While it seems like all other parents have it figured out, their children doing all their housework with a smile, I'm here to tell you it's a lie. Can you remember a time growing up you did all of your chores eagerly? No? I'm here to report that the times have NOT changed. So, how can we get our little ones to help while giving them a valuable lesson that it is essential to help, do your part, and have a sense of community? I give you a list of 10 ways to get your children to do their chores correctly.
1. Remember the perspective.
It's essential to remember how they feel and how their minds work. It is nothing that you don't already know; you were probably in the same shoes. They have school, extracurricular activities, and obligations. Their lives are also stressed, just on a juvenile level, by comparison. If you show compassion for this, results will improve.
2. Be reasonable.
Workload could be a reason a child may have difficulties completing their daily tasks. School, homework, after-school activities, etc., could amount to an 8 to 10-hour day (depending on age), much like an adult. Remember, critically, they have a growing mind, and they need some social time and rest. So sit down with your children and review a list of house chores; ensure they have ample time for their obligations and at least an hour for their passions.
3. Allowances.
Unfortunately, we live in a society so dead-set on greed that our children have it engrained even without us realizing it in many cases. If it is not money, it's a barter system or some other form of get-something-for-something; rarely is there a "no strings attached" for a "no particular reason" gift, unless they did something to deserve it, like chores. Embrace it. They do a household task or set tasks; then they receive a prize, money, a gift, or something gratifying, whether you would like to offer it as a thank you or a payday.
4. Keep it interesting.
If you have children change up the chores however frequently you choose. Daily, weekly, monthly, there is no wrong way. However, if you have an only child, feel free to divvy it up with other family members since they are most likely not doing every chore alone. Doing this will make your child more inclined to do them since they change or flip-flop, keeping it interesting, never the same, and not so vanilla.
5. Kids games.
Create a simple game to do a chore or set of duties that you can compete in. For instance, set a cup on your dinner table and shoot a wadded napkin or piece of paper into the cup at an agreed-upon distance. The first person to make the basket chooses the chore/chores they wish, while the remaining get split up amongst the rest, ensuring all children receive equal responsibilities. *Pro tip: you can do this by playing other games such as paper football, actual basketball (HORSE), and many other creative games!
6. More = More & Less = Less.
Undoubtedly, that equation makes sense, even at a very young age. Therefore, encourage more chores for age-appropriate rewards (examples: money, increased curfew, gratifying gifts, or other bonuses). Similarly, if less is done, let it be clear that your child will receive less of what they want. By doing this, you can teach them the value of how their efforts directly impact the quantity and quality of work.
7. Reverse the roles.
Give your child(ren) a bonus for a job well done. If they have done an exceptional job with their assigned duties over time, allow them to take charge of the chore list. Have them redistribute the chores as they see fit and permit them to give a few to you. By doing this, you show you recognize their responsibility and are willing to allow them to choose here and there, knowing that all the chores will be accomplished correctly and on time.
8. Atta boy/girl.
Children are hyper-emotional adults without life experiences. Therefore, if you constantly point out what is wrong, not done, or not done correctly, their kneejerk response will be a sense of failure and resentment that it is not good enough. When they hear the good ole' "Atta boy!" or "Atta girl!" and the "I'm proud of you, you did great!" the feeling is sublime. All they strive to do at that point is more of the same, thanks to the emotional high they just received.
9. Give me a solution to the problem.
Open a dialogue when your child cannot complete a chore or task by the due date/time; the sooner, the better. We live in a technologically capable world where it is no longer notes on a fridge, but now SMS messages, real-time iCals & Google calendars, etc., have your child utilize it! If they cannot accomplish a chore, something is preventing them from doing so, say mowing the lawn, have them notify you immediately of when it will be completed (as long as it is not a time-sensitive matter, of course) and why they could not do the job (i.e., raining). Doing this holds them to a higher standard to ensure it is a legitimate reason you would approve of.
10. Communication is key.
This one takes all parties involved and is the most critical. Talk. Listen. That's it. Sit down with your child occasionally and ask them how they feel about the chores and the workload. Naturally, they will probably say they hate it, but try navigating past that as best as possible to find their strengths, weaknesses, and preferences. Utilizing this tip will help you as a parent to make sure you can make it easier on them, giving you more chances for success in having them accomplish all the chores assigned to them.
By following these ten guidelines, you will have success in having your children help out around the house. I hope you find this valuable, and if you have any additional tips on what works or doesn't, I'd love to hear from you! Please subscribe to get notified of new posts!
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