Love it? Share it!  (links below the written date/references!) Make sure they know where it came from 👌 #GuidingTeenagers #CurlyStacheBlogs #BloomingThoughts Take me back to more blog articles !  ✒️ Take me home  🏠 Back to the top  ⬆️ Originally Written on: April 7, 2025

written by: Daniel Currie editing and proofreading by: Jacasa Currie Mashup Dedicated to Jacasa Currie Guiding Teenagers Bite-Size 4-minute Blogs, best known as GT Mashups No fancy formats. Opinionated. Based On Facts. Whether you are a stressed parent navigating this thing they call parenthood, a teenager simply trying to figure out their preferences in life, or someone in between, this is a PSA just for you. In our first post of Season 5, we launch with our fan-favorite Mashup style blog: the shorter, laid-back, and more opinion-based blog, where formats are anything but mandatory. Regardless, in this Mashup, we dive into the concept that is vital to the mind and soul, regardless of your age. The only age criteria for this post is anyone who dares to dream! Now, without further ado, enjoy this first episode with some intense passion! Table of Contents Now you must be thinking, WTF? What does this guy mean by saying, "Enjoy this first episode with some intense passion!" Intense passion? Yeah, you read correctly—intense passion. This Mashup will explain how and why intense passion is vital for a healthy and happy life—regardless of parenting status! To clarify, when I say "intense passion," it's the kind of passion that makes your heart race, your eyes sparkle, and your soul catch fire. Face it: life is too short to live any other way, and if you've been tiptoeing through your days, it's time to wake up and start running. Passion-driven living isn't just a concept; it's a lifestyle, a mindset, a damn good way to turn the ordinary into extraordinary. Why Intense Passion Matters Let's face it: life can be mundane. It's easy to fall into a routine, doing the same things day in and day out until the days blur into weeks—even months, and years. But what if, instead of just going through the motions, you started living with purpose and intense passion? That's when life stops being something that happens to you and starts being something you create, shape, and fiercely own. Passion-driven people don't wait for life to hand them an invitation; they kick down the door and, in a fit of emotional passion, scream, "Here I am, make some noise because you might as well get busy living, or you might as well get busy dying!" They feel every experience deeply, savor every victory, and embrace every challenge with a fire that refuses to be extinguished. Finding Your Passion Now, you might be thinking, "That's all well and good, but what if I don't know what I'm passionate about?" The truth is, not everyone is born knowing exactly what sets their soul on fire. And that's okay! Finding your passion is a journey, not a destination. Start by exploring what interests you. Maybe it's parenting, perhaps it's writing blogs, or maybe it's your career. Regardless, take note of the things that make you lose track of time, the activities that fill you with energy and joy. Experiment, try new things, fail, and try again. Passion-driven living isn't about finding one thing and sticking to it forever; it's about continuously exploring and discovering new aspects of yourself and the world around you. Embracing Intensity in Everyday Life Living with intense passion doesn't mean you have to quit your job, sell all your belongings, and move to a cabin in the woods (unless that's what you're into—then go for it!). It's about infusing your everyday life with meaning and purpose. It's about doing whatever you do—whether it's your job, your hobbies, your relationships—with a full heart and unwavering dedication. If you're a parent, be the most passionate, involved, and loving parent you can be. If you're a student, dive into your studies with curiosity and enthusiasm. If you're a barista, make that cup of coffee like it's the most important thing you'll do all day. Passion-driven living is about finding the extraordinary in the ordinary and never settling for anything less than what sets your soul on fire. Overcoming Obstacles to Passion Let's get real for a minute: living with intense passion isn't always easy. There will be obstacles—fear, doubt, criticism from others, and sometimes even the dreaded burnout. But here's the thing: nothing worth having ever comes easy. When you commit to a passion-driven life, you learn to see these obstacles not as roadblocks but as stepping stones. You embrace challenges as opportunities for growth. When the going gets tough, you dig deep, fuel your fire with your unwavering love for what you do, and keep pushing forward. Passion-driven people are resilient because their passion gives them the strength to overcome anything life throws their way. Connecting with Like-Minded Souls One of the beautiful things about living with intense passion is that it naturally attracts like-minded individuals. Passion is contagious. When you're truly passionate about something, people can't help but be drawn to your energy. Surround yourself with people who share your enthusiasm for life, who encourage you to chase your dreams, and who celebrate your victories with the same joy as their own. Passion-driven living isn't just about finding your path; it's about building a community of people who inspire and uplift each other. It's about creating a network of intense passion that fuels creativity, collaboration, and genuine human connection. With that said, since our blogs typically specialize in raising teens, it is worth noting that it is vital to let your teen (or teens) explore their passions, allowing them to press forward with intensity—and, crucially, without judgment. Making Every Moment Count At the end of the day, living with intense passion is about making every moment, every day, count. It's about waking up each morning excited for what the day will bring. It's finding like-minded people to elevate your feelings and joy that much more, knowing there is no limit to those intense feelings. And it's about ending each day with a sense of fulfillment, knowing you gave it your all. Passion-driven people don't live for the weekends or the next vacation; they find joy in the here and now. They understand that life is a series of moments, and it's up to them to make each one as meaningful as possible. So, take a deep breath, put your heart into whatever you do, and start living a passion-driven life today. Conclusion: Your Passion-Driven Journey Starts Now Life isn't about waiting for the perfect moment; it's about making the moment perfect with your intense passion. It's about taking whatever you're doing, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, and doing it with everything you've got. Whether you're pursuing a lifelong dream, tackling a new hobby, or simply navigating the daily grind, do it with purpose, do it with fire, and do it with intense passion. Because that's how you turn an ordinary life into an extraordinary adventure. So go out there and live like you mean it. Be bold, be brave, and be unapologetically passion-driven. The world is waiting for you to set it on fire. Love it? Share it!  (links below the written date/references!) Make sure they know where it came from 👌 #GuidingTeenagers #CurlyStacheBlogs #BloomingThoughts Take me back to more blog articles !  ✒️ Take me home  🏠 Back to the top  ⬆️ Originally Written on: January 20, 2025

written by: Daniel Currie editing and proofreading by: Jacasa Currie Hey, everyone! Massive shoutout to all of you for sticking around and continuing to support Guiding Teenagers. If you're new here, welcome! I'm thrilled to have you join us for Season 5. We're back and better than ever with more insight, guidance, and real talk about raising, guiding, and understanding teenagers in today's not-so-stable, crazy world. Don't forget to follow us on all our socials (links below) to stay connected! In today's blog, we're diving into a question that so many parents struggle with: "Toxic Teen or Afflicted Adolescent?"  Are they acting out because they're a problem, or is there something deeper going on? Spoiler alert: It's usually the latter. Stick with me because I'm breaking this down piece by piece and giving you real, actionable steps to better understand and help your teen—no BS, just heart and hard truths. Table of Contents ► What Does It Mean to Have a Toxic Teen? ► What Can You Do for a Toxic Teen? ● Steps to Support Your Teen ► What is an Afflicted Adolescent? ► The Difference Between a Toxic Teen and an Afflicted Adolescent ● Toxic Teen: Influenced by External Factors ● Afflicted Adolescent: Struggling Internally ► What Can You Do for an Afflicted Adolescent? ► Under the Influence: When Escaping Reality Becomes the Problem ► Amplifying Toxic and Afflicted Effects ► Defeating the Toxic and Afflicted Tension: 8 Ways to Help ► Conclusion What Does It Mean to Have a Toxic Teen? Let's start with the obvious. You've probably seen the classic signs of a "Toxic Teen." They're defiant, disrespectful, and constantly pushing the boundaries. Maybe they're skipping school, hanging with the wrong crowd, or just radiating negativity like it's their job. But here's the thing: toxic behavior doesn't come out of nowhere . Often, it's rooted in external influences . Maybe they're being bullied, struggling academically, or dealing with some real-life family issues that they can't articulate. Think of it like this: Toxic teens don't want  to be angry and destructive; they just reflect the chaos they feel inside or around them. Don't mistake their outbursts for who they are . Instead, dig into why they're behaving this way. What Can You Do for a Toxic Teen? So, how do you help a "Toxic Teen" without losing your sanity? First, let's talk about the power of authoritative parenting . Authoritative parenting  means being warm, responsive, and supportive while still holding clear, firm boundaries. It's not about being their best friend or ruling with an iron fist. It's about balance. Steps to Support Your Teen: Love them unconditionally  – Yeah, they're being a pain in the ass right now, but unconditional love is what makes you their rock. Make sure they know it. No, it doesn't mean you must hug them 30 times daily; after all, tough love is still love. Furthermore, it doesn't matter how others perceive your relationship; it's about what works best for you and your teen. What does matter is that you tell them that you love them unconditionally. Make it undeniable to them. Listen more, talk less  – Let them open up on their terms without judgment. Listen. Really listen. Despite how hard it may be to want to offer advice, solve their problems, and take away their pain, refrain. When they need advice, they will ask, and in turn, you will be amazed at how much insight you can gain by actively listening—all while they confide in you! Be consistent  – Set expectations and stick to them. Even when they fail, and they will  fail, stay firm and forgiving. Teens thrive in stability. Invest time  – Rebuilding trust takes time . Go to their games, learn their hobbies, and show up. Be present in whatever they do. Even when they don't seem to care, they're watching. It won't be easy. There will be setbacks, frustration, and maybe even moments where you want to throw in the towel. But showing up every day with patience, love, and a willingness to try  will make a world of difference. What is an Afflicted Adolescent? Now, let's switch gears and talk about the other side: Afflicted Adolescents . These are teens struggling internally—often with mental health issues, self-esteem, or raging hormones. Simply put, it's the stuff that is not so controllable. For instance, instead of lashing out, they might act out for attention, withdraw, or spiral into anxiety and depression. It's not that they're trying to be difficult; they just don't know how to express their thoughts and feelings in a way that makes sense to them or anyone else. Confusion and uncertainty reign supreme in their developing minds as they navigate uncharted waters of teenhood. Here's an example: Maybe your teen used to love school and being in afterschool activities because they were a social butterfly and loved being the center of attention. Now, they are declining invitations to school functions, are noticeably sick on certain school days, and overall not their chipper and giddy self. This doesn't mean you should jump to conclusions; however, there are definite signs that your teen could be an afflicted adolescent. Let's dive into some of the key differences between the Toxic Teen and Afflicted Adolescent so we can better understand what is going on in this example. The Difference Between a Toxic Teen and an Afflicted Adolescent Understanding the distinction between a Toxic Teen and an Afflicted Adolescent is crucial in guiding your approach. While both may exhibit challenging behaviors, the roots of their struggles differ significantly. Toxic Teen: Influenced by External Factors A Toxic Teen's demeanor and personality are heavily influenced by their surroundings. There are three main contributing factors to keep in mind: Peer Groups : The saying "you are who you hang with" couldn't be more accurate. Teens who spend time with rebellious or negative peers often mimic similar behaviors to fit in. It's human nature—at any age—to adopt the mannerisms of those you surround yourself with. Family Environment : Family dynamics play a crucial role in shaping behavior. Tension, inconsistency, or a lack of boundaries at home can create an atmosphere where toxic behaviors thrive. Just as teens mimic their peers, they naturally pick up attitudes and behaviors from family members as well. If negative attitudes or behaviors are present in the household, there's a strong likelihood your teen may adopt those mannerisms, too. External Stressors : Academic pressures, friendship drama, and social media toxicity can significantly magnify negative habits and behaviors. With the ever-increasing demands of school, the challenges of peer conflicts, and the unrealistic standards set by social media, teens can quickly become overwhelmed, making it all the more crucial to provide guidance and support. Simply put, their behavior is often a reflection of what they've learned or absorbed from their environment. They're like sponges, soaking up external influences, whether good or bad. As we touched on already, the more involved you are in trying to understand their world, the better; this includes listening without judgment, keeping an open mind, being empathetic, and, most importantly, remaining respectful of their preferences. Respect doesn't mean you have to agree with their interests; it simply means acknowledging them. These efforts significantly increase the chances of making positive changes in their environment and, ultimately, within them. Afflicted Adolescent: Struggling Internally An afflicted adolescent, on the other hand, faces battles that are more internal and often harder to pinpoint. Afflicted adolescents grapple with issues that can feel overwhelming and isolating. Their actions often serve as cries for understanding and support. That said, approaching them with empathy and patience is vital. Recognizing these internal battles is the first step toward helping them find balance and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Let's dive into the top reasons that affect most afflicted adolescents: Mental Health Struggles : Anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues can create significant turmoil. These teens often feel overwhelmed and unable to cope with their emotions. When a teen faces these struggles, the onset can happen in the blink of an eye or over the years of adolescence. Hormonal Changes : The rollercoaster of adolescence can wreak havoc on their moods and outlook. As I'm sure all of us parents experienced when we were teens, hormones can dramatically impact overall behavior. Self-Esteem Issues : Low self-confidence and feelings of inadequacy can lead teens to withdraw or act out. In this vulnerable stage, criticism or comparison can significantly amplify their insecurities. Adolescents are highly sensitive to how they perceive themselves and how they believe others view them. Bullying or Social Pressures : Feeling ostracized or judged by peers can deeply affect a teen's sense of self-worth. Bullying, whether in person or online, can lead to feelings of isolation, anxiety, and even depression. Social pressures to fit in, meet expectations, or conform to trends only amplify these struggles. Teens often internalize these experiences, which can manifest as withdrawal, anger, or risky behavior. Perception of Others : An afflicted adolescent may overly focus on how others perceive them, leading to stress, overthinking, and self-doubt. This concept, often called "imaginary audience," is typical in adolescent development. It can make them feel as though they're constantly being judged, even when they're not. Unlike Toxic Teens, these struggles often emerge without an apparent external trigger. Supporting an afflicted adolescent means addressing their internal world with empathy, patience, and professional help if needed. What Can You Do for an Afflicted Adolescent? Supporting an afflicted teen is about empathy, openness, and respect. Here are some key strategies: Offer help without pushing  – Gently encourage therapy, counseling, or talking to a trusted adult if they feel uncomfortable confiding in you (and don't be upset if they don't want to talk to you; I promise it isn't personal under normal circumstances!) Respect their interests  – Even if it's TikTok, Instagram, or gaming for hours, understanding their passions will show them your acceptance of their interests. Even if you think their choices aren't the greatest, as long as they are not harmful, illegal, or immoral (based on your belief system), you should respect them; it will go a long way. Encourage mental wellness – Normalize therapy, journaling, or meditation as tools for a healthy mind. We must ensure that our teens understand that mental health is just as important as physical health and that seeking help when needed is essential. Never shame or isolate  – Making them feel ashamed for their struggles will only push them deeper into themselves. It sounds obvious, I know, but sometimes, what may not seem like a big deal (or something said a certain way) can cause our teens to slump deeper into their uncertainties, further validating their unworthiness. It's crucial to remember that although the problems may not be a problem to you, they are a real thing to them. Mental health struggles are real. The sooner we accept that, the better chance we have at guiding our kids to a healthier place. It's vital to remember that it starts with you, the parent, extending a hand of hope, offering the support they seek that they just don't know how to ask for. Under the Influence: When Escaping Reality Becomes the Problem Here's where things get even trickier. It doesn't matter whether you're dealing with a Toxic Teen or an Afflicted Adolescent— drugs and alcohol  can become a tempting escape in many cases. Why can it become a tempting escape? Maybe they're drinking to numb their pain, or perhaps trying to feel something  when everything else feels empty. Regardless, they are growing teenagers who stumble and try to figure things out on their own. Don't panic, but certainly don't ignore it either. It's our job to guide them away from the harmful band-aid feelings of drugs and alcohol and give them the tools necessary to conquer their issues without the need for illegal substances. There is a silver lining, though, so don't fret! Just because your teen may experiment with drugs and alcohol, it does not necessarily mean they are struggling with internal or external issues. Remember, we are talking about impressionable adolescents. There can be many reasons why drugs and alcohol may have entered their lives. Maybe it isn't turmoil they are going through. Maybe it's wanting to fit in, and it was readily available at a party they went to. It could be peer pressure, their friends convincing them, or their sheer curiosity getting the best of them. Regardless, before jumping to conclusions, it is critical to do your homework and figure out, to the best that you can, the reason for drugs and alcohol if you find your teen is in this situation. Amplifying Toxic and Afflicted Effects Substances like drugs and alcohol act as amplifiers over time. Sure, they might make your teen feel good initially or quiet the chaos in their mind, but as we all know, they're nothing more than temporary fixes. It's like putting a band-aid on a gunshot wound—completely inadequate for the depth of the issue. When teens use substances to cope, they're not solving the problem; they're prolonging and ultimately worsening it. If your teen is struggling with anger, anxiety, or other intense emotions, drugs and alcohol can amplify those feelings tenfold. Worse yet, and it goes without saying, chronic use can lead to addiction, which obviously creates a whole new storm of challenges and instability in their lives. So, what might it look like if a teen were drinking as an emotional crutch? Here's a hypothetical example: You notice your teen has started sneaking out late at night. Now, you stumble upon an empty beer bottle in their room that they had clearly forgotten to hide. At first, you feel a mix of betrayal and fury. But instead of reacting immediately, you decide to sleep on it to avoid an explosive confrontation. The next morning, you approach your teen and the situation with a cooler head and a calm demeanor. Thanks to your even tone and genuine willingness to listen, your teen begins to open up. They admit they've been drinking to "calm their nerves." Their math class is overwhelming. The assignments are confusing, the professor is tough, and they feel utterly unprepared for their upcoming exams. This revelation points to a deeper issue: anxiety. Now that you know what's truly going on, you can focus on helping them address the root cause. Instead of focusing solely on drinking (regardless of being reprimanded for the wrongdoing), you can explore healthier coping mechanisms together, such as mindfulness exercises, tutoring, or speaking with a school counselor. By fostering open communication and offering constructive solutions, you're not just addressing the drinking; you're equipping your teen with the tools to handle stress in a healthier, more sustainable way. This approach shows empathy and care while reinforcing boundaries—because you love them and want the best for their future. Defeating the Toxic and Afflicted Tension: 8 Ways to Help Here are 8 actionable ways to help your teen, counting down to the most important. #8 – Get Them Involved in Activities Idle hands make for bad choices. Encourage clubs, sports, or volunteering. #7 – Set Healthy Boundaries Teens need structure even when they fight it. #6 – Open Communication Talk, but more importantly, listen . Remind them you are always there for them, no matter what. #5 – Be the Example They're watching you. Model healthy habits. Remember: they are sponges. #4 – Educate Them on Substances Knowledge is power. Educate them. Never assume they are using. Do your homework before assuming anything. #3 – Find Professional Support Therapists, counselors, and coaches are lifesavers—sometimes more literal than you know. #2 – Build Trust Trust is the bridge to change. Build it brick by brick, no matter how long it takes. It is worth it when you see them cross it. #1 – Parenting Energy The single biggest factor is you . The more love, energy, and effort you pour into your teen, the better the outcome. Parenting isn't passive—it's an active  mission. Conclusion Understanding whether you have a Toxic Teen or an Afflicted Adolescent is key to guiding them through their struggles. Whatever the case, don't lose hope—you've got this, and they need you more than you know. Keep checking back in because we're dropping fresh blogs every Monday! Whether you're into our full-length Guiding Teenagers  blogs, quick and snappy Mashup  posts, or our brand-new Adult Swim  blogs (for young adults and adults), there's something here for everyone. Love it? Share it!  (links below the written date/references!) Make sure they know where it came from 👌 #GuidingTeenagers #CurlyStacheBlogs #BloomingThoughts Take me back to more blog articles !  ✒️ Take me home  🏠 Back to the top  ⬆️ Originally Written on: January 27, 2025

written by: Jacasa Currie editing and proofreading by: Daniel Currie As adults, we know that our relationships, friendships, and connections are in a constant state of growing, dissipating, and changing. This can be a hard concept for our teens to understand. Especially when it comes to the loss of those connections. Try to think back to when you were in school. You most likely, unless you moved around, grew up with the same group of kids. Your friends were mostly your friends. Occasionally, there were new people introduced, or one or two people changed. But it is hard to realize that there are more people in the world than just those that go to your own school. It is also equally hard to understand when those connections need to be severed for the teen's own well-being. Table of Contents ► Know the Signs ► My teen has a friend like this... What now? ► Do not write off their friend. ► But what if this friend is seriously causing problems, like getting them involved in dangerous behaviors or thought patterns? ► Be a role model for your teen. ► The Wrap-Up As a parent, it can be tricky to try to let them know who they should or shouldn't be spending time with. A parent's job isn't to control but to guide. So, the big question is: how? Know the Signs Let's first take a look at what it means for someone to be toxic. This seems like a mean term, but it is the best way I can ensure we are clear that this message gets across. It is someone who brings more negative than positive to your life. Or maybe they just bring you down, and you are tired of that feeling. Now, we will break down the most common traits/actions of toxic people: 1) Manipulative Behavior They use others for their own advantage. Example in a teen: Pretending to befriend someone because they intend to copy their homework. Then, when they don't need their help anymore, they start to ignore them. 2) Lack of Empathy When faced with others' issues, they tend to show little regard for others' feelings; instead, they turn things around to be about them. Example in a teen: When a friend is upset about a breakup, they respond with, "You think that's bad? My life is way worse," instead of offering support. 3) Constant Negativity This person will radiate negativity; they will approach most, if not all, situations with a pessimistic attitude. Example in a teen: No matter what happens, they find something bad to say: If a friend gets an award, they say, "It's probably not even a big deal," or if plans are made, they assume, "it's going to suck anyway." 4) Criticism and Judgement They often put others down, diminish their accomplishment, and make others feel inadequate. Example in a teen: They may mock their friend's clothing, interests, or achievements, making snide comments like, "You actually think you're good at that? That's embarrassing." 5) Controlling Tendencies They often micromanage or try to control the thoughts and/or actions of others in order to achieve personal benefit. Example in a teen: Telling their friends who they can or can't hang out with, demanding loyalty, and getting angry if someone talks to people they don't approve of. 6) Shifting of Blame They never take responsibility for their actions and blame others when things go wrong. Example in a teen: If they were to get in trouble at school for talking in class, they immediately say, "It's not my fault. They were the ones distracting me." 7) Exploitation Using others' kindness or weaknesses for their own benefit. Example in a teen: They guilt-trip a friend into always paying for their food saying, "You have more money than me, it's no big deal," without ever repaying or showing gratitude.   My teen has a friend like this… what now? So, now that we have a little better understanding of how this could look. Let's say you've noticed that a teen has a friend who is displaying one or multiple of these behaviors. What should you do? The first thing you should do is to sit down and have a calm conversation. Mention what you have been noticing that their friend seems to be displaying some concerning behaviors. Then, point out specific examples of what you have been noticing. As much as you would love to say I want you to stop spending time with this person, it is best to avoid that. Why, you might ask? Think about when you were a teen. Do you think that you would respond well to that? Probably not. Essentially, you will just push your teen to continue spending time with them, and possibly even more time if they feel spiteful. You have to remember this connection feels super important to them right now. Instead of pushing them that way, calmly explain that you are concerned that this could be affecting them negatively. Then, ask them if they have noticed the same things. If they have, encourage them to have a conversation with their friend. The friend's response determines whether or not they should continue or walk away. Sometimes, we do things naturally and do not realize we are doing them. When things get pointed out, we are able to notice and correct our behaviors. This is the best-case scenario. If the response is more negative, the next suggestion should be to distance themselves, at least for a little while. This allows your teen to give their friend space to rethink their actions and possibly right them. If not, it allows them to see their true colors and hopefully make the choice to walk away. Overall, you want to be more of a listener than an advice giver. The suggestions above are great ways to guide without overdoing it. When your teen sees that you have their best interest in mind instead of just controlling things, it helps to build that positive relationship and fosters open communication. Your teen will feel more comfortable coming to you in the future for guidance. You also have to decipher when they need someone to just listen to them. After their conversation with their friend, they may come to you to update you on the situation. Always remind them that you are there for them and just listen until they ask for your assistance. Do not write off their friend. What exactly do I mean by this? Essentially, do not hold grudges, at least not to your teen's knowledge. When your teen goes about this conversation, they may decide to walk away and have some negative things to say about said friend, but later, rekindle their relationship. It is hard not to remember all the hurt they may have gone through the first time around, and you shouldn't forget. Keep it filed away, but do not show your grudge to your teen. If you do end up saying well, I really do not like this friend because they did x, y, and z, you are breaking that line of trust you had built, and your teen will feel as though they shouldn't come to you because you will always hold a personal grudge. Instead, inquire about the rekindled friendship. Ask them how they ended up fixing things and if they feel they are sincere about their apologies if any occurred. Tell them that you trust their judgment but just to be wary until they have fully proven themselves and that you will always support their decisions. But what if this friend is seriously causing problems, like getting them involved in dangerous behaviors or thought patterns? It is important to remember that while a parent's job is to guide, it is also to protect. If you sincerely feel as though they are negatively impacting your teen, then you should communicate that to your teen. Be honest about your feelings and concerns. Suggest that they come over to your house, where it is a little easier to monitor their activities. Keep a closer eye on them. We have to teach our teens that everyone has choices and that choices have consequences. It is important to remember that they are not you. They have their own thoughts, feelings, and choices. I am not saying to just let them do things, but open communication and a little breathing room go a long way. The more you honestly and openly communicate with your teen, the more likely they will be to reciprocate. Be a role model for your teen. Possibly the most important aspect is to show examples to your teen of what it means to search out the most positive connections out in the world. This can be shown through your own relationship because as much as a parent doesn't want it to happen, teens will begin dating. This could also be shown in your own friendships. If you have ever had to decide that maybe someone wasn't a positive friendship and you had to walk away, use that as an example in conversation. Being able to relate to your teen will help them understand that you might just know what you are talking about and help them get to know you better as a person.  The Wrap-Up In the end, guiding your teen through friendships—both healthy and toxic—is about maintaining open communication, trust, and support. Instead of controlling their choices, provide them with the tools to recognize unhealthy behaviors and make informed decisions on their own. Be a listener, a role model, and a source of encouragement. Friendships will come and go, and while it's hard to watch your teen struggle, allowing them the space to learn and grow will ultimately help them build stronger, healthier relationships in the future. Your guidance, patience, and understanding will make all the difference in helping them navigate these important social dynamics. Love it? Share it!  (links below the written date/references!) Make sure they know where it came from 👌 #GuidingTeenagers #CurlyStacheBlogs #BloomingThoughts Take me back to more blog articles !  ✒️ Take me home  🏠 Back to the top  ⬆️ Originally Written on: February 3, 2025

written by: Daniel Currie editing and proofreading by: Jacasa Currie Returning to my roots, I wanted to learn another random, fun, odd word. Google to the rescue again. I asked it to spit me back a random word. First word: Yankee. NOPE. Second try: Attachment. Eh, no. Third time a charm? Simp. YES! What the hell is simp exactly, and how does it pertain to teen mental health and relationships? If you look it up, the classic definition of "SIMP" (Oxford Dictionary) is just "a silly or foolish person." But in today's slang, it refers to someone who goes overboard trying to impress, please, or win over someone—usually romantically—while getting nothing in return. Simping is often tied to self-esteem, a crucial factor in teen mental health. The Reality of Simping in Teen Relationships Let's be real: you probably know a simp . Maybe it's the guy who throws his dignity out the window for a girl who barely acknowledges him. Perhaps it's the girl who bends over backward for a guy who puts in little to no effort. Back in the late '90s, we didn't use the term simp , but I was the definition of one. Looking back, I now realize how deeply this affected my mental health as a teen. My Story: How I Became a Simp I remember asking this gorgeous girl I had a crush on if she'd go out with me a week or two before Valentine's Day. A friend of hers told me she thought I was cute, and that tiny glimmer of hope was all I needed. I had always secretly admired her. She was out of my league, or at least I thought so. That's why I never made a move—until now. Nervously, I asked her out, my heart pounding and my palms sweating. Was this a setup? Was I about to be humiliated? But then, the impossible happened. She said YES. From Cloud Nine to Cupid's Fool For the next week leading up to Valentine's Day, I was the happiest guy on Earth —and the biggest simp. I showered her with love notes, compliments, phone calls—anything to make her feel special. She held my hand in the hallway between classes. She even kissed me once or twice. I was completely, hopelessly in love . And I was completely, hopelessly blind . Not even Cupid himself could bring me down. But Valentine's Day was about to change everything. The Ultimate Simp Move At the time, I was saving up for an authentic Brett Favre jersey  (yes, I'm a lifelong Green Bay Packers fan!). But in my mind, this girl was worth far more than any green and gold jersey. Like a fool, I took my hard-earned allowance  and Christmas money  and spent it all on her. A Hallmark Valentine's card? Of course. A box of Belgium chocolates ? Absolutely. A sterling silver necklace  with a small heart pendant? No question. When I gave her the gifts, her eyes widened with excitement. She hugged me. She kissed me. Then she asked me to put the necklace on for her. The Moment That Defined My Simping As I clasped the necklace around her neck, I felt something I had never felt before: pure, unfiltered joy. I was convinced. This was love. But I wasn't done. I pulled out a dozen red roses —bought two days earlier to make sure they had them in stock. Her reaction? Priceless. She let out a high-pitched squeal, hugged me again, and whispered the three words I had been dying to hear: "I love you." In that moment, I felt on top of the world. She told me later that night over the phone how she could see herself growing old with me.  She promised she'd never leave me.  She swore she loved me. The Harsh Truth Hits Hard The next morning, everything changed. She met me at my locker, looking completely unfazed.  Without hesitation, she said, "I'm sorry, I don't think this relationship will work out. It's not you, it's me." Then she turned and walked away. I went from the highest high  to the lowest low  in mere seconds. At 13 years old, I had no idea what hit me. It felt like my heart had been ripped out, stomped on, and thrown into a fire. When the emotional dust settled, I finally realized: I had been played. Apparently, my now-ex had found out I had taken one of my girl-friends  (not girlfriend ) to the mall for Christmas shopping. She saw an opportunity. She knew I was an easy target —a walking, talking simp —and she timed her sweet nothings  perfectly. Valentine's Day came, she got her expensive gifts, and the next morning, I was discarded like I meant nothing. That day, I learned two hard truths: Blind love makes you vulnerable. Simping destroys self-respect. And when your self-respect crumbles, your mental health follows. Simping and Teen Mental Health: Why It Matters Here are a few pointers to help your teen avoid the challenges I faced. Teen mental health is deeply connected to self-respect and emotional resilience.  These insights aim to ensure your teen doesn't fall victim to manipulation or mistreatment simply for having strong feelings toward someone they care about or have a crush on. Critically, the biggest issue with simp culture is that it teaches teens that it's acceptable to put themselves last. When teens neglect their own well-being in favor of impressing others, it can damage their self-esteem and mental health. Studies show that teens with low self-worth are more likely to experience anxiety and depression. So make sure your teen knows to ask themselves before they simp over someone: Would they do the same for me? Am I respecting myself? Is this effort really worth my time? If the answer is "NO," then stop. Because self-respect is always more attractive than simping. 10 Ways Simping Can Harm Teen Mental Health You Lose Self-Respect It Creates One-Sided Relationships You Become Emotionally Drained People Will Take Advantage of You It Kills Your Confidence You Push Away Potential Partners It Delays Personal Growth You Normalize Toxic Behavior It Affects Friendships You Deserve Better FAQ: Simping & Teen Mental Health Q: How does simping impact teen mental health? A:  Simping can severely damage self-esteem, increase anxiety, and lead to emotional exhaustion. When teens prioritize others over themselves, they often develop feelings of unworthiness  and depression . Q: Is caring about someone the same as simping? A:  No. Caring is mutual. Simping is one-sided.  In a healthy relationship, both people put in effort. In simping, only one person does—and their mental health suffers as a result. Q: What are the long-term effects of simping on mental health? A:  Chronic simping can lead to low self-esteem, codependency, and a pattern of toxic relationships.  It can also contribute to anxiety and depression , especially if someone constantly feels unappreciated or used. Q: How can teens stop simping and build confidence? A:  Teach them to: Set healthy boundaries Value self-respect over validation Recognize red flags in relationships Focus on self-improvement  before seeking love. Final Thoughts Until the next time, remember teen mental health starts with self-respect. Don't simp. Stand tall. Stay tuned! In Guiding Teenagers' next blog, written by Jacasa, she dives into today's brave new world of AI and its impacts on teens! You won't want to miss it! Love it? Share it!  (links below the written date/references!) Make sure they know where it came from 👌 #GuidingTeenagers #CurlyStacheBlogs #BloomingThoughts Take me back to more blog articles !  ✒️ Take me home  🏠 Back to the top  ⬆️ Originally Written on: March 24, 2025 References M ayo Cli nic - Teen mental health & self-esteem Psychology Today - Unhealthy relationships & emotional dependence National Institute of Mental Health - Self-worth & mental health American Psychological Association - Effects of toxic relationships

written by: Daniel Currie Guiding Teenagers Bite-Size 3-minute Blogs, best known as GT Mashups No fancy formats. Opinionated. Based On Facts. Controversial? Sure. Agree or disagree, it's a topic that demands attention. Let's dive into something that's causing quite a stir in middle schools today—vaping. My stance is clear: vaping is wrong, unhealthy, and dangerous . But as a parent, addressing it can be a bit like walking a tightrope. So, let's get into it, shall we? It started innocently enough with my son, a bright-eyed eighth grader who's always been more into video games and soccer than anything else. But then, I noticed a shift. A sweet, odd smell frequently covered him when I picked him up, whether at school, a friend's house, or sometimes even practice. The icing on the cake—besides all the obvious signs that leave all parents in denial, crying, "Not my child!"? It was his vape, which he left out carelessly in the water bottle pouch of his book bag. I nearly blew a gasket. "Dad, it's no big deal," he shrugged, trying to brush it off like it was nothing, trying desperately to play it off cool but to no avail. This was clearly a black-and-white problem; there was no room for gray. After all, this isn't a dirty sock left on the floor—we're talking about his health here. Vaping might seem like a harmless trend, but it's far from it. According to the CDC, e-cigarettes contain harmful substances like nicotine, heavy metals, and volatile organic compounds. These can seriously mess up a young, developing body. My not-so-little boy, and perhaps even a few of you, may think I overreacted, but let's not kid ourselves; middle schoolers are impressionable. They see older teenagers, peers, and even adults, their role models, vaping, and they begin to think it's cool or a way to fit in. As his dad, my job is to cut through that BS with facts. "Look, buddy," I said, "I get that it might seem harmless, but it's not. This stuff can hurt you in ways unimaginable if you give it time." And here's where I got authoritative but empathetic. He desperately needs to know I'm on his side, even when I'm putting my foot down. We've all been there, trying to navigate parenthood with a mix of support and tough love. Remember the days when you were in school? The peer pressure, the need to belong? It's no different now, but the stakes are even higher now with new products that we may not have had growing up, such as vaping. The National Institute on Drug Abuse reports that nearly 30% of teens use some form of vaping device . That's a scary-ass stat! What's a dad to do? You talk, you listen, and you set boundaries. "I'm not here to make your life miserable," I told him. "I'm here to keep you safe." It's about striking that balance—being there without mollycoddling . He needs to learn to make smart choices on his own, but with the knowledge that I'm always here to guide him. When I confronted my son about vaping, it wasn't about punishing him. It was about educating him. We sat down, looked up facts together, and talked about the real dangers. Did he roll his eyes? Probably. Did he hear me? I think so. And sometimes, that's enough. Parents, it's time to step up. Stay informed, stay involved, and don't shy away from these tough conversations. Your kids might not thank you now, but one day, they'll get it—much like you did. Vaping isn't just a phase; it's a health risk. And as the adults in their lives, we've got to lead by example and with firm, supportive guidance. So here's my takeaway: Be there for your kids. Understand their world, but don't be afraid to set the rules. Educate them, support them, and be the rock they need. Vaping in middle school is a real issue, but with open communication and a bit of tough love, we can help our kids navigate these choppy waters safely. I hope you enjoyed Vaping in Middle School! Until next time, check out other Mashups ! Love it? Share it!  (links below the written date/references!) Make sure they know where it came from 👌 #GuidingTeenagers #CurlyStacheBlogs #BloomingThoughts Take me back to more blog articles !  ✒️ Take me home  🏠 Back to the top  ⬆️ Originally Written on: June 12, 2024 References CDC: Smoking and Tobacco use, E-Cigarettes (Vapes) https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/e-cigarettes/index.html CDC: Smoking and Tobacco use, E-Cigarette Use Among Youth https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/e-cigarettes/youth.html American Cancer Society, What Do We Know About E-cigarettes? https://www.cancer.org/cancer/risk-prevention/tobacco/e-cigarettes-vaping/what-do-we-know-about-e-cigarettes.html What We Know About Electronic Cigarettes https://smokefree.gov/quit-smoking/ecigs-menthol-dip/ecigs

written by: Daniel Currie editing and proofreading reviewed by: Jacasa Currie Guiding Teenagers Bite-Size 4-minute Blogs, best known as GT Mashups No fancy formats. Opinionated. Based On Facts. I've talked about my daughter quite a few times over the dozens of blogs; she is a spitfire that I adore for everything she has become and so much more. She is passionate, fiery, stubborn, and fun. She shares her dad's horrible immatureness and bad sense of humor that many may despise and find vulgar. She is her father's daughter through and through. We have a relationship like many fiery daughters and immature fathers. We love each other without showing a lot of affection, but conversely, we have this unbreakable bond that nobody could ever break, let alone try to understand. Some may even dare to say it's complicated. It's not complicated to us. The only thing that can be complicated is the amount of slack I give her. No, I'm not talking about how long of a leash I give her regarding our relationship, and how she (well, we) behave, or our feelings towards each other, or whatnot. I'm talking about my little girl growing up while this dad starts to watch from the sideline. Sometimes, it's soul-crushing to know I'm no longer as important as I may have once been. Even then, it's very rewarding to know she is walking her own path, independent and uncompromising , not following in anybody's shoes, not even mine. How is a father supposed to let go? I know I must let her grow and mature on her own, but there is no way in hell I am just "letting go." This father will not sit by and let her go unguided and undisciplined . I love my little girl too much to see her potentially slip down a rabbit's hole when I could be there for her as I always have. While weighing my options, another somewhat obvious thought crossed my mind: Should I lay down the law and instill a slew of rules to better protect her? After all, she's just going into high school, and there is so much that can happen. She may not be ready for all that's to come, and she could use some rigid rules for guidance. On one hand, it felt too hot, and on the other, it felt too cold. I needed "just right." I didn't want to be totally transparent, where she could do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, like I wasn't even there and didn't care. Permissive parenting , or neglectful parenting, is not something I'm into; I just could never see myself not having that unique bond anymore, guiding her in her times of need. Chewing the thought around some more, I realized I certainly did not want to be this massive stone wall, either, locking her in a jail cell of rules. How are teens really supposed to learn without falling here and there? After all, that's what a dad is supposed to do! Help them back up from their fall, dust them off, and tell them to keep trying. I've always felt this solid, stone-wall approach is not necessarily the correct way, either. The problem with too many rules is that teens are much more likely to rebel since they are not fully mature yet. Regardless of how good intentions may be, until the teen sees that, the reason does not matter; it takes maturing. In contrast, by pampering them (putting it bluntly), whether by helicopter parenting or by having too many lenient house rules, they may stumble when they reach adulthood and face "real-life" rules, as all of us adults know! I came to the realization translucent parenting is critical. I needed to be there, to guide and help her—but crucially, I needed to let her live her life. I felt it was vital for her to know I was there for her no matter the rhyme or reason, yet I refused to obstruct her views and goals in life. There was no way in hell I wanted to prevent my little girl from fully blooming into a beautiful woman full of life and personality. I refused to hinder her development or slow her down; she is too good for that, and I love her for WHO SHE IS, not who others want her to be. Not only did I want her to know that her dreams and passions were always within reach and that she could achieve them, but I also needed her to know that I was THERE for her—not transparent or uninvolved, but always there for her, no matter what. Furthermore, she must understand that I am not that impenetrable stone wall either, where she feels her dad had become this dictator, stating, "It's for your best," not allowing her much independent decision-making, originality, and individualism. My little girl needs to understand I am there when it's needed—when she needs Dad to help her back up, to dust her off, and to tell her, "It's alright, let's try again." In this translucent style, I'm only there when she starts to veer too close to the edge, guiding her and keeping her on the straight and narrow. That Goldilocks zone is known as being a translucent parent. Translucent parenting means allowing your teens to flourish independently as you foster their growth. Allowing them to learn from their mistakes based on the morals and beliefs you've instilled in them from a young age. It isn't about turning a blind eye or crossing your fingers, hoping for the best. In contrast, it isn't about controlling and clearing the path for them. It's about relinquishing control in a very smooth, fluid method so that when they become young adults and are on their own, they don't even realize you are there anymore. Here's the bottom line: Be mindful that in order for your teens to mature properly, they must have guidance. Guidance does not mean being careless or rigid. It means helping your teen to achieve their dreams while keeping them on the straight and narrow. It's allowing your teen to experience the world, discover their likes and dislikes, realize their passions, and be comfortable without judgment. Love it? Share it!  (links below the written date/references!) Make sure they know where it came from 👌 #GuidingTeenagers #CurlyStacheBlogs #BloomingThoughts Take me back to more blog articles !  ✒️ Take me home  🏠 Back to the top  ⬆️ Originally Written on: July 6, 2024

written by: Jacasa Currie editing and proofreading by: Daniel Currie While I was in college studying Early Childhood Education for my associate degree, I took a child development. In this class, I learned about attachment theory. This fascinated me, among other things I learned. There are 4 types of attachment that are originally formed as babies but continue to develop throughout childhood. The good news is you can change parenting behaviors to curb this. The four types of attachments are secure, anxious, avoidant-dismissive, and disorganized. Let’s go through the characteristics and how it can affect adult relationships/adult lives. Table of Contents ► Understanding Attachment Theory: Secure ► Understanding Attachment Theory: Anxious ► Understanding Attachment Theory: Avoidant-dismissive ► Understanding Attachment Theory: Disorganized ► To Achieve Successful Attachments: Secure ► To Achieve Successful Attachments: Anxious ► To Achieve Successful Attachments: Avoidant-dismissive ► To Achieve Successful Attachments: Disorganized ► Conclusion Understanding Attachment Theory: Secure Often times these children feel they are safe and supported by caregivers. This is the type of parent that is strived for. As babies, these children become upset when caregivers leave, but then are comforted when they return, and their caregiver’s presence calms them. In adult relationships they are more likely to maintain healthy relationships. Understanding Attachment Theory: Anxious This is also known as preoccupied attachment or anxious-ambivalent attachment. This is a form of insecure attachment. This happens when the caregiver is inconsistent. The child typically isn’t sure when the caregiver will be emotionally and physically available to them. As babies, they are harder to comfort when crying. In adult relationships they are “needy” or “clingy” and often times not trusting. They become worried that their partner will leave them and need constant reassurance. Understanding Attachment Theory: Avoidant-dismissive This type of person is usually seen as a loner. They are more likely to not delve into emotional conversations. In childhood they had experienced a lack of emotional support or connections. This child was provided with the psychical needs but not emotional comfort, therefore they learn to rely on others for their emotional needs. In adult relationships they are self-reliant and emotionally guarded. They are unlikely to seek emotional comfort or understand how to comfort their partner. Understanding Attachment Theory: Disorganized This is also known as fearful-avoidant attachment. This is the most extreme and least common attachment style. These individuals usually act irrationally, are unpredictable or intense in their relationships. This is formed from trauma/fear in childhood. They had an erratic or incoherent relationship with their primary caregiver. As adults they can develop mental health disorders and/or personality disorders. In adult relationships they experience unhealthy relationships where they crave close relationships but push others away once shown attention. Now let’s discuss how to use parenting to avoid/achieve these . To Achieve Successful Attachments: Secure Like mentioned earlier, this is the one that we are trying to achieve. Ways to do this is to be involved in their lives. It is important to be emotionally available to them whenever they need comforting. It is important to show up to various events in the child’s life so that they feel that presence and feel cared about. If there are babies in the picture it is important to comfort them when they are crying and upset, as hard as that can be at times. To Achieve Successful Attachments: Anxious To avoid this attachment style, it would be important to make yourself readily available to them emotionally. Although making sure they are provided for psychically is important, children need the emotional support just as much. Trying to keep an open line of communication is as always important as well. Just being there for the child is extremely important. To Achieve Successful Attachments: Avoidant-dismissive This one like the last one focuses mostly on the emotional aspect of things. For this one it is also important to create that close personal relationship with your child. Have daily conversations and even if you are not actually interested in what they are, still ask about it. Make sure they feel that they are important in your life. Always communicate with them to create that open line of communication. To Achieve Successful Attachments: Disorganized This one should be easy to avoid. However, sometimes we find ourselves in unsafe/abusive situations. In those situations, even if the person you are with is not hurting your child, they are witnessing you getting hurt whether it be mentally or physically or both, and that in turn hurts and effects them. It is important to get yourself out of those situations. If you are the one who is being unsafe/abusive then it is important to find immediate help for yourself. Even if that means you may have to distance yourself while you get better, this is still better for the child in the long run. If this has to happen, it is important to continue to communicate with your child (if possible). In Conclusion It may seem like some of this is extreme, but the little things that parents do every day affects their child. Sometimes there are things that we do that we don’t even realize we are doing such as telling the child to go play and not engaging in how their days were. Those little things will go a long way in ensuring their success and avoiding the negative attachment styles they could develop. — Jacasa Currie, AAS, ECE Love it? Share it!  (links below the written date/references!) Make sure they know where it came from 👌 #GuidingTeenagers #CurlyStacheBlogs #BloomingThoughts Take me back to more blog articles !  ✒️ Take me home  🏠 Back to the top  ⬆️ Originally Written on: July 10, 2024

written by: Jacasa Currie Hi everyone! Welcome back to those who have read any of my previous blogs. Welcome to first time readers! If you’ve been with me, you may know my story about my previous experiences in life. If not, I encourage you click here to read one of my previous blog posts in which explains what happened to inspire this current blog post.   What is a narcissist? Anyways, let’s get back to it. So, what exactly is a narcissist? A narcissist is defined as a person who is overly self-involved; and often vain and selfish. I know this is kind of vague. To get a better understanding I will go over what behaviors and signs will be displayed if you come across someone who may be a narcissist.     Signs of Narcissism - lack of empathy - need for admiration - willingness to exploit others - entitlement - not taking responsibility for own actions, instead always putting blame on others - refusing to admit to being wrong, even if they are presented with evidence that they are indeed wrong - downplaying other’s accomplishments - boasting about their accomplishments - unwarranted jealousy - turning every conversation into a conversation about themselves - asking for favors/help but not reciprocating when asked to give it - guilt tripping - difficulty working in team settings (ex: work/school groups) – refusal to listen to other’s ideas, dismissing other’s suggestions, insisting on doing most of work themselves - believing they deserve special treatment - overly critical of others   From this list it may seem as though it would be super easy to identify a narcissist. However, sometimes the signs are so subtle or stay hidden for a portion of time. In my own experience, I found that my ex-husband was very good at hiding it in the beginning. He did everything “right” until he convinced me that it would be a great idea to get married. He also made me feel like I wanted it and so I played along with the idea of getting married so early into a relationship. I also was 19, which means it was one of those typical “young and dumb” situations. He constantly showered me with compliments, attention, and gifts. After a high school relationship that had really broke my heart, I was so pleased to have found someone whom I thought truly loved me again. Of course, I also was graduated from high school, of course in college, but still I felt I was an adult and therefore it was a valid decision. Once we did get married, he instantly showed his true colors; it was all downhill from there.   Red Flags are like Stop Signs…STOP! We all know those things called red flags. It is super important not to ignore those red flags no matter how late in a friendship/relationship they show up. They are called red flags for a reason, red means stop. Now not every red flag is worthy of ending that friendship/relationship. Some are ones that may be resolved, but others, especially if there are multiple, are end worthy.   Step One to Address a Red Flag The first thing you should do if you come across a red flag is confide in someone about it, or even journal about it if you don’t feel comfortable telling someone. By telling someone else, they will be able to help you discern whether or not there is a real problem or whether it is just something that you are overreacting about. Sometimes we can look too much into things so that outside viewpoint helps to sort that out. The reason a journal is also a good option is because you can look back and see if that red flag is still occurring or whether it has resolved. You could also use a combination of both options.   Step Two to Address a Red Flag If you are bold enough you can skip the first mentioned step and skip right to this one. If not, the next step is to talk directly to your friend/boyfriend/girlfriend/partner. Simply say something like; “Hey, I really didn’t appreciate when you did this, it really hurt.”, or “I noticed that you do this/say this and I really would appreciate if you would stop.” This lets the person know what it is that they could be doing that they might not be aware they are doing. If they truly care about you, they will be willing to discuss why they do this, apologize, and either stop, or work on whatever it is that they need to in order to fix it. Narcissists are Master Manipulators If the person is a narcissist, they will somehow turn the problem back into something you did or blame you for the reason they do that. They will not sincerely apologize and certainly will not change their behaviors. Sometimes when blaming you, they can be a master at making you feel bad that you would even think that way. If this happens and you come across this type of response, it is vital that you do not ignore this behavior. This is no longer a red flag but a narcissist flag. I encourage you to get out of that situation as soon as possible. It is less important to end a friendship over this depending on the severity of the issue you are presenting the person with. But in an intimate relationship, it is 100% leave worthy. I can promise you that it will get worse over time.   Settling isn’t Worth Your Happiness You might be wondering why do people ignore red flags, or maybe why you yourself ignore red flags? Well, the answer is simple, we all just want to be loved. I know that in the past I ignored them because I thought well everything else is good, I can deal with this one thing I don’t like. But it is more than just something that you don’t like, it is a warning. Simply put, we settle for less than we deserve in order to find a life partner. Most of us are looking for someone to spend our lives with, maybe have a family with. Dating can be exhausting. Especially the older you get and the closer you get to that feeling that you are truly ready to settle down. We start to accept more and more wrongs in a relationship because it can feel like that window of time is closing on us.   The truth is, there is no set time to do things in life. We often look at others’ lives and want what they have. Sometimes that can be a successful marriage, children, even successful careers. Is it true that there is an average time in one’s life that those things happen, yes. However, everyone is different. Life is not a race. The more you try to quicken the process the more you will be willing to deal with in order to get there. At the end of the day, you end up deep down knowing you are unhappy, but at least you have someone. Now, what if you could have more? What if I told you the wait and pain of seeing others “succeed” before you will be worth it in the end? Well, I am here to tell you that it is.   We all only live this life once. We get one shot to make this life the best it can be. Well, when you look back on your life, are you going to be able to say that you were truly happy? That you were able to feel alive rather than just living? If the answer is no, then you should take a deeper look into why that is and start making changes. These changes might be extremely difficult, but the end result is your own happiness and living a fulfilling life!   How to Leave a Narcissist: Friendship If you are at the point where you realize that you need to end a friendship/relationship due to their narcissism, there are a few ways to do so. If the relationship is a friendship, there are two options. Option one: slowly distance yourself over time until you completely stop communicating. Option two: have a conversation with said person about why you need to take a step back from the friendship. I should warn you that this conversation will more than likely not be an easy conversation. The person will more than likely blame everything on you and make you feel guilty. But stand your ground and stand by your decision. You can even offer an opportunity for redemption in the future but be stern on a break from friendship for the current moment.   How to Leave a Narcissist: Intimate Relationship If the relationship is an intimate relationship, this can become trickier as there are more complex feelings involved in an intimate relationship. My best advice is to just rip the Band-Aid off. There isn’t going to be any easy way to go about it. Of course this should be something talked about in person, unless there is a special circumstance that makes this a bad option. For example, an abusive partner, or the conversation happening to come up in text and there is no way around it.   The best place to have this conversation is in a public place. This ensures that you can just leave if you need to and that their behavior is limited to the societal norms of behavior in a public space. Of course, there is that possibility that they still could display explosive behavior, but your chances of this are certainly lower in a public space. Always try to stay as calm as possible in the conversation, as hard as that may be. If the person starts to become explosive, the best thing to do is to physically walk away. You can even tell them that you understand why they are upset but that you need to walk away from the situation to give them the space to process. This shows that you are empathetic and also confirming that it truly is over by letting them know they should also leave to process things.   If after the conversation the person reaches out to you, which they more than likely will, you have a few choices here. You can remind them that your decision is final and that you are sorry they are hurting. You can also choose to block them. A narcissist will beg for you but also when they do not get their way will try their best to knock you down. Sometimes it is best just to block them so that you can sever the ties completely and try to heal.   How to Start the Conversation My suggestion is to point out to them that you have been unhappy and why you are unhappy. That after waiting for change, you’ve realized that they are not willing to make the changes in the relationship needed for you to stay. Therefore, you have decided that it is best to break things off. You can also throw in that this may not be what they think is best, but that you know it is what is best for yourself. Be very specific in your reasoning for why you are leaving. This can help you remind yourself mid conversation that you are indeed doing the right thing. This also brings things to their attention with the hope that they can fix this for when they choose to try again in a new relationship.   Leaving a Narcissist: My Experience My ex-husband was excellent at making me feel trapped. His manipulation tactic, as many of you know who have read previously, was threatening suicide. He used guilt to make me stay. I cannot count on my two hands the number of times I tried to leave. But a few things kept me from doing so. Of course, he would either swallow pills right in front of me, or simply just threaten that he would kill himself if I left. One specific time that I tried to leave he opened our apartment door, and said “Leave if you want to the door is open. But know that if you do, I will take my car and run it at full speed into a tree, or just straight off a cliff.” I felt so conflicted. If I followed through with leaving, there was that chance that he would do it, he already had tried to commit suicide in front of me. In that instance I would feel as though his blood was on my hands. But there was a chance that he was just saying anything he could to get me to stay. I was not willing to take that chance then.   I was never strong enough to walk away from him myself. Because when you are with someone who is mentally/physically abusive, something within you changes. You start to believe the things they say, you start to believe that this is all you deserve. You are stuck in this loop of wanting to leave but being convinced you can’t so therefore you just sort of settle.   The last time he ended things with me. He claimed that I was too back and forth for him and that he couldn’t handle me anymore. I came to realize years later that this was not true and that if I was this way, it was because of the time spent being toyed with. Anyways, he said he wanted a divorce for good. I was flabbergasted. In my head, things had been fine, we hadn’t been fighting as much and we were, I thought, overall happy. But clearly, I was wrong. So, after about a week, I left Ohio for the last time back to New York. I was so distraught that I had to have my parents meet me halfway. I will never forget what my mom told me later about how I looked. She said it looked as though I hadn’t slept in a very long time, and that if she didn’t know me better, she would think I was on drugs. I was unable to hold a conversation, unable to focus. My hair was matted where my hair extensions has grown out and I had stopped brushing my hair. I was a total mess. It did not take long for him to try to get me back. Less than a week later. He had texted me telling me how sorry he was and that he wanted me back. I had to fight hard to not give in. But I stood by that I was not going to go back. I knew that this cycle would be a never ending one and that I couldn’t do it anymore. Because he could pretty readily always get me back in the past, his tone changed almost immediately once I denied him that chance. He actually at one point told me that he wished I was aborted. Which if you know of my birth story, you will understand why this comment would cut like a knife. He also proceeded to tell me that no one will ever love me because I am too crazy. That comment still sticks with me to this day and I still feel scared of this possibility.   So how did I get through it? I also had to deal with a divorce. This meant that I couldn’t exactly block him because I had to push him to keep things going. He dragged his feet for about a year, until finally it was all over. But throughout that whole time, he still tried, over and over. I confided in my family and friends on what had truly been happening behind closed doors. It feels shameful to talk about. But I did it. Once it all came out, those around me were extremely supportive of me and helped me to stay strong and not give up on myself. Along with leaning on others, I also printed out words of encouragement and taped them to the walls of my bedroom and read them daily, sometimes multiple times a day. They had said things like; you deserve better, you don’t need him, you can do this, etc.   My Hope for You I hope that if you are in a relationship with a narcissist that nothing ever goes how things went for me. But the reason I rambled on about what happened to me, is to show a glimpse of how life could be for you if you choose to stay. Obviously, everyone is different, and you could have a much easier experience with someone, and your relationship may seem okay. But it will get worse over time. That is why it is imperative to leave as soon as possible. Do not ignore the red flags. The consequences of staying can be catastrophic. Change can be scary, especially if a divorce or children are involved. But it is important to remember that simple fact that we only live this life once. I want you to be able to look back on your life when your time on this earth is coming to an end and say you know what, I lived a good life filled with happiness. Life will always have its challenges but your partner in this life should not be one. Of course, every relationship has its ups and downs, but it should ultimately bring you happiness.   Life After Being with a Narcissist If you have been with a narcissist, especially for an extended period of time, I am not going to sugar coat things. Life won’t be easy. You will have to relearn how to love and accept love. Your views will change on love. Trust will not come easy. You may also find that you feel you do not want anyone for the fear you will go through another disaster. Know that it is okay to take your time. Process all that happened. If you are having a hard time processing, please consider therapy. It is not a sign of weakness to need help. We all need help sometimes. And it is also okay if you want to just move on with your life and find someone new. That first relationship after the narcissist will be the hardest one. But know that it will get better if you work at it. The right person will understand and help you navigate how you are feeling.   Overall, do not settle for less than you deserve. If it doesn’t make you overall happy, it’s time to either attempt to bring the issue to attention and fix it or leave. After my ex-husband, it took me years before I felt I even wanted to get married again. I used to be convinced that I would never marry again because I did not want to ever be trapped again. However, through therapy I was able to sort through my feelings and realize that I cannot compare everyone to him. Every person is their own person. I eventually realized that I do want to get married again someday. I am aware that the idea of marriage is becoming more and more less important. But to me, marriage is a sacred bond. Someone who is there for you throughout all life throws at you. I also still believe that marriage should mean forever. I came to realize that I do want marriage, children (which I have always wanted and never wavered from wanting), and to find someone to spend the rest of my life with.   A light at the End of the Tunnel Although I have been through so much in those times with my ex-husband. I have healed from it. Do I still have flashbacks sometimes? Of course. But overall, I have healed. With each relationship that I had post marriage, I was able to learn more about myself and what I am looking for. I even got to a point where I was engaged. It was a hard decision to end that engagement, but I am proud of myself for not ignoring my unhappiness and not choosing to settle for less than I deserve.   As most know, I am in a new relationship. This relationship is one that I feel confident is my last one. I truly feel as though I have found my soulmate. We actually communicate, both of us! If we ever have any issues that arise, we bring it to the other person’s attention and talk about it. After every little spat, we may have we always talk about it and grow from it. We genuinely enjoy each other’s company. We spend every moment we can together and as we have both been through horrible relationships, we can relate and understand when the other has a thought process that was formed from those past relationships. We are able to be there for each other and rely on each other. Most importantly, we love each other. It is obvious on both sides that it is genuine. That feeling of my feelings being 100% reciprocated and my efforts being 100% reciprocated is so foreign to me. It feels amazing.   Now instead of wondering if I am truly loved, having doubts, or being put down, I am cherished and loved for all parts of me, even the ugly ones. While reading books, listening to songs, or watching movies and shows that are about romance, you always think oh that kind of love does not really exist. Well, I can tell you that it does. Those books, songs, movies and shows were not created from nothing. I no longer open doors when we are together. Some may not appreciate this, but I do. He has me wait in the car while he comes around to open it for me. Every single time I go to work or am at college long enough to need a meal he makes my lunch, EVERY SINGLE TIME. In every lunch is also a post-it with a little love note for me. He writes me love letters, leaves love notes in my college notebooks, planners, and sometimes around the house to find when I come home from a long day. He is always reminding me how beautiful he thinks I am inside and out. We have date night every single Friday even if it is just staying in to watch movies and order take out pizza. The day after Thanksgiving it was time for me to decorate the house for Christmas. When the time came to put up the tree he was excited to do this with me along with listen to Christmas music in the process. And when we finished, he offered his hand to me to slow dance to the song “Halleluiah” when that came on. No longer am I expected to take care of everything around the house. He steps up and takes care of so much housework, virtually all of it actually. His reasoning is because he sees how hard I work between actual work and college and wants me to be able to focus on my studies. I could go on and on about the things he does for me, but that is not the point here.   The Point The point of that long ramble is to never give up looking for happiness. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Each person we come across is put in our lives for a reason, whether to stay and teach us how to be happy, or to teach us something about ourselves. If you are someone who has been with a narcissist, or have been in an abusive relationship, then let my story be hope that you too can find happiness. Don’t ever give up on yourself. Even if you choose that you would rather just go through life without being in another relationship do that. Do whatever it is that brings you happiness.   If you are someone who is currently with a narcissist. Please do yourself a favor and get out. I know it can be extremely hard to leave, but trust me, it is so worth it in the end. Stick with your decision and fight for yourself. No matter what happens, you can get through anything you put your mind to. I believe in you. And if you need extra help, I am always here for people who need someone to talk to. Or you can always get into therapy. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a huge advocate for therapy. I wouldn’t be here without it.   In Conclusion I know this was a very long read. I hope that you all made it this far. If you have, thank you so much for reading. If you chose not to continue well then, I guess you won’t see this. But, as always, I hope that my story and my advice can help at least one person who may be out there struggling. Life really knows how to kick you when you’re down sometimes. I hope I can be part of what helps to pick you back up, dust off the dirt and keep fighting. You are worth it! I will see you in the next blog post! - Jacasa Currie - Blooming Thoughts Blog Suicide Prevention Hotline 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Call 988 or Text 988 Or Visit: https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox   Domestic Violence Hotline Call 800-799-7233 or text BEGIN to 88788 Or Visit: https://www.thehotline.org/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=domestic_violence View this post over at Blooming Thoughts from Blogspot Love it? Share it!  (links below the written date/references!) Make sure they know where it came from 👌 #GuidingTeenagers #CurlyStacheBlogs #BloomingThoughts Take me back to more blog articles !  ✒️ Take me home  🏠 Back to the top  ⬆️ Originally Written on: December 9, 2024

written by: Daniel Currie editing and proofreading by: Jacasa Currie First, we would like to thank our loyal readers who have continued supporting Guiding Teenagers. We thank you whether you are a new reader, have been here since the beginning, or are somewhere in between. You are all so valuable to us, and we appreciate all of you. We are reaching out in Special Edition Blog to catch you up to speed since our last blog a few months back. Consider this GuidingTennager's State of the Union Message from us to our faithful readers and listeners. In this article, we'll discuss why we've been dark for the past four months and what is to come for GuidingTeenagers. That said, sit down, strap in, and get ready because here we go! Table of Contents ► GT Went Dark? ► Piercing The Veil ► Road to Recovery ► Looking Forward ► The Announcement ► State of The GuidingTeenagers Message: Conclusion GT Went Dark? In July and August 2024, unforeseen, unavoidable issues that greatly affected GuidingTeenagers began to surface. Certain aspects of our personal lives have begun changing drastically, significant to us and how we handle the website. This directly impacted the site and our ability to provide the quality information and attention to detail that you've come to expect in our GuidingTeenagers Blogs and Mashups. Many roadblocks caused us to step away from laptops and computers for a hot minute until we took care of ourselves and our families. These matters were enough for us to take a step back and reflect to ensure we were practicing what we preached. For example, we never thought we would find ourselves in certain situations, such as divorce. Piercing The Veil As extraneous as that can be on a family, teenagers, and many others, for our teens to have the best outcome and success, sometimes the parents need to step away after exhausting all avenues and be humble in admitting it is no longer healthy for each other—especially exposing teens to toxicity constantly. Additionally, when parents are no longer getting along, and there is no resolution in sight, even after genuinely trying and using all available resources, it is time to consider the devastating possibility that it wasn't meant to be. It is never a healthy environment when children or teens of any age witness arguments and observe no resolve between their parents. That being said, over time, it can become a toxic environment in which it is best for everybody that a divorce be the best course of action when there is no good alternative. When a relationship reaches that point, it is one of the few great anomalies where it may be necessary to separate for the benefit of everyone. By doing this, being humble, and perhaps even admitting defeat, everyone involved can continue their neverending pursuit of love, happiness, and inner peace. We allowed closure and forward-thinking by permitting one chapter of our lives to close so another, happier, less stress-filled chapter could begin. Road to Recovery Under no circumstance should a divorce or separation be considered unless absolutely necessary, and the benefits of separation are greater for all family members, not just the parents. Unfortunately, this was the case, and we have all begun moving on with our road to recovery. Moving on is not without its difficulties and monumental challenges. Everything from a simple daily routine to new towns, workforces, schools, and living arrangements gets jostled. Naturally, that is highly stressful and a tough transition mentally, emotionally, and physically for anyone. Hence, the decision to move forward with a divorce or separation should not be taken lightly; the consequences are devastating. Family dynamics change as well, sometimes for the good but many times for the bad, as bonds between the family break, new people come in, connections change, and the future feels very uncertain. This can be traumatic for children and teens, making it vital for the parents to handle their issues as civilly as possible and critically keep the children and teens out of their problems. Looking Forward With all of that said, there have been many reasons for a brief hiatus, but, as stated earlier, we wanted to ensure we practiced what we preached. We must reflect and contemplate our stance because of our strong moral values regarding this brand, GuidingTeenagers. Now it's time to look forward and reveal GuidingTeenagers' future. The last few blogs posted were back in mid-summer, and as most of you know, we welcomed Jacasa from Blooming Thoughts aboard. She has been a great addition to our team, offering a different, positive perspective with a wealth of knowledge and education to back it. Although Jacasa does not have children of her own, she has a wealth of experience working with children as a teacher's aide and various field experiences during college. Additionally, she is three semesters away from her bachelor's degree in childhood education, with the ambition and dream of becoming an elementary teacher. Her education and first-hand experience grant her the expertise she uses to write blogs for both us and her personal blog, Blooming Thoughts . As mentioned, this is a State of the GT Message. What good is a State of the Union-type message without an announcement? This directly affects our blog, so we felt it important to tell you all. Writing this blog has allowed us to get to know each other in ways we never imagined. Although this may be hard to understand for some readers who have been with us since Jacasa's debut (and even before), we cannot go any longer without this coming to your attention. The Announcement Going forward, both of us will still be running GuidingTeenagers; nothing is changing in that regard. The key difference is that we are no longer co-bloggers writing in parallel but now as a blogging couple with a strong sense of duty and passion in raising teens. Overall, it will not change much for most of you personally, and you may not notice anything different. Jacasa, known for her blogs at Blooming Thoughts , and Dan, known for his blogs on this site and formerly CurlyStache Blogs, originally joined forces as guest bloggers for each other's blogs. We discovered our morals and outlooks on life aligned perfectly and began working more closely. We then found it best to become business partners, running GuidingTeenagers in tandem. We continued to work closely and found we were becoming more than business partners. Our philosophies, ethics, passions, and beliefs were unmistakably in sync. This led us to explore what else there could be besides blogging, one of the many hobbies that we share. With that, we took a leap of faith and began a journey together as a couple, embracing life as one. For some of our readers who know us personally, we understand the difficulty of the change. We only ask for your respect in our decision, which has brought us great peace and happiness. State of The GuidingTeenagers Message: Conclusion We look forward to this new chapter in our lives together, continuing to build and contribute to the GuidingTeenagers community with your help! We look forward to a new season, Season 5, officially in January 2025. We will kick off an all-new season filled with exciting content and podcasts, including full-length blogs, our hit Mashups, and a few series blogs. Stay tuned for the latest! Subscribe for email notifications on our newest blog posts. Follow us on Facebook, X (formerly Twitter), TikTok, and Instagram for the latest news, memes, Dad jokes, and, of course, when we drop our newest blogs! See you all next month! Truly, Dan & Jacasa Love it? Share it!  (links below the written date/references!) Make sure they know where it came from 👌 #GuidingTeenagers #CurlyStacheBlogs #BloomingThoughts Take me back to more blog articles !  ✒️ Take me home  🏠 Back to the top  ⬆️ Originally Written on: December 9, 2024

written by: Daniel Currie editing, proofreading, and accuracy reviewed by: Jacasa Currie Supporting Gay Teens, Part I of the Series: In honor of Pride Month, we are dedicating a special two-part series to support teens who are gay or feel trapped in their own bodies. In this part, we will focus on acceptance. It can be challenging to understand and support a teenager's "decision" to be gay, especially if you come from a more traditional upbringing. It's important to note that the word "decision" is in quotes because when your teen is honest about their desires and emotions, it isn't a decision but their raw, natural, inherent feelings. Let's dive a little deeper, shall we? Table of Contents ► Drawing Parallels: Uncontrollable Feelings ● Understand: Uncontrollable ● Understand: The Teen's Core ● Empathy and Support ► The Social Teen Impact: Embracing Same-Sex Attraction       ● Fear of Social Rejection       ● Worrying About the Future ► Building a Positive Home Environment       ● Open and Honest Communication       ● Inclusive Family Activities       ● Professional Support ► Conclusion Drawing Parallels: Uncontrollable Feelings In approaching our teen's feelings for the same sex, regardless of how we feel, we should always keep an open mind for their sake. An excellent way to help with this is by drawing parallels to other uncontrollable conditions like ADHD, stress, anxiety, and depression. These conditions, much like sexual orientation, cannot simply be controlled or changed at will. Let's explore this a bit more. Understand: Uncontrollable Just as someone who suffers from ADHD, stress, anxiety, or depression didn't ask for their condition and can't easily change it, our teen's sexual orientation is no different. It is not something they can control. It's an inherent part of who they are, not a choice. Understand: The Teen's Core Once we come to grips, understand, and accept the fact that being gay isn't just a life choice but a way of life —whether they want it or not—it will help us understand our teens better. Like a child with ADHD can't will themselves to focus, a gay teen can't change their orientation. This is who they are at their core; their raw, exposed, vulnerable, humble selves. Empathy and Support We should be proud and encourage our teens to wear their hearts on their sleeve, unafraid, courageous, and bold to be themselves in an uncertain world. When we see our teens waging war internally with their feelings, confused and scared, the best thing we can do for them is to be there for them and provide the support they need. Empathy and support will go a long way. The Social Teen Impact: Embracing Same-Sex Attraction As parents, it's natural to have concerns and fears when your teen comes out of the closet. Addressing these concerns openly and honestly can help forge understanding and build a stronger, supportive relationship. Fear of Social Rejection The most common concern is the fear of social rejection and discrimination when identifying as a gay individual. As a parent of a teen belonging to the gay community, worrying about their child's safety and well-being in an uncertain society can be utterly terrifying. There are ways to combat this unnerving and validated fear: Educate yourself and your teen about their rights and available resources. Encourage your teen to build a support network of friends and fellow members of the gay/LGBTQ+ community who understand and accept them. Create a strong foundation for your teen at home, helping them confidently navigate potential challenges. Worrying About the Future Parents often worry about their teen's future, fearing that the label of being gay might limit their opportunities or happiness. It's crucial to remember that being gay does not define your teen's potential for success or joy; how we respond to their orientation may. With the right guidance, support, and direction, our teens can lead fulfilling, successful lives. Focus on nurturing and enabling your teen's strengths and passions. Encourage them to pursue their dreams without fear and with confidence. By supporting your teen's ambitions and affirming their worth, you provide them with a platform to build a positive and resilient self-image. Building a Positive Home Environment Creating a loving and accepting home environment is critical for your teen's emotional health. Let's discuss some practical steps to ensure your home is a safe haven for your teen. Open and Honest Communication If you've ever read any of our Guiding Teenagers blogs, you know open, honest communication is key . Maintain and encourage open lines of communication with your teen. Urge them to express their thoughts openly and wholeheartedly without fear of judgment. Let them know that their opinions and experiences are valued and respected. By welcoming an atmosphere of openness, you can help your teen feel more safe, comfortable, and supported by the closest people in their lives—YOU! Inclusive Family Activities Engage in family activities that promote inclusivity and acceptance. Participate in events celebrating diversity, such as Pride parades or community gatherings. It's crucial to remember that this is for your teen. Being involved will mean more than you could imagine, reinforcing your teen's sense of belonging and demonstrating your commitment to their well-being. Professional Support There are times when seeking professional support can benefit both parents and teens. It shouldn't be the first thing that comes to mind, but consider connecting with a counselor or therapist who specializes in LGBTQ+ issues when challenges arise. Professional guidance can provide valuable insights and coping strategies for navigating this journey together. Therapy can also offer a safe space for your teen to express and explore their feelings, helping them gain confidence within their own skin. Conclusion Supporting a gay teen in a traditional family setting can be challenging but deeply rewarding. In honor of Pride Month, we focus on fostering understanding, acceptance, and love. By recognizing that sexual orientation, like other uncontrollable conditions, is inherent and not a choice, we can empathize with our teens. Address concerns about social rejection and the future by educating yourself, building a strong support network, and encouraging your teen to pursue their passions. Creating a loving home environment, maintaining open communication, engaging in activities together, and seeking professional support when needed are key. Acceptance and love are the most powerful tools to help your teen navigate their journey confidently and joyfully. Stick around for Part II, written by our newest member of the Guiding Teenagers crew, next Wednesday! Love it? Share it!  (links below the written date/references!) Make sure they know where it came from 👌 #GuidingTeenagers #CurlyStacheBlogs #BloomingThoughts Take me back to more blog articles !  ✒️ Take me home  🏠 Back to the top  ⬆️ Originally Written on: June 19, 2024 References Innerbody - Online Therapy Guide for LGBTQ+ https://www.innerbody.com/online-therapy-guide-for-lgbtq-youth PFLAG - Parents: Quick Tips for Supporting Your LGBTQ Kids-and YOURSELF-During the Coming-Out Process https://pflag.org/resource/parents-comingout/ The Trevor Project - LGBTQ+ Community Resources https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/category/community/ APA - Understanding sexual orientation and homosexuality https://www.apa.org/topics/lgbtq/orientation