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Discover 6 essential techniques to de-escalate teen anger, complete with expert advice, real-life applications, and unique homework to strengthen your bond. Six Techniques to Calm Your Angry Teen Effectively Enjoy the 3rd part of our GT Exclusive 4-part series on Teen Anger! Written By : Daniel Currie Published On : 2/26/2024 Navigating the turbulent waves of teenage anger isn't for the faint of heart. In our journey together, we've uncovered the roots of teen anger and armed ourselves with strategies for managing it, as discussed in our previous posts. Now, we delve into the art of de-escalation, a crucial skill in transforming potential conflict into an opportunity for understanding and growth. Missed the first 2 articles? No problem, catch up! Part I: Understanding Teen Anger: Roots, Mental Health, and Seeking Help Discover the root of teen anger, discern its ties to mental health, and learn when professional help is crucial. Empower your journey to understanding and action. Part II: Empowering Teens to Manage Anger: Strategies and Tools Dive deeper into practical strategies and tools that empower teens to manage their anger, fostering emotional resilience and self-awareness for a balanced life. Table of Contents ►Stay Calm ►Listen Actively ►Validate Their Feelings ►Use Calming Techniques Together ►Set Clear Boundaries ►Choose Your Battles ►Conclusion Blog Focus: Read Time: Behavior & Mental Health 6 minutes Relativity Rating: Adolecence What's this? #1 : Stay Calm The Technique in Detail : In the heat of the moment, your ability to remain calm is your strongest ally. It's about embodying the serenity you wish to see in your teen. Not only does this help defuse immediate tension, but it also teaches them by example how to handle their own emotions. Real-Life Application : Sarah, a parent I've worked closely with, shared a pivotal moment when she chose to respond with calmness to her son's outburst. This approach allowed the situation to de-escalate quickly, leading to a heartfelt conversation that wouldn't have been possible otherwise. Similarly, maintaining my composure when my teen's emotions were sky-high has paved the way for more open conversations and fewer screaming matches. Expert Quote : "The calmness of a parent is the cornerstone of de-escalation in family conflicts." - Dr. Laura Kastner, Clinical Psychologist (Find this in "Wise-Minded Parenting") Problem & Solution : Reacting emotionally can escalate the situation. The key is to model the calm behavior you want to see, providing a mirror for your teen's emotional regulation. Practicing mindfulness or deep breathing prepares you for these moments. Homework Assignment : The "Time-In Together" challenge. Next time tensions rise, choose to stay present with your teen in a shared space, engaging in silent solidarity for a few minutes. This act of non-verbal support speaks volumes. #2 : Listen Actively The Technique in Detail : Active listening involves fully engaging with your teen's words, emotions, and underlying messages. It means setting aside your own thoughts and judgments to truly hear them, showing that their feelings and perspectives are valued and essential. Real-Life Application : Mark, another parent I've had the pleasure of helping, transformed his relationship with his teenager by practicing active listening. Echoing his child's words made his teen feel seen and heard, significantly lowering the emotional temperature. Reflecting on my own interactions, adopting a stance of genuine curiosity about my teen's feelings has led to more meaningful exchanges and mutual respect. Expert Quote : "Listening is about being present, not just being quiet." - Kristin Wilson, MA, LPC (Find this in "The Gift of Listening") Problem & Solution : Reacting emotionally can escalate the situation. The key is to model the calm behavior you want to see, providing a mirror for your teen's emotional regulation. Practicing mindfulness or deep breathing prepares you for these moments. Homework Assignment : The "Time-In Together" challenge. Next time tensions rise, choose to stay present with your teen in a shared space, engaging in silent solidarity for a few minutes. This act of non-verbal support speaks volumes. #3 : Validate Their Feelings The Technique in Detail : Validation doesn't equate to agreement but acknowledges the teen's feelings as legitimate. It's a powerful tool in your de-escalation arsenal, showing your teen that their emotions are seen and taken seriously, regardless of the situation. Real-Life Application : Emily's story stands out. She found that validating her daughter's feelings, even when they seemed disproportionate to the situation, built a bridge of trust between them. My journey as a parent mirrors this; acknowledging my teen's feelings has often been the first vital step toward resolution and understanding. Expert Quote : "Validation is the first step toward empathy." - Dr. John Gottman, Psychologist (Find this in "The Gottman Institute’s Guide to Emotional Intelligence") Problem & Solution : Teens often feel their emotions are dismissed. By acknowledging their feelings as real and significant, you affirm their right to feel. This transformation can turn a confrontational dynamic into one of cooperation and respect. Homework Assignment : Implement the "Emotion Word of the Day." Introduce a new feeling word daily, using it in conversation with your teen. This broadens their emotional vocabulary for better communication and articulation of their anger in the future. Additionally, it demonstrates your commitment to understanding their world. #4 : Using Calming Techniques Together The Technique in Detail : Engaging in calming activities with your teen can be a powerful non-verbal communication tool, signaling that you're both on the same team. It provides a shared experience that can diffuse tension and foster connection, offering a peaceful counterpoint to the storm of anger. Real-Life Application : Lisa, a dedicated mother I advised, discovered that walks with her son during tense times created a neutral ground for open conversation. She recently emailed me to express her gratitude, sharing that their daily walks have brought them exceptionally closer. Similarly, finding activities that both my teen and I enjoy, like discussing football or music, has opened new avenues for communication and bonding, reminding us of our connection beyond the conflict. Expert Quote : "Shared activities can act as a non-verbal dialogue that opens doors to emotional connection." - Dr. Sheila Modir, Pediatric Psychologist (Find this in "The Stress-Reducing Family") Problem & Solution : Breaking the cycle of anger can be challenging. Introducing calming shared activities offers both a distraction and a way to reconnect. Choose activities that are calming, neutral, and enjoyable for both of you, fostering a sense of unity and understanding. Homework Assignment : The "Creative Co-learning Challenge." Together, pick an activity neither of you is familiar with. The shared learning experience can lead to laughter and a sense of shared accomplishment, lightening the mood and strengthening your bond. #5 : Set Clear Boundaries The Technique in Detail : Establishing clear boundaries is essential for maintaining respect and understanding in any relationship. In the context of de-escalating teen anger, it helps both parties understand the limits of acceptable behavior, creating a safe space for emotions to be expressed constructively. Real-Life Application : My good buddy Tom's experience with setting boundaries for respectful communication significantly transformed his household's dynamic. "It leads to more constructive conversations and less conflict," he shared with me. Similarly, in my own home, our established boundaries have been pivotal in maintaining harmony, even amid disagreements. Expert Quote : "Boundaries are the lifelines of healthy relationships." - Dr. Henry Cloud, Psychologist (Find this in "Boundaries") Problem & Solution : Enforcing boundaries during emotional turmoil can be daunting. The solution lies in consistency and clarity, explaining the rationale behind these boundaries and the consequences of crossing them. Homework Assignment : The "Boundary Blueprint." Sit down with your teen to outline acceptable and unacceptable behaviors during disagreements. This co-created document serves as a mutual agreement, reinforcing respect and understanding. #6 : Choose Your Battles The Technique in Detail : Deciding which conflicts to engage in and which to let pass is a strategic component of de-escalation. It's about identifying the battles that truly matter, preserving energy and emotional bandwidth for the issues that are most significant to your relationship's health and your teen's well-being. Real-Life Application : Learning to choose my battles was a turning point in my relationship with my teen. It meant letting go of the inconsequential to focus on what truly mattered, fostering a more peaceful and respectful home environment. Many parents, like myself, find that this approach not only reduces overall conflict but also highlights the importance of the issues that we do choose to address. Expert Quote : "Choosing your battles wisely means knowing what is worth fighting for." - Dr. Phil McGraw (Find this in "Life Strategies") Problem & Solution : It's tempting to address every issue that arises, but this can lead to unnecessary tension. The solution is to critically assess the long-term importance of each conflict. If it won't matter in a year, it may not be worth the emotional investment now. Homework Assignment : Practice the "24-Hour Rule." When a potential conflict arises, wait 24 hours before addressing it. This pause can provide perspective, helping you decide if it's truly worth pursuing or better left alone. Conclusion: Navigating the Journey Together As we continue to explore the complexities of teen anger through this series, it's clear that de-escalation is not just about managing immediate conflicts but about building a foundation of understanding, respect, and empathy that can withstand the storms of adolescence. Stay tuned for our final installment, where we'll offer top tips for dealing with teen anger, drawing together the threads of understanding, management, and de-escalation into a comprehensive strategy for nurturing a peaceful, supportive family environment. Remember, this journey is one of mutual growth and learning. Each step forward, guided by these techniques and the insights from our previous discussions on understanding and managing teen anger, brings us closer to a relationship marked by deeper connection and mutual respect. Enjoy it? Spread the word and share it with the masses! Facebook X (Twitter) WhatsApp LinkedIn Pinterest Copy link And don't forget to voice your thoughts and share your feedback below! I would love to hear your success stories and how you handled it! comments debug Comments Write a comment Write a comment Share Your Thoughts Be the first to write a comment. Check out our 3-minute Mashups Up Mashup Home Up or bask in our full-length blogs! Up Our Library Up

Unlock the power of music to connect with your teen. This guide offers practical music and parenting tips and tricks to use tunes for bonding and understanding. Music and Parenting: Strengthening Teen Bonds Through Tunes Written By : Daniel Currie Published On : 3/11/2024 As we navigate the intricate dance of guiding our children through their formative years, the question arises: Should we dictate the soundtrack to their growth? In this exploration of "Music and Parenting: Strengthening Teen Bonds Through Tunes," I invite you to discover why the answer is a resounding NO, and how music serves as a bridge, not a barrier, between you and your child. Table of Contents ► Music: The Heartbeat of Parenting and Teen Connection ►Scientifically Proven ►Release Agent ►Not just Teens! Young Children and Toddlers, too! ►Communication in Music » How Do Musical Sounds Make You Feel? ►Music and Parenting: DO! » Exercies To Try at Home ►Creation and Self-Expression ►What If I Disapprove of the Music? ►A Radical Idea: Tune In, Not Out » Additional Exercise To Try at Home ►Music and Parenting: DON'T! ►Conclusion Blog Focus: Entertainment Read Time: 8 minutes Relativity Rating: Adolecence and Under What's this? Music: The Heartbeat of Parenting and Teen Connection Music transcends mere rhythm and melody—it's an all-encompassing force, capable of stirring the soul from the depths of turmoil to peaks of sheer ecstasy and serenity. It's this profound impact that makes music an essential, yet often underestimated, element in the complexities of parenting. Scientifically Proven It's been scientifically validated: music wields the power to transform our psychological landscape. Research reveals its ability to elevate mood, diminish stress, and conjure a sense of tranquility. The act of listening to music can lower cortisol levels, alleviate heart rate and blood pressure, and trigger the release of endorphins, offering a natural high that nurtures both body and soul. "Music has also been found to reduce cortisol levels, help with sleep, reduce depression, and even reduce burnout," according to Penn Medicine . It has become clear that music isn't just sound; it's a balm for the psyche, a release valve for the pressures of life. Release Agent Another vital benefit is that music can help validate your child's current emotional state and provide a healthy outlet for expression. As a result, it becomes an excellent tool for parents to help their children understand how to regulate their emotions in a healthy, proper way. In addition, this can create a safe space where children and teens can explore and express their feelings without judgment or fear. Finally, even when all else fails, a good tune can be used as a tool or outlet to distract, calm down, and relax. Not Just Teens! Young Children and Toddlers, too! Music is a superb tool that can be utilized to calm babies and toddlers- and relaxing music can also bring peace and tranquility to busy and stressed parents. On the flip side, music can also create a stimulating environment to nurture the growth and development of a child. Additionally, parents may use music to bring joy to the family and create an atmosphere of celebration. Communication in Music Beyond the soothing power and tranquil environment music can provide, it is an excellent method for young children to help experience and understand various emotions and feelings. Many people will go as far as to state that music is a type of sub-language to communicate. Rhythms and tunes allow for emotional communication, a shared connection that you can explore with each other. Stories have moved me from parents who, by embracing their teen's musical tastes, found a unique pathway into their hearts. For example, my good buddy, Mark, has always had this repulsion for rap simply because he couldn't understand what they were saying. His kid, Lucas, immersed himself in it. My buddy humbled himself and gave it another shot, taking Lucas to a concert. Lucas took the time to help his dad understand what the artist was saying. The outcome? They shared a newfound appreciation for rap together and another avenue of bonding thanks to the common ground with his son. Many stories like this exist, especially with the ever-popular Taylor Swift; moms, dads, and teens are now sharing playlists and friendship bracelets—and forging bonds through music. These stories are so much more than anomalies; they're testaments to the transformative power of musical connection. How Do Musical Sounds Make You Feel? Find Out! From the ancient drumbeats of our ancestors to the digital rhythms of today's hits, music remains a timeless connector across all walks of life. Whether it was the Hurrian Hymn played on a nine-stringed sammûm or the most recent EDM (Electronic Dance Music) from Tiësto, music has been integral to human civilization, and clearly how it makes us feel. While music has been essential throughout human history and has been proven to forge bonds, it is crucial to understand that no two individuals are alike, and thus, no two tastes in music are always the same. What someone might find soothing and nostalgic, another may find sad and fearful. Music can be a great way to express these feelings and connect with our teens (or anyone!) as long as we remember that each person can experience the same song differently. Berkeley University has done some amazing studies and impressive investigative work on how certain tunes, musical notes, and harmonies evoke certain emotions. Curious? Check it out! Listen to Berkeley's Interactive Music Map Now! Music and Parenting: DO! If your child wants to begin playing an instrument, singing, or joining school activities for this, we should always encourage it! Remember, music takes many forms: where it can be done alone or in a group, with instruments or without—and it can even include listening to music, moving to the music, and doing a little improv to whatever is on. Get Engaged! Here are a few activities you can do to break the music barrier and get involved: Weekly Music Night: #1 Homework/engagement exercies Call it 'Music Monday' or anything you want! Make your day special by playing music when you usually don't, such as at dinner. Talk music. Discuss music, debate your favorite artist, and share why you like a particular song or genre and what feelings or emotions it evokes. For example, I thrive on music that has terraced dynamics, such as a soft piano and vocals dropping on a dime, going all-out screamo, and heavy with drums and bass. It is the peacefulness to full throttle, where that transition pumps the adrenaline, giving the rush of energy. Create a Collaborative Playlist: With streaming services like Spotify or Apple Music, it's a cinch. Challenge each other to add songs that you think the other will enjoy, or set themes for the week like 'Songs that Make You Happy' or 'Songs to Chill Out To.' It's a fun, interactive way to explore each other's musical tastes and maybe even discover some new favorites together. Live Concerts: Make a point to go to a concert or musical event as a family once a month, a year, or however long you choose. There's something magical about experiencing live music together. Whether it's a concert by your teen's favorite band, a local music festival, or even a classical music performance, make plans to attend a musical event together. Take turns deciding what to see and who to see, and then discuss what you enjoyed about the concert after you saw it! Creation and Self-Expression Creating music is essential to self-expression and fosters creative thinking. Exploring and creating music builds self-esteem, problem-solving, and motivation, leading to character and individualism. Inspiring your children to explore their creative side and discover different music-making methods is a fantastic idea. Studies show that active music-making positively affects mental and emotional well-being, which helps our children overall. "Active music-making positively affects neurotransmitters, such as dopamine and serotonin, that influence mood." - Tallahassee Memorial Healthcare : Megan Hoffer MM MT-BC, Julie Avirett MM MT-BC, Kelsey Bocharski Music Therapy Intern, Joshua Da Costa Music Therapy Intern What If I Disapprove of the Music? Countless parents disapprove of the music their child or teen enjoys and listens to for various reasons. For example, some disagree with the artists' songs' profanity or viewpoints/statements. Others disapprove of the sound of the music or the reputation of the genre of music or the artist. Whatever the reason that causes you to want to proclaim, "you should not listen to..." certain (or all) music, I beg of you for the sake of your teen and their emotions: please, give it a chance and reconsider your standpoint. Have you ever considered how a simple melody can open the door to your teen's world? A Radical Idea: Tune In, Not Out Keep an open mind. Instead of concentrating so hard on every hiccup of a "bad message" or F-bomb, tune in to your teen's music and get curious about what makes it so transformative to them. "Diving into their playlist is like diving into their inner world," a parent once shared with me, highlighting how shared musical experiences can act as a bridge to deeper emotional connections. By inviting your teen to share their favorite tunes, you're not just opening your ears—you're opening your heart. This gesture of genuine interest and acceptance speaks volumes, echoing the sentiment, "I see you, I hear you, and you matter to me." In addition, ask your teen to introduce you to three of their favorite songs this week, and in exchange, share three of yours. Discuss what you each like about them to spark meaningful conversations. Doing this will also give a deeper insight into their tastes and what makes them tick. #2 Homework/engagement exercises Music and Parenting: DON'T Even if you can't get behind your teen's music after trying to connect with them through their musical preferences, whatever the reasons are, I get it. It's tough. Some of the music out there can be a hard pill to swallow—whether morally, socially, or ethically. Regardless, understand this: The feelings that music evokes and makes a person feel are your child's feelings, not yours. Like it or not, you cannot change or mold your teen's core feelings. It is what makes them them. If you're worried about the messages in some songs, use them as starting points for open discussions with your teen about values, choices, and understanding different perspectives. It will give you that golden opportunity to see if your susceptible teen understands your family belief system and has good morals. In any case, do not fret. "A person's mind, mood, and body do not decipher the meanings of words in the same way that the body feels rhythm and beat," notes Dan Currie from CurlyStache Blogs . It's important to remember that it can include somebody's voice, too. It is also vital to remember that when the message is offensive, good, solid parenting will come in to save the day. If you have raised your child with a robust set of morals and beliefs, especially when it comes to knowing right from wrong, they will be just fine, and the concerning "message" in the song will fall by the wayside. In Conclusion, Let this blog be a call to action. Because music, with its pulsating rhythms and haunting melodies, has the power to whisper directly to our souls, weaving an intricated tapestry of shared experiences and unspoken understandings. Let us lean into the music that moves our teens, guiding them with our shared values and open hearts. For every note, beat, and lyric, there is an opportunity to connect, understand, and grow together. It doesn't matter what the music is- whether it is elevator music, birds chirping, or death metal- lean into it and do not try to shun it away. Remember, if it feels good, regardless of the message it may be delivering, listen on and allow your family belief system and morals to guide you past any sinister messages. Music is a gateway to your deepest emotions, giving you a control dial to manage your stress and anxiety. Now, it's time to use this powerful tool and unlock all it offers by chilling out and dialing in! So, let music be the bridge you build towards understanding and closeness with your teen. The harmony you create together will resonate far beyond the notes. Enjoy it? Spread the word and share it with the masses! 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A short raising teens blog, 3 minutes long, with multiple writing styles. This week's episode 002, is geared towards self-educating to better hone parenting skills. Dive deeper! Each of the 4 styles comes with a sub-blog link in the article. The Mashup: Raising Teens Blog Entries. Opinionated. Grounded in Facts. Start Here! Blogs More More Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Find us on Social! >>> The Mashup: Short Raising Teens Blog Entries. Opinionated. Grounded in Facts. 002 - 10.11.23 Uncover 4 Superior Parenting Styles I want to bring back an oldie but goodie in this episode. One of the first blog series I wrote was on parenting styles. This Mashup post is geared towards self-education, giving you the tools to identify the type of parent you are in the eyes of professionals, scholars, psychologists, and doctors. Revealing these 4 parenting styles will allow you to identify your style and objectively and clearly understand your strengths and weaknesses, bettering yourself as a parent. Furthermore, it gives you a solid benchmark, allowing you to take a step back and identify your progress in your parenting quest compared to where you want to be, allowing new and improved goals to be set. Regardless, I assure you, nobody is perfect. Despite having four identifiable parenting classifications, nobody falls perfectly into one specific category—which is a good thing! This is what makes us extraordinary, unique parents! We all have our distinctive version of parenting. Without further ado, here are the 4 types. Neglectful Parenting It may sound rough, saying you could be a "neglectful" person- especially regarding your child- but it doesn't mean you don't love and care for them. The primary characteristics include the following: Absent, uninvolved, and freedom-giving Guidance and emotional support are rare Indifferent to the nourishing of their social, behavioral, and emotional life Basic needs are the parent's primary role (food, shelter, clothing) Read the full article on Neglectful Parenting here! Permissive Parenting This style has become more popular recently with the assistance of social media and various human rights movements, concentrating on their child's needs in excess. Characteristics of a permissive parent include: Parent/child relationship is primarily child-driven (Over)indulges their child with rewards to dodge conflicts There are very few rules; they are very inconstantly enforced or not enforced at all Parents are very nourishing to their children but find it challenging to impose limitations and boundaries Read the full article on Permissive Parenting here! Authoritarian Parenting Although firm and rigid, this type of parenting is still fairly popular for many reasons, including how the parent was raised, culture, religion, and nationality. In recent years, however, this style has declined as more parents find permissive parenting a compelling choice. A few traits of an authoritarian parent are: Parent/child relationship is primarily parent-driven Very rigid and strict household rules that set very harsh punishments Indifferent to the nourishing of their social and emotional life Communication is typically one-way from parent to child Read the full article on Authoritarian Parenting here! Authoritative Parenting Authoritative parenting has been best described as a happy medium between the permissive and authoritarian styles, pulling from the best of both worlds. Parents strive for this most popular type, even if they fall short and land in another category. Some of the key points are: Parents are responsive, supportive, and nurturing Sets firm rules set in the home; parents are willing to listen and reason but don't necessarily always accept what the child has to say Uses open communication and natural consequences for wrongdoings Attempt to mold their child's growth and behavior by taking an interest and explaining, discussing, and reasoning with them as they do good and bad Read the full article on Authoritative Parenting here! What kind or kinds are you? I opened this Mashup for comment (down below! 👇), so please let me know. Are you permissive with a hint of authoritative? I'd love to hear! Please check out the series, which goes into more detail on each, including the pros and cons and how to get the most out of your parenting style. Links below to the 6-part Parenting Series. Part I - "What Kind R U" (Intro to series) Part II - "The Big UNcubed" (Neglectful Parenting) Part III - "The Great PRO³" (Permissive Parenting) Part IV - "What THE?" (Authoritarian Parenting) Part V - "HA! HA! HA!" (Authoritative Parenting) Part VI - "UN derstanding the PRO blems THE y HA ve" (The takeaway from the series) LOOK for the play on words in each blog and how the title relates to the sections of each! Date Until next time! Wednesday, October 11, 2023 Share Blog (Copy Again) Copy Link https://www.curlystache.com/mashup Episode 002 - "Uncover 4 Superior Parenting Styles" What? So, what exactly is the Mashup? Precisely as it sounds: a blend of online writing styles in a format ranging from storytelling and structured to opinionated to factual, formal to casual, and personal to professional—all while ensuring we keep true to the CurlyStache mission of guiding teenagers and raising teens today in a volatile society. The Mashup is designed to be more opinionated, grounded in facts, less researched, and directed to spark ideas and discussions. When? During the weeks I cannot get a blog out, I will fill that void with a Mashup entry. Remember to follow us on Facebook @CurlyStache Blogs and through all your favorite social media outlets to get notified of the newest releases! And be sure to share it with friends and families that could benefit! Why? I enjoy writing and expressing my opinions on essential issues when raising teens today. There are times throughout the week when I cannot get to my computer as much as I would like—or cannot do my due diligence and research a blog to present it how I want it and still be backed by facts. This fills the void. Short articles containing whatever is on my mind grounded in current events relating to parenting and teen issues, writing in whatever style vibing at the time. ▲ Back to Top Start Here! Blogs More More Find us on Social! >>> CurlyStache Blogs: A division of CurlyStache, www.curlystache.com . | Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Copyright notice: All images on this page, including all pages within the https://www.curlystache.com domain, are fully licensed or created for the sole purpose of this website. For additional information, please contact us at admin@curlystache.com

It's disheartening to witness your teenager struggle to connect with their peers. That's why we've created this helpful blog with the top 10 essential strategies to assist teens who feel socially awkward to begin feeling more comfortable and confident in making connections. With the appropriate strategies and techniques, you can empower your teen to forge strong social bonds and thrive during this challenging time. Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Start Here! Blogs More More Find us on Social! >>> You are Here: CurlyStache | How to Foster Positive Relations with Socially Awkward Teens Privacy Policy | Cookies Policy | Contact Us How to Foster Positive Relations with Socially Awkward Teens INSPIRE SOCIAL CONFIDENCE! SEIZE THE MOMENT AND CONQUER OBSTACLES ENGAGE IN THEIR UNTAPPED POTENTIAL AND EMBRACE THEIR AUTHENTIC PERSONALITY! 🤏 Intro 🫶 ✍️ Read Blog 👇 💯 Top 10 list to help your teen 👊 This blog will cover essential dos and don'ts in assessing and identifying obstacles troubling your teen socially. Additionally, we will cover tools, resources, and techniques you can use to help your teen through their difficult time—including a top 10 list of most effective ways to assist your teen in developing social connections. From the tools within this article and your compassion as a parent, there is nothing your teen can't accomplish during this challenging period. Written By Daniel Currie Published: September 25, 2023 Please be sure to leave a comment in the posts! This helps many parents see YOUR perspective on the topic, too! Like the article or think it could help somebody else? Please share it ! Follow us on social media for updates with the newest blog releases, website news, and a place to get amusing memes regularly , sure to get you through the day with a smile on your face! Don't forget to include #CurlyStache and #CurlyStacheBlogs when sharing and discussing Let's get the word out there! Take a moment to SUBSCRIBE Never miss a blog post Stay informed Newsletters and web-happenings Chance for upcoming freebies & merch ► BUT YOU HAVE TO BE A SUBSCRIBER! DON'T WORRY, IT'S FREE! ◄ As a parent, you want the best for your child, especially regarding their social life. However, if your teen struggles with social interactions and feels awkward in social settings, knowing how to help them can be challenging. But don't worry, as we are raising teens today, we can do a few things to support and understand them. Firstly, and perhaps most importantly, it's crucial to recognize that everyone is unique regarding how social they are and want to be. Some teens crave the center stage, wanting to be the life of the party, while others are content with calling their cat their best friend, to whom they tell all their secrets. Even though your teen may appear to struggle connecting with others and become more social like all their peers, they could be content with precisely how they are. Our job as parents is to identify exactly what is going on; this way, we can help appropriately if help is needed. Assess the situation. When the time is right, communicate with your teen. Your teen must understand it's okay to make mistakes and that social awkwardness is a common experience that everyone goes through. Question them, asking them what they prefer regarding their social preference. Do they want to be part of a big group of friends that hang out at the football game? Do they like a few close friends who get lost in each other's secrets? Online via social media or online gaming? Perhaps their grandpa is the only one who understands them best. Or maybe they are just an animal lover whose whole world revolves around the pet cat they've had since a toddler. There is no wrong friendship or way of socializing; within the human mind, emotions and how they make you feel are all the same. Suppose it is not the mainstream version of socializing, such as going to a party on Saturday night, instead preferring to stay home to play Xbox or building a contraption for the pet cat. In that case, it simply means they are uniquely exceptional. They are original people who would much rather march to their own beat than anyone else. To all teens who do what makes them happy (socially or otherwise), regardless of what others may think, I tip my hat to you because you are doing it correctly! If you find your teen is doing their own thing and marching to their own tune because they choose to, life is good! No need to worry anymore; they are doing what makes them happy, and their social skills are developing just fine. Keep in mind, many teens who choose to be alone or with very few friends (a) do, in fact, have an outlet for someone to confide in, laugh with, and share secrets with, most likely at school and away from parents, and (b) their social skills are continuing to grow through school, whereas the weeknights and weekends are needed to decompress from it all. However, if your teen wants to get out and have a robust social life but is struggling to make friends or keep friends or just feels awkward in social settings, there are things we can do to help. Start by ruling out problems directly contributing to social issues, such as drug or alcohol abuse, school bullying, or clinical depression. Be encouraged to talk with school counselors, teachers, and principals about school behavior issues or potential bullying. If medical problems are suspected or identified, consult your medical physician before anything. Remember, social skills building will not work if depression is not treated first. Once substance abuse, medical problems, or other physical issues have been ruled out or dealt with, the next step is to ensure you separate your issues from theirs. What I mean by this is that parents have the tendency, even if subconsciously, to project not only their wants and needs to their teen but also their fears and paranoia. When coupled with addressing your teen's social issues, since it can be an unnerving situation, when your parental instincts kick in, and you want to jump in and "fix it," making it all the better for your teen, it often backfires, sending the wrong message. Your teen could see your intervening and trying to help (although the intentions are good) as questioning their competency to make friends and be social and independent. Instead, don't go out trying to fix anything; be there for them, attentively listening while being impartial, gaining your teen's trust as they confide in you. Remember, the more your teen feels like you could be criticizing them or your body language implies you are judging them, the less likely they will ever want to confide in you. If you don't show tolerance and grace when they open up to you, helping them get through their social roadblock becomes very difficult. Keep in the back of your mind as your teenager divulges that they are in a volatile period: not a child anymore, but not an adult either. Remind yourself you were once in that position, too, where you were a confused, excited, emotional, untidy, sensitive, and secretive teenager. Ensure you empathize with your teen. No matter what they say, try to stay calm and, crucially, listen to them before coming to conclusions. There is no need to show judgment; make them feel comfortable and safe knowing they can freely talk about an uneasy situation. Once your teen has explained how they feel and what seems to be the obstacle they need to overcome, don't be quick to tell them their mistakes or suggest what they could've done differently. Instead, voice back to them what they stated, clarifying their thoughts and allowing them to interpret the summary of the situation so they can find their flaws or improvements, if any, on their own. While they become comfortable opening up to you, it also allows for a unique perspective into your teen that you may have otherwise never seen. Encourage them to approach social situations with a positive attitude and focus on having fun rather than worrying about how they are perceived by others. Offer your advice and wisdom when they ask. It's completely fine to request to make a suggestion after they laid it all out on the table, and you listen intently to everything they had to say. Ensure you never pressure them to take your guidance or suggestions; only they can choose to take your advice or leave it. We are here to support and guide them however they need; remember, this uneasy situation isn't about you - it's about your teen. So take a deep breath, turn off your brain, and simply be there for them however they need. Of course, as parents, we need to be proactive and encourage ways to conquer social awkwardness. It is important to stress that coercing or forcing our teens into anything is not helping; it only hurts and further upsets them. That being said, subtly suggest or offer ways they could get involved in situations that trigger a positive social experience or ways to prepare for the next time there is a social situation. Top 10 essential strategies to assist teens who feel socially awkward begin feeling more comfortable and confident making connections: socially-awkward-strategies Friendships: Discuss what friendship means to your teen. Define what a friend means to cultivate relationships better. To some, a friend is someone you see at a party. To others, it may be a sole friend. Once you've identified what is needed, you can help guide your teen toward achieving the friendship they desire. 1 2 Common Interests: Look for places where common interests intersect, such as online forums, extracurricular clubs, support groups, and even online games (multiplayer or one-on-one). These are excellent low-stake environments where people can meet and interact with the same base interests or issues. 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Transitions: As teens age, they find new sports, social circles, clubs, or groups. This usually means spending less time with old friends while offering the chance to make new friends. It is an excellent opportunity to explain how interests change and how pursuing new things and meeting new people is healthy. Activities: Try new activities, sports, or hobbies. This is a great natural way to begin communicating with peers and stimulating friendships. It encourages socialization, all while allowing your teen to discover new interests they can look forward to. As a bonus, the built-in structure of the activity will assist in reducing anxieties. Online: Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, friendships and social experiences have bloomed online in the digital world. Although face-to-face is preferred, the human connection is there, allowing natural feelings to flow and the sense of being wanted to be fulfilled. Online friends can be an excellent stepping stone to the real deal as they become more comfortable and confident in face-to-face interactions. Role-play: Find what situations make your teen the most uncomfortable, play out different scenarios, and give suggestions on how to handle each. They really will listen to you, even if they may not seem to! Small Talk: Baby steps. Do they feel uncomfortable talking in crowds or with classmates or employees? Have them try starting a small conversation with someone they will never see again (or a frequent person they bump into, turning into a real friendship!) Try the local cashier at the grocery store, the bookstore clerk, or lunch lady. Social Cues: Discussing social cues will help in joining conversations and socializing. Explain and role-play familiar signals, such as eye contact, body language, hand signals, etc., or if a group falls silent as you approach, tones and moods/vibes change. Go over how to read and handle each situation. Counseling: Sometimes, it's easiest to begin talking to a counselor. It does not need to be to talk about problems or social issues. Think of it this way: if you can start a conversation with them, you can begin a conversation with any individual! Medical: If your teen's social anxiety impacts their daily life excessively, seeking professional help may also be necessary. A therapist can provide them with tools and strategies to manage their anxiety and build confidence in social settings. 10 In conclusion, helping your socially awkward teen involves understanding their perspective, encouraging them to join clubs or groups, practicing social skills, and reassuring them that it's okay to make mistakes. With your unwavering support and guidance, your teen can learn to navigate social situations with confidence and ease. Remember, as a parent, you can make all the difference in your teen's life. Share Blog (Copy Again) Copy Link https://www.curlystache.com/fostering-positive-relations-with-socially-awkward-teens Read More Next Blog Newest Mashup Staying vigilant with your teens and talking with them could mean the difference between having their life ruined, emotions and state of mind uprooted, and put in a tailspin 3 Priceless Tools to Prevent Costly Lifechanging Mistakes Written By: Daniel Currie Published on: October 16, 2023 🫶 Read Now 👉 This Mashup article, episode 002, is geared towards self-educating to better hone parenting skills. Dive deeper! Each of the 4 styles comes with a sub-blog link in the article. Uncover 4 Superior Parenting Styles Written By: Daniel Currie Published on: October 11, 2023 🤏 Read Now 👉 Additional Blogs Find all the CurlyStache blogs where Raising Teens Today is at its core right here! Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts is the theme! 👊 Browse Now 👉 Additional Mashups Short 3-minute Blogs where there is no criteria or format. The Mashup slogan says it all: Short Raising Teens Blog Entries. Opinionated. Grounded in Facts. 👌Browse Now 👉 Your Opinion Matters! Leave a comment—It matters what you think! comments debug Comments Write a comment Write a comment Share Your Thoughts Be the first to write a comment. ▲ Back to Top Start Here! Blogs More More Find us on Social! >>> You are Here: CurlyStache | How to Foster Positive Relations with Socially Awkward Teens Privacy Policy | Cookies Policy | Contact Us CurlyStache Blogs: A division of CurlyStache, www.curlystache.com . | Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Copyright notice: All images on this page, including all pages within the https://www.curlystache.com domain, are fully licensed or created for the sole purpose of this website. 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Teens and piercings are more than just a phase. Navigate their desires for body piercings with wisdom and the essentials for dialogue and understanding. ◄ Body Piercings Start Here! Blogs More More Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Find us on Social! >>> Raising Teens Today Who Want Body Piercings Handling the Situation Part II of the 2-part series In the second and final installment of Raising Teens Today Who Want Body Piercings, I will walk you through crucial actions to ensure the best possible outcome for you and your young adult. Missed the first part? Check out Raising Teens Today Who Want Body Piercings: Personal Experience 👈 Read Article! The article reveals life as a teen with a passion for body art and a parent who had to handle the situation. Jump to a Section : Raising Teens Today Who Want Body Piercings: Handling the Situation ►Sustain or Subdue? ▪ Reality Check: Their Age ▪ Don't Add Insult To Injury ▪ Limited Options ▫ Let's go over our options ▫ Boils down to options A or B ►Option C ▪ Middle Ground ▪ Be Humble: Think Back, Don't React ►Essential Parenting Dos (and Don'ts!) ►Spite or Serious? ▪ Spite ▪ Serious ►Raising Teens & Body Piercings: It's NOT the End ►Conclusion ►Comments Written By Dan Currie Published: May 22, 2023 Sustain or Subdue? We as parents should always have a say in our young adult's decisions, especially if they still live in our homes and school. So what should we do when they turn 18 and are adamant about getting a body piercing, and we aren't comfortable with that idea (or downright disapprove)? Let's look into our options and what we can do in this situation: sustain the idea and let it flourish- or subdue it, killing the thought of body shrapnel. Reality Check: Their Age First, it is imperative to remember that they are 18 years old and have a legal right to make their own decisions regarding their bodies. I get it. It's hard letting go sometimes, but they grow up, and we must let them do what they think is best- even if we know better and have the wisdom that comes with maturity and age. All we can do is be there for them, giving comfort and advice as necessary, hoping we have raised them the best they can be. Don't Add Insult To Injury Whatever age your child is, we should NEVER subdue our children and their thoughts, opinions, or preferences- no matter how foolish it may seem to us as parents with wisdom. Remember, this makes them unique and fosters emotional growth and self-esteem. If you attempt to completely quash their idea without listening to them first, they will feel denigrated and disparaged, shattering their self-worth. Limited Options Let's go over our options But I still don't approve of them getting a body piercing, so what should I do? Without sugarcoating it, the brutal truth is that there is nothing. No form of legal action (in typical circumstances) will prevent it. Screaming matches and arguments generally do not work. Faulting your teen and making them feel their preferences and tastes will not work either. Imposing punishments is an option; however, whether they believe it is worth the consequences remains their choice. Boils down to Options A or B There is no golden ticket answer without forcing and threatening your young adult into something else that could make them feel belittled or hamper their self-esteem. Unfortunately, this is one of those deals where you can go to other sites (even the ones claiming a guarantee) where you can legally do nothing without either (A) obtaining a court order or (B) throwing out all morals scorning and vilifying your child. Option C As stated, without becoming a vile parent yourself or jumping through a ton of hoops (or both!), if your child wants a body piercing, they ultimately can get one. What we should be doing as good, responsible, nurturing parents is opening the lines of communication with them- Option (C). Let's not try dismissing their ideas and thought processes; instead, try understanding them. Be direct, sit down with them, and express yourself and reason for your feelings. We do not want them to feel that parents are always in control; otherwise, they will see us as puppet masters pulling all the strings, and they are just going through the motions at that point. So instead, show that you respect their decision and are willing to listen and offer input, gently steering them in a direction where both of you can meet in the middle. Middle Ground Finding the middle ground is the best solution, even if we may disagree with the body shrapnel or what it represents in some cases. We must think objectively and with an open mind, briefly removing the parenting hat. The best way to do this is by putting yourself in their shoes. Be Humble: Think Back, Don't React Take a minute, be humble, and put yourself in your child's shoes. Pretend for a moment you had your heart set on a particular piece of metal you could wear, much like earrings, but only in other parts of the body. Then, as you become excited, you take the high road and run it past your parents rather than trying to hide it or make them upset and just come home with it. What would you hope your parents would say about it when you came to them? If you are honest with yourself, you would want your parents to a least hear you out and respect your opinions rather than ridicule you. Furthermore, the last thing you want to hear is your parents deciding for you even though you now have a legal right to the decision—a tough pill to swallow. Essential Parenting Dos (and Don'ts!) Instead, have a real heart-to-heart conversation with them. Take them out to lunch, the batting cage, the mall, or whatever brings each of you close and gives you a chance to hash it out. When you talk with them, show that you are sincerely listening and be involved in the conversation without hijacking it. For example, have them explain why they find it so attractive, what made them choose that particular location, and their plans after the piercing. In doing this, your child will think highly of your opinions and be more receptive to your thoughts and advice on the piercing. As a bonus, they will surely think much more carefully about it before running off hellbent on doing it. Spite or Serious? As their parent, you probably know whether your child is serious about a body piercing. That said, one of two things will happen. Spite If your teen is coming to you about thinking about a piercing, saying they are going to get one, but their body language or something else screams otherwise, allow your parental panic alarm to sound. For example, once you realize they want one out of spite, because it is the newest fad, or even because of peer pressure, you will want to reach into the bag of tricks to get them to think twice and hopefully not go through with it. Remember, as parents, we only want to subtly assist in making sure they make an informed and correct decision. Under no circumstance do we want to force a decision or add to their stress and pressure them. So instead, give your child the facts, laying them out to allow them to see it clearly and lean on you for advice. Serious On the flip side, if your teenager is adamant about some body shrapnel, and they have come to you with a well-thought-out and organized plan, then it is a safe bet they are mentally and emotionally ready for it. In addition, if your child can answer any questions you may throw at them regarding your concerns about getting a body piercing, you can be sure they are mature enough to have thought it through in depth. Furthermore, that is also an excellent sign that it is not a spur-of-the-moment decision or a spontaneous "you only live once" fling. At that point, and their intent is evident, the only thing left is to let them come to you for support and advice, even if we disapprove of the decision. However, if you respect their decision, they may allow suggestions if it merits them since they can see you are trying. Even if the ideas fall on a deaf ear or there is no room for recommendations, at the very least, you don't end up with the strain of a choppy relationship over differences in opinions. Raising Teens & Body Piercings: It's NOT the End Raising teens today is challenging, especially regarding topics like this. I bring good news, though: as mentioned in the previous article, Raising Teens Today Who Want Body Piercings: Part I , Personal Experience, body piercings are only semi-permanent. That means they come out and heal with a minimal scar. It comes out even quicker and with less effort than going in if your child realizes they do not like it, whether a week or a decade later. Body piercings make an excellent alternative to something much more permanent such as a tattoo, so yes, it could be worse! In Conclusion As stated in the previous post, I agree with body piercings; they are an elegant art form that is not entirely permanent. Much like all art forms, it is in the eye of the beholder. What may be horrifying and disgusting to one may be a marvel or wonder to another. We must always respect each other's opinions regarding body piercings, even if they are our children. To allow them to grow and build self-esteem and individuality, they must be free to make their own decisions when the time comes. All we can do is be there and hope we raise them well. comments debug Comments Write a comment Write a comment Share Your Thoughts Be the first to write a comment. Your Opinion Matters! Leave a comment. Let us know what you think! ▲ Back to Top Start Here! Blogs More More Find us on Social! >>> CurlyStache Blogs: A division of CurlyStache, www.curlystache.com . | Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Copyright notice: All images on this page, including all pages within the https://www.curlystache.com domain, are fully licensed or created for the sole purpose of this website. For additional information, please contact us at admin@curlystache.com

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Suppose we can understand the reasons why our tweens and teens have the desire to get high, drunk, or anything else. If we can do that, we can begin to pull back the veil and peer into their mindset and what is causing them to be rebellious. It's necessary to recognize, though, that every teen is different and unique in their own right, and there are no two identical situations as to why each tween or teen does drugs. This makes it vital to understand why they choose to use drugs & alcohol. Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Start Here! Blogs More More Find us on Social! >>> You are Here: CurlyStache | Tweens & Teens Using Drugs & Alcohol: WHY is Vital Privacy Policy | Cookies Policy | Contact Us Tweens & Teens Using Drugs & Alcohol: WHY is Vital Guiding teenagers who gravitate to their drug or alcohol of choice In this blog: In this blog: Raising teens today and maneuvering through drug & alcohol abuse Top 13 reasons WHY tweens & teens use or abuse long after experimentation Suppose we can understand the reasons why our tweens and teens have the desire to get high, drunk, or anything else. If we can do that, we can begin to pull back the veil and peer into their mindset and what is causing them to be rebellious in doing what we've most likely preached against for their entire life. When and if we can accomplish this, we can nip the problem in the bud and potentially additional related issues. It's necessary to recognize, though, that every teen is different and unique in their own right, so there are no two identical situations as to why each tween or teen does drugs. This means you must really focus and pay attention to the littlest details to understand the why. Written By Daniel Currie Published: November 27, 2023 Relativity Rating What's this? Drugs are bad*. I am pretty sure if you are a parent, grandparent, guardian, or simply a sensible, caring human being with a tween or teenager in your life, you know this. There are thousands of blogs and websites out there that will tell you this, with hundreds of ways to prevent drug abuse and misuse while encouraging healthy decision-making. Although the CurlyStache stance is that we strongly agree with those statements, this article will not dwell on it. Instead, let's try to understand why tweens and teens make those decisions. How come they choose to continue down the rabbit hole even when (and especially when) they know it is wrong, unhealthy, and usually carries the potential of life-threatening risks. Remember, this article talks less about trying something for the first time . I have tailored this entry toward those who use drugs recreationally or worse. Nevertheless, understanding why tweens and teens begin down this road is half the battle and, critically, often gets overlooked. Suppose we can intimately understand their attraction to the drug or drugs and its appeal. In that case, we can empathize and understand their position, allowing us to custom-fit a regimen to help them. Additionally, it will enable us to see through to them on a deeper level, encouraging them to engage and reach out. Furthermore, by doing this, they become more comfortable confiding in you when asking for help and guidance in these tricky times. It is imperative to remember there are hundreds of reasons, even multiple reasons, why our teens do what they do, using or abusing drugs. Furthermore, each reasoning is usually just as complex as the tween or teen. Regardless, I have included the top 13 reasons why our tweens and teens continue to use or abuse drugs long after the experimentation phase: It is imperative to remember there are hundreds of reasons, even multiple reasons, why our teens do what they do, using or abusing drugs. Furthermore, each reasoning is usually just as complex as the tween or teen. Regardless, I have included the top 13 reasons why our tweens and teens continue to use or abuse drugs long after the experimentation phase: It is imperative to remember there are hundreds of reasons, even multiple reasons, why our teens do what they do, using or abusing drugs. Furthermore, each reasoning is usually just as complex as the tween or teen. Regardless, I have included the top 13 reasons why our tweens and teens continue to use or abuse drugs long after the experimentation phase: It is imperative to remember there are hundreds of reasons, even multiple reasons, why our teens do what they do, using or abusing drugs. Furthermore, each reasoning is usually just as complex as the tween or teen. Regardless, I have included the top 13 reasons why our tweens and teens continue to use or abuse drugs long after the experimentation phase: ◄ Previous Next ► Remember, most of the time, there are multiple reasons. For example, little Peter, 13 years old, has been caught stealing his parent's beer and drinking it in the past. Since then, Mom and Dad started counting the cans and watching them closely to ensure Peter doesn't continue. A year later, Mom and Dad catch him again, realizing he is still stealing their beer, but only waiting until they are drunk and not paying close attention to the count anymore. He is clearly consuming by choice now, with the only reason he couldn't use is "out of curiosity." This is when it becomes necessary to start understanding his mindset, "this" being the second time getting caught, presuming the first time was for experimental or curiosity reasons. Nevertheless, since he was caught red-handed for the second time, his Mom and Dad must take a unique stance with distinctive action when talking with him. They must discipline Peter for breaking the rules and doing something illegal. Mom and Dad's attitude and demeanor become paramount at this point. How they come off will directly impact his reaction, how he responds, and potentially their relationship after the fact. Despite their disappointment and anger in Peter, Mom and Dad should remain as calm, relaxed, and collected as possible—even if they need to take a break and talk later. They mustn't fly off the handle, much like an authoritarian would. Conversely, completely blowing it off, becoming permissive or neglectful , is irresponsible and not good parenting either. Instead, Mom and Dad must be firm yet compassionate, remembering he is doing what makes him feel good too (parents are the same way—they just have the wisdom and "big-picture" understanding!). They must respect, listen without interruption, and be patient with their teen. The goal is to become more authoritative while being sensitive toward Peter's feelings and ensuring openness and presence for the teen. During their talk about drinking, they gave Peter the floor, allowing him to explain his actions with his own reasonings, without interruption or interjection. Although his parents disagreed with his explanation, and there was no excuse, it improved the chances of Peter returning the same respect after they attentively listened, allowing Peter to explain himself. Once Peter laid it all out for them and was given ample opportunity to say what he needed without anyone intervening, it was Mom and Dad's turn. Knowing they were getting the best version of Peter in a bad situation now, they began asking questions in hopes of understanding why he was still drinking. In this thought experiment, some of the questions (and answers) during their sit-down were: Why? But why alcohol and not something else? I'm thankful it wasn't drugs, though; I'm just curious. At y our age, drinking is just as bad as drugs. Where did you see that drinking was cool? How long has this been going on for? Do you honestly plan on stopping? Do you feel this 'urge' to NEED to drink even if you want to do something else? —"It makes me feel weird. But good." —"Drugs scare me, and both of you drink, so I thought it can't be as bad as weed or something like that." —"Well, none of my friends drink, I don't think, but stuff like that shows up on Insta and Twitter sometimes, sometimes Snapchat stories. But I promise, really, I don't have that stuff set as my interests/favorites or following or anything like that. It just shows up occasionally." —"I dunno. Let's just say it isn't the first time... Sorry." —"Yes and no. I would like to because it kind of seems stupid since I've drunk a few times, but I like the feeling, too." —"No, I only stole a few beers when you stopped paying attention. Otherwise, I wouldn't have cared and just figured out a way to get them if I felt like I NEEDED it- like I do ice cream!" After asking the proper questions and trying to figure out why Peter was doing it, they found it was most likely 3-parts "boredom and instant gratification," 2-parts "social media," and 1-part "family history," with the father's side having a history of abuse. With this information, Mom and Dad, after talking about it and not rushing to judgment, found the best form of punishment was giving him 1 hour of Internet per day. The thought process was that they would allow Peter one chance to clean up his actions on his own before seeking professional help, with family history being put into question. Limited Internet would force him to budget his time for online homework and other "essential" online needs, leaving little time for social media since that was a key factor. While that example was pretty detailed and in-depth, knowing there is more to it is important, too. For instance, your tween or teen's body language plays a role, knowing when a lie is being told and knowing that perhaps only half the truth is being told. In addition, it is essential to keep a vigilant eye out afterward for changes—good or bad. A misnomer that you will often hear when it comes to drug or alcohol abuse is "watch for attitude or behavior issues." Why is that a misnomer? Isn't it true? Sure, 95% of the time, your tween or teen's attitude or behavior will have issues and worsen. However, in the case of an undiagnosed health condition, it could become the opposite, where the adverse or negative happens. For example, if your tween or teen started showing symptoms of what would become OCD if left untreated and then began smoking marijuana around the same time. While under the influence, their behavior or mindset may improve via, in essence, self-medicating. In contrast, if they abruptly stop, the symptoms of OCD would become far more prevalent, causing them to appear to be under the influence or dependent on a drug. An involved, caring parent who wants nothing but the best for their tween or teen must constantly, without rest, keep a sharp eye out on their teen's surroundings. Half the battle in most cases when raising teens today is understanding the why, not just how to deal with it. Your tween or teen will continue to grow, making their own decisions. Our primary job as parents, grandparents, guardians, or whatever the relationship is is to ensure we do the best we can for them and guide them down the straight and narrow so that they become successful in life one day. More CurlyStache Blog Posts! Memento Mori: Happy Halloween CurlyStache Mashups CurlyStache Mashups Written By: Daniel Currie Published on: Saturday, October 28, 2023 Read Now 👉 Episode: Daniel Currie Up Previous Next Up Memento Mori: Happy Halloween CurlyStache Full-Length Blogs CurlyStache Full-Length Blogs Written By: Daniel Currie Published on: Saturday, October 28, 2023 Read Now 👉 Up Previous Next Up * While this article is designed with illegal drugs (for all ages) and alcohol for those under the legal age in mind, many aspects of this blog can pertain to issues regarding 18+ or 21+ age "drugs," such as smoking or vaping and prescription/OTC drugs. Notes Comments Let us know what you think, the floor is yours! ▲ Back to Top Start Here! Blogs More More Find us on Social! >>> You are Here: CurlyStache | Tweens & Teens Using Drugs & Alcohol: WHY is Vital Privacy Policy | Cookies Policy | Contact Us CurlyStache Blogs: A division of CurlyStache, www.curlystache.com . | Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Copyright notice: All images on this page, including all pages within the https://www.curlystache.com domain, are fully licensed or created for the sole purpose of this website. For additional information, please contact us at admin@curlystache.com

Teens deeply desire to understand our personalities and what makes us tick—much like we want to understand them. Ensuring they know our honest personalities enhances relationships and their ability to understand, making clear your expectations. Furthermore, being honest with them about your true self will add consistency to your decisions, disciplines, and rewards without even needing to try. Start Here! Blogs More More Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Find us on Social! >>> Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Delivering Authentic Meaningful Relationships with Your Teen by Being YOURSELF I introduce the shoe on the other foot in the second installment of Raising Teens Today & Personalities: The 2-way Street. Achieving an authentic and meaningful relationship with my teens is the crux of all I want to do as a parent, like all parents. Furthermore, I would like to be my (authentic) self with them, taking off the "dad hat" or lifting the brim so they can see within. I would love to let them see my raw personality, pure feelings, and sincere emotions without worry or ridicule. The good news is that this is EXACTLY what our teenage children desperately want and need! They deeply desire to understand our personalities, ticks, quirks, tendencies, and nuances just as we need to know theirs. Ensuring they know our personalities will enhance their ability to understand and make clear your expectations. Being honest about your true self will also add consistency to your decisions, disciplines, and rewards without even needing to try. This article will detail the benefits of allowing your natural, unfiltered personality to flourish and why doing this with your teenager is necessary. Jump to a Section : Raising Teens Today & Personality: The 2-way Street - PART II ► Intro (top of page) ► Recap ► Practice What You Preach ► Being Yourself ► Why Be So Open? ► Authenticity Amounts to Respect ► Next Level Relationships ► Authentic Truths ► Parent to Role Model ► Conclusion ► Comments Take a moment and SUBSCRIBE Never miss a blog post Stay informed Newsletters and web-happenings Chance for upcoming freebies & merch ► BUT YOU HAVE TO BE A SUBSCRIBER! DON'T WORRY, IT'S FREE! ◄ Written By DanielCurrie Published: September 4, 2023 Recap As discussed in the 1st part of our Raising Teens Today & Personalities article, while we continue guiding teenagers, we ultimately end up climbing a hierarchy pyramid, the bottom being the bare essentials every human should have a right to, and the top being realization & self-actualization, where your teen wants to be more and do more. Once we have achieved our parental duties and fully molded and guided our teens into incredible young adults, we can see their personalities more clearly. Moving back down that pyramid, we know what makes them tick, their quirks, and their nature without becoming overbearing and overly pushy or involved. ► Miss the first article? Catch up and read it now! Raising Teens Today & Personalities: The 2-way S treet - PART I Raising Teens Today & Personalities: The 2-way Street - PART I Excellent! Our teens are raised exceptionally well, have superb morals and ethics, have a bright outlook on life, and are heading down the right path! So what else is there? As the saying goes: "You can show a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." This phrase means we can raise our teens to be more than capable of handling everything life throws at them and even understand their character deeply (show the horse to water). Only our teens can decide to respect us as adults and parents and understand and respond to our teachings (only the horse can choose to drink). Part two in this series will cover essential parenting dos to ensure your teenager will want to honor, respect, and do good by you—starting by understanding you. ► Practice What You Preach The phrase, "Practice what you preach," has been around for a long time and for a very good reason: because it is TRUE! Luckily for us, it is super easy, and following that advice will make our teens want to honor, respect, and try to understand us as parents and adults. It's time for the teen to understand the parent's personality. To do this is simple. It is so simple that we do not need a fancy hierarchy pyramid, graph, or diagram. We need to be ourselves, that's it. Nothing more. Nothing less. ► Being Yourself Act yourself; do not try to be someone you are not; do not try to put a 24-7 parenting facade on—your teenager will see right through it rather than seeing you , the genuine person they call [enter your name], filled with all the likes and dislikes, hobbies, pet-peeves, tendencies, ticks, quirks, and nuances. I'm confident your teen can see some of your personality and tastes, but can you honestly say they know all of you? If the answer is no, take time to loosen the grip, let down your guard, and let them see the real you. To be clear, I am not suggesting you should tell your teen all of your dirty secrets or shameful discretions if you have any; they aren't your spouse or significant other. They are your teen and are becoming very close to adulthood. It's time they see you as a parent only when you need to be and a close friend when they don't. ► Why Be So Open? If your teenager only sees a parent who is there for them whenever they need, disciplines them when necessary, praises them for jobs well done and efforts made, with authentic, neverending love (if you do this, great job, really!), you may not be doing all that your teen needs . At this point, yes, that is all that we, as parents, are required to do, and if we do it well, we should be acing the parenting department, but teenagers and their perception of parents are more complex than that. Teenagers are looking for more than "Mom" or "Dad." They see everything I mentioned as a requirement so that they can call you such titles. They are craving realism . They want to see more than the stereotypical caring "Mom" or the stern, hardworking "Dad." They want , they long , to see [enter name], AKA YOU and your interests, hobbies, what makes you tick, and your quirks—especially since they know you know all of their ticks and quirks. When they begin to see your interworkings, they will start to respect you and your decisions even more as a parent because you show them a side of vulnerability and humility that doesn't come in the job description of mom or dad. ► Authenticity Amounts to Respect Stating it one more time due to sheer importance: When guiding teenagers into adulthood, an essential parenting do (vs. don't) is to be yourself. They will feel much more respected if they know your emotions and actions are sincere. Just as you feel valued and respected, your teen will feel valued and respected when they see your genuine, raw, and authentic personality in action. It's a 2-way street. Your teen will start to see you from a different perspective, one they can understand and comprehend much easier. Perhaps they see you as one who can be humbled or endures humility, which tends to take away the perception of the "hotshot parent," a killjoy, or power-hungry. Either way, they will begin to know you are human, where mistakes happen. That, like them, you try your best yet receive consequences for poor decisions or actions, all while carrying the same emotions they do. Critically, this makes it much easier to understand and respect. ► Next Level Relationships As your teen begins to peer further behind the curtain of the parent and into the person, your relationship will improve with them. You will always be father-son, mother-daughter, or whatever the circumstance, but now there is a sense of friendship there as well. You could start discussing how work was with them, but not like before. Instead of "Mommy babysat Joey today; it was a good day even though he didn't listen sometimes." the conversation takes more of an emotional, raw, informal, and authentic feel: "I had to babysit Joey today, he was such a pain in the ass, where he would not listen and I had to bribe him or threaten him all day just to get him to behave!" Having a conversation resembling the ladder shows passion, realism, and respect that you can talk with them about most things that otherwise would have been a strict parent vs. friend talk. Your human emotion and not refraining as much over general topics allows your teen to see that vulnerability, passion, and drive they may have never seen before. Furthermore, it will enable them to want to match that emotional enthusiasm and be just as open with you, drawing off your passion and honesty. honest-moments ► Authentic Truths As a parent to a teenager who can let their guard down and be willing to talk the lingo of your teen while giving them respect and staying true to yourself and them brings many benefits. As mentioned, relationships improve tremendously; you do not have to wear the parenting hat as much (after all, they are now teens whom you've parented for 13+ years now and know right from wrong with a good moral code), which will allow for your personality and nature to bloom more freely and easily. In turn, your teenager will also feel more comfortable letting their true personality shine as they mature. Therefore, it will be easier to read their body language, and less likely they will lie. Furthermore, they will significantly respect you and your honesty as you "let your hair down." They would feel more comfortable telling you about a bad situation rather than hiding it and trying to cover it up. ► Parent to Role Model As your teen matures and sees you for who you are, parent and person, they will begin to appreciate you and all you have done for them. They will start to look back, whether it was an incident six weeks or six years ago, and reflect on the times you stuck your neck out or went to bat for them. They will continue to think about it, turn to you here a nd now, and see t hat you treat them like a young adult with age-appropriate rules. Then, realize they can come to you without the fear of being ridiculed, looked down upon, or belittled and, in their own way, really begin to grasp how lucky they are to have you. When your teenager starts thinking this, even if they only think it subconsciously, you have gone from being mom or dad to their role model. That is the ultimate unsaid compliment your teen could ever give you: when they look to you as a role model, looking up to you, knowing everything you have done for them and understanding it. ► Conclusion When done correctly, your stress level as a parent should drop significantly. You will no longer be trying so hard, relationships will begin to cultivate, and your teen will see you in a new light while showing them that you are willing to treat them as a young adult while still governing them with age-appropriate rules. Perfect, right? Nope. You are still the parent. Your primary job is raising your teen, teaching them right from wrong, and disciplining them appropriately. Your teen will still fail and mess up, disappoint, and disobey; that is what they call growing up. Consider it a right of passage to adulthood. There will be disagreements, there will be heartache, there will be fights—this is what builds character in your relationship with your teen. It is vital that being a responsible parent comes before anything because only then will a good relationship with your teen be possible. Conversely, only a healthy, meaningful relationship will be possible if you put being a responsible parent first. No matter how you slice it, being a good parent is essential, first and foremost; only then can you build a good relationship based on you and your teenager's natural, unfiltered personalities. Your Opinion Matters! Leave a comment. Let us know what you think! comments debug Comments Write a comment Write a comment Share Your Thoughts Be the first to write a comment. ▲ Back to Top Start Here! Blogs More More Find us on Social! >>> CurlyStache Blogs: A division of CurlyStache, www.curlystache.com . | Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Copyright notice: All images on this page, including all pages within the https://www.curlystache.com domain, are fully licensed or created for the sole purpose of this website. For additional information, please contact us at admin@curlystache.com

Like most dads, Daddy's little girl for life is how I wanted it to be, but I learned that teenage girls have different plans quickly. In this CurlyStache Mashup, I tell a story and quickly introduce reality—like hitting a brick wall, how it really is, and how to push through. Start Here! Blogs More More Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Find us on Social! >>> You are Here: CurlyStache | Teenage Ambition v. Parental Desire Privacy Policy | Cookies Policy | About Us The Mashup: Short Raising Teens Blog Entries. Opinionated. Grounded in Facts. 007 - 11.18.23 Teenage Ambition v. Parental Desire This Thanksgiving week, I wanted to express my appreciation to all of you who read these blogs and have subscribed to the blog articles. We wouldn't be here without you. If this is your first read, feel free to skim through other posts, like, share, and subscribe to get notifications when the newest articles drop! Enjoy the mashup, where it is opinionated but always grounded in facts! I want to throw out a story about when my daughter finally became a teenager and the experiences that came with it, how I felt as a parent, and how to power through the rough times. Like most dads, Daddy's little girl for life is how I wanted it to be, but I learned that teenage girls have different plans quickly. I remember the day my daughter turned 13. I was excited for the new transition to finally have a slightly older girl, officially a teen, that I could have fun with being the immature father my wife insists I am. But as the years went by, I found myself becoming more and more frustrated with her. She was always on her phone, never did her chores, and seemed to have no interest in anything other than her friends and social media. One day, after a particularly frustrating argument, I decided to step back and really think about what was happening. I realized that I had been focusing so much on what she wasn't doing that I was missing out on all the good she was doing. I decided I needed to sit her down and have a heart-to-heart with her. You know, to clear the air and let her know how much I truly appreciated her. I thanked her for being kind and thoughtful in her own way, always being there for her friends, and goofing off with me, even if it wasn't as much anymore. I told her I was proud of her and loved her more than anything in the world. Needless to say, she was surprised but grateful for what I had to say. We hugged and told each other we loved each other, and our relationship couldn't have been better since. Did anybody reading this catch I used the word "story" in the opening sentence? Yeah, it was a story. Nothing more than a fairy tale with a happy ending. In the real world, young teens are programmed to push the limits in search of individuality and happiness. They will do things we disapprove of, disappoint us, and even hurt us—whether they realize it sometimes or not. That is part of growing up, and that is how they learn. If that is how they learn, am I saying it makes it all right, and they should continue to do whatever they want regardless of how we feel just because they are "programmed" to? Hell no, it's not right. We stay right on them by disciplining them as necessary for mistakes they make. That's how they learn. If they do the wrong thing again in the future, they will know it isn't right (with the reason why), and they have to weigh the "freedom of will" vs. the consequence. The choice is always up to them. It is up to us parents to educate and guide them in the right direction. If they fall, it's crucial to help them back up and never give up on them. Eventually, as they mature and become young adults, they will begin to remember your teachings over the years, be humbled by them, and learn from them once and for all—just as you did! Indeed, our teens will always give us gray hair or cause it to fall out with their fierce quest for independence and happiness. Remember, though, they wouldn't be who they are without your presence, love, guidance, and inability to give up on them. By the same token, without them, you wouldn't be who you are. When a person can have that much influence on another, we describe that as a side effect of love. Let your teen know you are thankful for them this holiday season, even if you don't get the fairy tale ending (I sure didn't!). Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! Relativity Rating What's this? Until next time! Date Saturday, November 18, 2023 Share Blog Episode 007 - "Teenage Ambition v. Parental Desire" (Copy Again) Copy Link Help us spread the word! This is how we grow and flourish as a blog and website. From me to you and your friends. https://www.curlystache.com/mashup/ambition-v-desire What? So, what exactly is the Mashup? Precisely as it sounds: a blend of online writing styles in a format ranging from storytelling and structured to opinionated to factual, formal to casual, and personal to professional—all while ensuring we keep true to the CurlyStache mission of guiding teenagers and raising teens today in a volatile society. The Mashup is designed to be more opinionated, grounded in facts, less researched, and directed to spark ideas and discussions. When? During the weeks I cannot get a blog out, I will fill that void with a Mashup entry. Remember to follow us on Facebook @CurlyStache Blogs and through all your favorite social media outlets to get notified of the newest releases! And be sure to share it with friends and families that could benefit! Why? I enjoy writing and expressing my opinions on essential issues when raising teens today. There are times throughout the week when I cannot get to my computer as much as I would like—or cannot do my due diligence and research a blog to present it how I want it and still be backed by facts. This fills the void. Short articles containing whatever is on my mind grounded in current events relating to parenting and teen issues, writing in whatever style vibing at the time. ▲ Back to Top Start Here! Blogs More More Find us on Social! >>> You are Here: CurlyStache | Teenage Ambition v. Parental Desire Privacy Policy | Cookies Policy | Contact Us CurlyStache Blogs: A division of CurlyStache, www.curlystache.com . | Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Copyright notice: All images on this page, including all pages within the https://www.curlystache.com domain, are fully licensed or created for the sole purpose of this website. For additional information, please contact us at admin@curlystache.com

One of the most essential and overlooked parts of a relationship with your child is the ability to identify and understand their personality. We must know their qualities and tendencies as they become tweens and into teens to improve communication and assist with their moral compass. There are right and wrong ways to go about this; this article will cover all you need to know to get to know your teen's personality. Start Here! Blogs More More Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Find us on Social! >>> Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Raising Te ens Today & Personalities : The 2-way Street PART I One of the most essential and overlooked parts of a robust and healthy relationship with your child, regardless of age, is the ability to identify and understand their personality. It becomes crucial to ensure we know their qualities and tendencies as they become tweens and teens to improve communication and assist with their moral compass. There are right and wrong ways to go about this; this article will cover all you need to know to get to know your teen's personality without becoming overbearing or forcing your personality onto them. I would also like to invite you to stick around next week for part two, where we go into depth on why teenagers need to understand your personality too! You don't want to miss it! Jump to a Section : Raising Teens Today & Personality: The 2-way Street - PART I ► Intro (top of page) ► Personality Tests ► Step Up: The Pyramid ► Enjoy the Summit, Briefly ► Descend: The Pyramid, CAREFULLY ► I Found Their Personality. Now What? ► Conclusion ► Comments — Notations & References — Personality Test: MBTI — Personality Test: Big 5 — The Bare Essentials — Safety Needs — Love & Belonging — Appreciation — Self-Actualization — T he Pyramid Overview — Observe the Tick — Focusing on the Quirk — Finding the Personality in the Middle — Missing the Mark — Accept Their Personality - NEVER resent it! — Why is it so vital to understand their personality? — Crack the Code, Begin Communicating Take a moment and SUBSCRIBE Never miss a blog post Stay informed Newsletters and web-happenings Chance for upcoming freebies & merch ► BUT YOU HAVE TO BE A SUBSCRIBER! DON'T WORRY, IT'S FREE! ◄ Written By DanielCurrie Published: August 21, 2023 Personality Tests When grasping your teenager's personality, there is a right and wrong way to do this. First, when looking for their personality traits as parents, we want details like they came from something other than a painting by Picasso. Instead, we only wish to use broad strokes to get the basics, nothing too specific. In other words, we CANNOT and MUST NOT try to become amateur psychologists and diagnose them. Even if you are a board-certified psychologist, there still should be no need¹. But, if you find yourself doing this or needing to take your child or teen to the doctor for evaluation, or to get a professional opinion, for no other reason but to "find out" what personality your teen has or to see what one of the 16 MBTI traits they possess, you are doing it all wrong. Save Personality Test: MBTI Save There are two well-known personality tests that you can take yourself if you choose for fun. When trying to understand your teenager's personality as a parent, neither of these tests should explicitly define your teen—in the best circumstances, it could be used as a guide. The first test is called the MBTI, which stands for Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, named after the mother & daughter duo, Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter, Isabel Briggs Myers. The pair invented the test after being inspired by the Swiss psychoanalyst Carl Jung on personality theories². For more information on the MBTI, check out SimplyPsycology.org's page³ and use their chart to see how you (or anyone else) stack up! Personality Test: Big 5 The "Big 5" Personality Traits are the second personality of the two tests. The "Big 5" can be considered the broad stroke if the MBTI is the Picasso. Some know it better as OCEAN⁴. OCEAN stands for the five personality traits in the "Big 5": O penness : One who is curious and has imagination. Fondness for the arts, new experiences, and ideas. C onscientiousness : Always working towards achievements, pushing the bar to be the best, and ensuring excellence in part due to self-discipline. E xtraversion : Known as a "people's person," how friendly, energetic, and sociable a person is. They draw energy from being around others. A greeableness : Enjoys peace and harmony. Typically optimistic, generous, and kind while trying to get along with others. N euroticism : Gravitates towards negativity. These types of emotions include but are not limited to anger, anxiety, and depression. Save A parent's role is to raise their children from the ground up. From the day our children are born up to the time they move out as an adult, we, as parents, are continuously trying to raise and sculpt them starting with basic needs, their physiological needs, such as food and shelter. By utilizing Mozlow's Hierarchy of Needs⁵, we can understand what our teens need in life to be great, successful adults. Step Up: The Pyramid Start Save The Bare Essentials As we make our way up the pyramid, we will slowly see glimpses of their personalities; the more we observe, the better communication and relating with them will become. At the base of the pyramid is the bare essentials. Parents should always raise their children with food and shelter, among other necessities. Save Safety Needs Once their basic needs are covered, a parent's duties are far from complete. Next is to address all their safety needs, ensuring a stable and secure life. Ensuring our teens feel comfortable with daily routines, schooling, and extracurricular activities is vital for their emotional growth. Save Love & Belonging Parents that ensure a roof over their teen's head and ensure rides to school are only parenting at 40% (we can all agree there is so much more to parenting; kudos to all you parents out there!) Mentally and emotionally strong teens will always have the best chance for success in life. To establish this for their teen, parents must guarantee their child feels a powerful sense of love and belonging in the home while trying to give them the best chance for emotional success outside the house. Save Appreciation When a strong sense of belonging occurs, their self-esteem, respect, worth, and status will naturally flourish without much guidance or oversight from mom and dad (or guardian). Your teen will begin to show appreciation for themselves and others, giving them a sense of self-actualization or the willingness and eagerness to do something great with their life—the top step in our pyramid. Save Self-Actualization As your teen makes it to the summit of the pyramid and holds their future in their hand confidently, with conviction, and a sense of purpose, you can rest assured that you have done a fantastic job parenting. Pat yourself on the back: as a parent, you've gone from giving your child nothing but merely a roof over their head to showing them the way through life, crucially and perhaps most challenging, by guiding teenagers into adulthood with a sense of purpose. Save Enjoy the Summit, Briefly The steps to raising a solid teenager are complete. Continue maintaining the pyramid by utilizing some of the essential parenting dos and don'ts discussed in previous blog articles. As you continue to support your teen from atop the pyramid, it's time to go back down step by step to obtain insight and improve your relationship with them that much better. As any great, committed parent will agree, a parent's work is never done. Save The Pyramid Overview All the steps are complete, and we've enjoyed the proverbial view from atop the summit and all that we have accomplished as great parents. As you can see, we have some more steps to go, specifically in gaining insight into the minds and personalities of your young ones. Save After raising your teen with essential parenting dos and don'ts—and proving that it has been successful via the pyramid, it is critical to head back down. Why though? We climb the pyramid to raise our teens to the best of our ability but carefully, gradually, and discreetly head back down to UNDERSTAND their personalities, quirks, and what makes them tick. When we do this, it is essential to find the sweet spot and aim for it, trying to keep it manageable. The closer we reach the mark, the better our understanding of our teen will be. Descend: The Pyramid, CAREFULLY End Save Observing the Tick Save The target mark to thoroughly understand their personality is the middle of the pyramid: Love and Belonging. To get there, we need to start at the top, so as we get to know our teens on the self-actualization level with their newfound confidence and ambitions (compliments to your great parenting!), we gain insight into what makes them tick. Understanding their desires, passions, life goals, and what drives them will paint a vivid picture of how they feel about specific topics and self-found morals and ethics. Furthermore, it forces their reasonings and why they may have such a deep conviction regarding certain opinions, beliefs, or ideas. Focusing on the Quirk Now that we understand their desires for life, we also understand why and what makes them tick. Carefully moving down the pyramid, we arrive at the esteem level. This level will show insight into their quirks and reveal more personality. Remember, as we molded our teens in this step, it included building their self-esteem, and emotional strength, liberating them from the fear of ridicule. As the layers peel back and we begin to see our teen's self-esteem thrive, it begins to reveal the quirks that make them unique with their personality that makes them one of a kind. Save Finding the Personality in the Middle Save Arriving at the sweet spot in the pyramid, love & belonging, will show us all we need to know about our teenager's personality. Coupled with their ticks and quirks, studying their enjoyment of friendships and connecting with others will show us how emotionally invested they are in relationships. This pyramid section will reveal their personality and social tendencies with friends and strangers—interactions between others and virtually any emotion. Observing your teen with the mindset of their feelings will establish their personality when trying to understand where they are coming from and what they believe in due to their emotional stance on the situation. Missing the Mark So what happens when we fall short or overshoot the "pyramid" mark? Hitting the target of the Love and Belonging section of the pyramid is difficult and similar to a game of curling. Don't try to overdo it, but make sure you also put enough effort into it. If you put little effort into trying to, you will only scratch the surface and need help understanding what makes them tick. If you try too hard, you will drive them away as you overinvest in analyzing every aspect and appear controlling instead of inviting and supporting. Save I Found Their Personality. Now What? Accept Their Personality - NEVER Resent It! As you learn their personality and what makes them tick and why, figuring out their quirks along the way, under no circumstance should you hold a grudge to it. This is who they are, their personality, and what makes them unique. If you try to change a person's personality because you do not like or approve of it, even if it's just a portion of it, it is the equivalent of saying, "I do not support you (or a part of you), and you must change to meet my expectations." Please note that you must accept and respect their personality; they are entitled to it. Crucially, it does NOT mean you must approve of their tastes and lifestyles. Save Why is it so vital to understand their personality? Your teen will undoubtedly do things you do not approve of at times or, at the very least, go against the grain of your teachings. Once you begin to understand their personality, it will allow for a better understanding of why they do what they do. Furthermore, when you can see their thought process more clearly, even if unapproving, you can begin to appreciate their reasoning, which will translate into better relations. Save Crack the Code, Begin Communicating Continuing to hone in on that sweet spot of understanding their personality will get you closer to understanding the reasoning for their decisions. The more you know about their reasons, the better your relationship will become because you can see both sides more clearly and with less bias. Handling the situation will become more effective when you can talk and relate to your teen, better understanding their thoughts. Save Conclusion In the end, if you can better understand and communicate with your teen, the more and easier you will get through to them the way you want. Despite teens being teens and rolling their eyes, if you can understand their personality, the more you will connect and communicate with your teen, the more your relationship will improve. There is one other part to the personality equation: the teen. We can attempt to talk and woo our teens since we know the tricks to their personalities, but it will only work effectively if our teens are willing to meet us halfway. Stay tuned next week for the 2nd part of the two-part series on teens needing to understand their parent's personalities and how to handle personality changes. Your Opinion Matters! Leave a comment. Let us know what you think! comments debug Comments Write a comment Write a comment Share Your Thoughts Be the first to write a comment. ▲ Back to Top Start Here! Blogs More More Find us on Social! >>> CurlyStache Blogs: A division of CurlyStache, www.curlystache.com . | Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Copyright notice: All images on this page, including all pages within the https://www.curlystache.com domain, are fully licensed or created for the sole purpose of this website. For additional information, please contact us at admin@curlystache.com Notations & References ¹ This blog is written for children and teens under normal circumstances, with no mental or physical issues requiring a neurologist, psychologist, or other specialist. If you have questions about your child's psychological or physical health, check with your healthcare provider first. This article is NOT intended to assist in any diagnosis or to prove/disprove any medical conditions. ²5 things you didn't know about the history of the Myers-Briggs system by Janet Nguyen ³How The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Works: 16 Personality Types by Julia Simkus, reviewed by Saul Mcleod, Ph.D. ⁴The creative personality: Which of the Big 5 Personality Traits is associated with creativity by Nick Skillicorn ⁵Maslow's Hierarchy Of Needs by Saul Mcleod , Ph.D., reviewed by Olivia Guy Evans

Staying vigilant with your teen on simple cyber security measures and talking with them could mean the difference between having their digital life ruined, emotions and state of mind uprooted and put in a tailspin, and being confident and mindful of the potential threat of prying eyes. Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Start Here! Blogs More More Find us on Social! >>> You are Here: CurlyStache | 3 Priceless Tools to Prevent Costly Lifechanging Mistakes Privacy Policy | Cookies Policy | Contact Us 3 Priceless Tools to Prevent Costly Lifechanging Mistakes EMPOWER YOU AND YOUR TEEN TO TRIUMPH OVER ABUSE & ONLINE SCAMS Unlock the untapped power with the basics Get ahead of the game with 3 ELEGANTLY SIMPLE solutions to become successful with online SECURITY AND SAFETY There are hundreds of threats today, not just in cyberspace but everywhere you turn. It is vital to ensure we keep the privacy and protection of our loved ones, particularly our children and teens. For today, though, we will concentrate on online threats, what to look for, and what to do to ensure we protect our loved ones the best we can. Written By Daniel Currie Published: October 16, 2023 Comment! Like the article or think it could help somebody else? Get the word out! Never miss a Blog Post! Share it! Share your perspectives with others (Copy Again) Copy Link Share Blog https://www.curlystache.com/3-priceless-tools-to-prevent-costly-lifechanging-mistakes Follow us on Social! Daily memes to get you through the day Updates on blog releases Interactive, live events, polls, engaging Behind the scenes with CurlyStache Sign-up to be notified when new blogs drop today! INTRO This week's blog is a PSA for what we must do to protect ourselves regarding technology since the Internet, smartphones, computers, and tablets are undoubtedly an everyday use for our teens—whether it be for entertainment, communication, education, or work. Staying vigilant with your teens on simple security measures and talking with them could mean the difference between having their digital life ruined, emotions and state of mind uprooted and put in a tailspin, and being confident and mindful of the potential threat of prying eyes . #1 Rule to Embrace Like the Internet: 2-way Communication To begin, sitting down and talking with your teens is crucial. The younger, the better; if they use the Internet in any way, they need to know the potential dangers and how to stay sharp, watchful, and attentive to their surroundings. It is critical to ensure they are careful in what they do and the information they put on the Internet; being careless, oblivious, or even simply taking the power of the Internet for granted could be costly. Furthermore, stalkers and predators are a real threat, with absolutely no way to know if the person on the other end of the screen is who they say they are. It is vital to ensure your young teen understands that unless they know the person in "real life," they do not know them at all, regardless of the online relationship and its duration. Explain to your teen that "online only" friends have the potential to do harm. These are the stalkers and predators waiting patiently for their prey (AKA, potentially your teen). These people are perhaps the most camouflaged, discreet, and devious individuals for their craft as they search for the victim's weakness and exploit it; the worst part is that there is no way of knowing. Many stalkers and predators, despite wanting the desired outcome quickly, play the long game for weeks, months, and years to ultimately earn their victim's trust, making it much more important to stay sharp and diligent. In addition, go over scams and online shopping. There are millions of scams and two terrific ways to weed them out. The first is to confirm the purchase or offer. Verify that it comes from a reputable company or vendor like Amazon. At the very least, it should come from a reputable sales platform like eBay. Additionally, it should ALWAYS have the padlock icon, typically in the address bar, indicating that the site is secure. It is also a good sign when alternate, well-known payment options are accepted besides standard credit cards; PayPal is an excellent example of this. Secondly, and perhaps easier, if the item or service requires any type of payment, whether billed to your Apple account, your cellphone carrier, or ISP, or upfront via a credit card, simply have you, the parent, approve the purchase. It is highly recommended to do this because of the "read between the line" purchases . For example, your teen may find an ad for "FREE Ringtones!" and download it, not realizing there is an astronomical monthly fee associated with the download. Regardless, it then shows up on your credit card a month later. To assist with these situations, most devices, apps, and programs have preset settings allowing passwords or PINs to authorize purchases. In doing this, you are now ensuring that if anything happens, it is your responsibility, the mature adult, and not your teenager's. #2 Rule to Embrace Protect the Physical Stuff! After the "Cyber Talk," it is just as imperative to have all physical hands-on devices secured with a password, PIN, or pattern. Biometrics are a good option, although they can be spoofed or inaccurate sometimes; needless to say, my teen has been able to use facial recognition to get into my phone because our appearances are very similar in the right light. Password (best) : 75+ characters to choose from. The more characters and symbols, the better. The more frequently changed, the better. It is complicated to hack and has no "guesswork"; it is either correct—or not. PIN (good) : 10 characters to choose from. The longer, the better. The more frequently changed, the better. It's easier to enter than passwords and is considered a good alternative. Pattern (fair) : Connecting Points, usually 9-16 points. The more complex the pattern, the more difficult it is to crack. It is easier to enter than passwords and PINs and is suitable for swiping on touchscreens. Biometrics (not 100% reliable) : Typically face or fingerprint recognition. It is easiest but not guaranteed, so the device requires a backup method. No protection (100% vulnerable) : If any accounts or apps are active on that device, depending on the account authorization, it could be as little as ruining your high score to as damaging as fraud and stealing identities. #3 Rule to Embrace Got Internet? Armor Up! Sure, we can ensure nobody can hack into our devices with compliments of an excellent password or PIN, but what about all the data and information stored on the device? That's the thing about the Internet: it is a 2-way street as long as the device is connected to the Internet, regardless of how (i.e., hard cable, WiFi, cellular, or Bluetooth). Not only can you access whatever your heart desires, such as this blog article, but virtually anyone with the right skillset can access your device with or without the screen being on and unlocked . There are 4 primary classifications of malicious programs that you and your teen should be familiar with and why being diligent in the Internet safety department is so paramount: Malware : If it is malicious in any aspect, it is classified as malicious software, AKA Malware. Generally speaking, anything not classified as spyware, virus, or trojan horses (although they are also a form of malware). Spyware : A type of malware where malicious software allows a third party to take information off your computer without your consent or knowledge. Examples of spyware (malicious software) include AntiVirus 360, UltimateCleaner, and Windows Police Pro. Virus : Another type of malware, a piece of software or code that enters a device's operating system disguised as a program or app or attaches itself to a program or app upon its download. Its sole purpose is manipulating it into actions that damage or impede its performance. Trojan Horse : Programs or apps that appear harmless or helpful to the user, such as utilities. Once installed, the trojan horse creator, AKA the hacker, inserts malware into the operating system to achieve the hacker's desired purpose. Regardless of which type, it usually starts with the user downloading the malicious tools needed for the attacker to take control or acquire the targeted data without even realizing they did it. These downloaded, malicious codes often come in free apps or programs or from an unsecured and/or untrusted download source. In the 2-way street, this is considered the first direction, or the download, where malicious programs, viruses, and hackers download their code into the device. Typically, when a counterfeit or sketchy app or program is downloaded without safeguards, the code or virus attaches to it and gets to work on the device or waits dormant for instructions from its creator. After the malware is downloaded, on the other side of the street is upload, where the malicious program, virus, or hacker will return the personal information they seek back up to their server or computer. Once that happens and the files return to the server or computer, the successful hack of your teen's personal and private data concludes . Virus protection and device software and firmware updates are imperative to stay ahead of the game and prevent the successful closed loop of data theft from happening. For instance, the updates you see on your phone are for security updates and maintaining the most current security definitions. Think of it like an actual human virus; with vaccines and immunizations, the virus will begin to weaken but, in self-preservation, will mutate to survive and, if left unchecked, will begin to thrive again, making booster shots essential—and the same goes for cyber viruses. They frequently change appearance, looking more and more like legit code . When a new virus is found, the "legitimate programmers" update their programs and apps to ensure the new virus doesn't attack. Suppose the app, program, or even browser is not properly equipped with a bit of armor to avoid unwanted visitors—or you keep deciding not to update your phone or tablet. In that case, the potential is high for carnage to the device and to your personal and private data, which could lead to identity theft or worse . This is why protection on your devices is critical; it's like Internet password protection for your device! Conclusion No matter how you slice it, with the amount of technology we use daily, it is paramount to stay vigilant in keeping our privacy, well, private! You could literally save your teens' identity and emotional crises by ensuring they understand the importance and seriousness of the Internet. Even though the Internet is a place to educate, communicate, entertain, and get lost in its infinite possibilities, you and your teen will be just fine with a bit of understanding and protection. Read More Previous Blog Newest Mashup Is your teen lacking courage or confidence in social scenarios? Help them seize the moment and conquer obstacles with remarkable outcomes! How to Foster Positive Relations with Socially Awkward Teens Written By: Daniel Currie Published on: September 25, 2023 🫶 Read Now 👉 This Mashup article, episode 002, is geared towards self-educating to better hone parenting skills. Dive deeper! Each of the 4 styles comes with a sub-blog link in the article. Uncover 4 Superior Parenting Styles Written By: Daniel Currie Published on: October 11, 2023 🤏 Read Now 👉 Additional Blogs Find all the CurlyStache blogs where Raising Teens Today is at its core right here! Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts is the theme! 👊 Browse Now 👉 Additional Mashups Short 3-minute Blogs where there is no criteria or format. The Mashup slogan says it all: Short Raising Teens Blog Entries. Opinionated. Grounded in Facts. 👌Browse Now 👉 Comments Let us know what you think, the floor is yours! ▲ Back to Top Start Here! Blogs More More Find us on Social! >>> You are Here: CurlyStache | 3 Priceless Tools to Prevent Costly Lifechanging Mistakes Privacy Policy | Cookies Policy | Contact Us CurlyStache Blogs: A division of CurlyStache, www.curlystache.com . | Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Copyright notice: All images on this page, including all pages within the https://www.curlystache.com domain, are fully licensed or created for the sole purpose of this website. For additional information, please contact us at admin@curlystache.com

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