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Explore teen tattoos: a journey between allure and maturity. Discover insights and perspectives on navigating this rite of passage to adulthood. Read now. Navigating Teen Tattoos: Guide for Understanding & Support Written By : Daniel Currie Published On : 4 /8 /2023 In this final installment on properly handling your teen wanting a tattoo, I will cover three crucial actions . These actions are geared to ensure you and your teen or young adult can meet in the middle and alleviate any stress or animosity that may come with their bold decision. Most of all, if they get a tattoo, these three steps will show how to ensure they end up with a masterpiece- not a disasterpiece. Missed the first post? Catch up! Tattoo Decisions: Wisdom Beyond Ink, a Personal Journey You've just explored my eye-opening personal story. Now empower yourself with our expert guide on confidently tackling the moment your teen approaches you about getting a tattoo. Read Article! 👉 Relativity Rating: High Schoolers & Young Adults What's this? Blog Focus: Tattoos & Piercings Read Time: 3 minutes Ac tion #1 My child is getting a tattoo. Support or Suppress? We must remember, yes, we are the parents, and we should have a say in their decisions- but we also need to remember that they are now 18 years old and have a legal right to their bodies. R egardless of age, we should NEVER suppress our children, no matter how foolish we feel their decision-making is. That will not only make them feel belittled but also damage their self-esteem. Instead, be direct, express yourself, and articulate your reasoning; give them an example of why you feel this way. Your goal isn't to make them feel like you are grabbing them by the collar as they run full force. Instead, you want to gently steer them in a direction that both works for you and them. Ac tion #2 Honest heart-to-heart Talk. Even if we do not agree with a tattoo or the representation of the tattoo, we should always attempt to find the middle ground. For example, let's change roles for a moment: you were the one who wanted the tattoo, but your parent decided for YOU that you could not get one despite you having a legal right to one now. That's a recipe for disaster. As the saying goes, "You get more flies with honey than with vinegar," meaning you will get a lot further in your quest when you have an honest heart-to-heart talk. Your impressionable teen is far more likely to listen to your concerns when there is mutual respect. In addition, there must be two-way communication rather than one-way- or worse, going full-on dictator mode on them. Ac tion #3 Subtle Suggestions. You can quickly tell if your child is serious about a tattoo, which means one of two things will happen at this point. One, if they are not sincere and it feels like they may be doing it out of spite, due to increasing peer pressure, or it is the newest fad, as mentioned in the first part of this series, then you are going to want to pull out all of the tricks and subtly steer them away from the idea without forcing your will onto them. But, remember, it is their body; we must be good parents and help guide the young mind on its path. Now, if your teen has a well-thought-out and organized plan for it, and it is undeniable that they have been planning for some time now, then offer your suggestions if they merit. For instance, if they plan on putting it on their wrist, you could steer them away from that location if it is a questionable or particular design that could become a disasterpiece in the long-term. Now, obviously, every situation is different. Still, an example of giving some subtle advice is suggesting putting the design on the lower back of their neck so it can be seen and hidden depending on their attire, and they would not need to look at it if they don't want to. Conclusion Bottom line on what to expect. Respecting the decision of our young adults is their best decision as well as ours. Remember, we do not necessarily have to like their decision, but we must be adamant about respecting it. As (technically) young adults, they can now choose their path in life, whatever it may be. It was up to us as parents during the first 18 years to mold them into what we wanted and needed them to be. Now, all we can do is be there for them during the "good and bad" and hope they will come to us for some advice when they need it, as they realize we've been around the block, too. Enjoy it? Spread the word and share it with the masses! Facebook X (Twitter) WhatsApp LinkedIn Pinterest Copy link And don't forget to voice your thoughts and share your feedback below! comments debug Comments Write a comment Write a comment Share Your Thoughts Be the first to write a comment. Tour our Mashup Collection! Up Mashup Home Up Explore our Blog Vault Now! Up Our Library Up

Discover 6 essential techniques to de-escalate teen anger, complete with expert advice, real-life applications, and unique homework to strengthen your bond. Six Techniques to Calm Your Angry Teen Effectively Enjoy the 3rd part of our GT Exclusive 4-part series on Teen Anger! Written By : Daniel Currie Published On : 2/26/2024 Navigating the turbulent waves of teenage anger isn't for the faint of heart. In our journey together, we've uncovered the roots of teen anger and armed ourselves with strategies for managing it, as discussed in our previous posts. Now, we delve into the art of de-escalation, a crucial skill in transforming potential conflict into an opportunity for understanding and growth. Missed the first 2 articles? No problem, catch up! Part I: Understanding Teen Anger: Roots, Mental Health, and Seeking Help Discover the root of teen anger, discern its ties to mental health, and learn when professional help is crucial. Empower your journey to understanding and action. Part II: Empowering Teens to Manage Anger: Strategies and Tools Dive deeper into practical strategies and tools that empower teens to manage their anger, fostering emotional resilience and self-awareness for a balanced life. Table of Contents ►Stay Calm ►Listen Actively ►Validate Their Feelings ►Use Calming Techniques Together ►Set Clear Boundaries ►Choose Your Battles ►Conclusion Blog Focus: Read Time: Behavior & Mental Health 6 minutes Relativity Rating: Adolecence What's this? #1 : Stay Calm The Technique in Detail : In the heat of the moment, your ability to remain calm is your strongest ally. It's about embodying the serenity you wish to see in your teen. Not only does this help defuse immediate tension, but it also teaches them by example how to handle their own emotions. Real-Life Application : Sarah, a parent I've worked closely with, shared a pivotal moment when she chose to respond with calmness to her son's outburst. This approach allowed the situation to de-escalate quickly, leading to a heartfelt conversation that wouldn't have been possible otherwise. Similarly, maintaining my composure when my teen's emotions were sky-high has paved the way for more open conversations and fewer screaming matches. Expert Quote : "The calmness of a parent is the cornerstone of de-escalation in family conflicts." - Dr. Laura Kastner, Clinical Psychologist (Find this in "Wise-Minded Parenting") Problem & Solution : Reacting emotionally can escalate the situation. The key is to model the calm behavior you want to see, providing a mirror for your teen's emotional regulation. Practicing mindfulness or deep breathing prepares you for these moments. Homework Assignment : The "Time-In Together" challenge. Next time tensions rise, choose to stay present with your teen in a shared space, engaging in silent solidarity for a few minutes. This act of non-verbal support speaks volumes. #2 : Listen Actively The Technique in Detail : Active listening involves fully engaging with your teen's words, emotions, and underlying messages. It means setting aside your own thoughts and judgments to truly hear them, showing that their feelings and perspectives are valued and essential. Real-Life Application : Mark, another parent I've had the pleasure of helping, transformed his relationship with his teenager by practicing active listening. Echoing his child's words made his teen feel seen and heard, significantly lowering the emotional temperature. Reflecting on my own interactions, adopting a stance of genuine curiosity about my teen's feelings has led to more meaningful exchanges and mutual respect. Expert Quote : "Listening is about being present, not just being quiet." - Kristin Wilson, MA, LPC (Find this in "The Gift of Listening") Problem & Solution : Reacting emotionally can escalate the situation. The key is to model the calm behavior you want to see, providing a mirror for your teen's emotional regulation. Practicing mindfulness or deep breathing prepares you for these moments. Homework Assignment : The "Time-In Together" challenge. Next time tensions rise, choose to stay present with your teen in a shared space, engaging in silent solidarity for a few minutes. This act of non-verbal support speaks volumes. #3 : Validate Their Feelings The Technique in Detail : Validation doesn't equate to agreement but acknowledges the teen's feelings as legitimate. It's a powerful tool in your de-escalation arsenal, showing your teen that their emotions are seen and taken seriously, regardless of the situation. Real-Life Application : Emily's story stands out. She found that validating her daughter's feelings, even when they seemed disproportionate to the situation, built a bridge of trust between them. My journey as a parent mirrors this; acknowledging my teen's feelings has often been the first vital step toward resolution and understanding. Expert Quote : "Validation is the first step toward empathy." - Dr. John Gottman, Psychologist (Find this in "The Gottman Institute’s Guide to Emotional Intelligence") Problem & Solution : Teens often feel their emotions are dismissed. By acknowledging their feelings as real and significant, you affirm their right to feel. This transformation can turn a confrontational dynamic into one of cooperation and respect. Homework Assignment : Implement the "Emotion Word of the Day." Introduce a new feeling word daily, using it in conversation with your teen. This broadens their emotional vocabulary for better communication and articulation of their anger in the future. Additionally, it demonstrates your commitment to understanding their world. #4 : Using Calming Techniques Together The Technique in Detail : Engaging in calming activities with your teen can be a powerful non-verbal communication tool, signaling that you're both on the same team. It provides a shared experience that can diffuse tension and foster connection, offering a peaceful counterpoint to the storm of anger. Real-Life Application : Lisa, a dedicated mother I advised, discovered that walks with her son during tense times created a neutral ground for open conversation. She recently emailed me to express her gratitude, sharing that their daily walks have brought them exceptionally closer. Similarly, finding activities that both my teen and I enjoy, like discussing football or music, has opened new avenues for communication and bonding, reminding us of our connection beyond the conflict. Expert Quote : "Shared activities can act as a non-verbal dialogue that opens doors to emotional connection." - Dr. Sheila Modir, Pediatric Psychologist (Find this in "The Stress-Reducing Family") Problem & Solution : Breaking the cycle of anger can be challenging. Introducing calming shared activities offers both a distraction and a way to reconnect. Choose activities that are calming, neutral, and enjoyable for both of you, fostering a sense of unity and understanding. Homework Assignment : The "Creative Co-learning Challenge." Together, pick an activity neither of you is familiar with. The shared learning experience can lead to laughter and a sense of shared accomplishment, lightening the mood and strengthening your bond. #5 : Set Clear Boundaries The Technique in Detail : Establishing clear boundaries is essential for maintaining respect and understanding in any relationship. In the context of de-escalating teen anger, it helps both parties understand the limits of acceptable behavior, creating a safe space for emotions to be expressed constructively. Real-Life Application : My good buddy Tom's experience with setting boundaries for respectful communication significantly transformed his household's dynamic. "It leads to more constructive conversations and less conflict," he shared with me. Similarly, in my own home, our established boundaries have been pivotal in maintaining harmony, even amid disagreements. Expert Quote : "Boundaries are the lifelines of healthy relationships." - Dr. Henry Cloud, Psychologist (Find this in "Boundaries") Problem & Solution : Enforcing boundaries during emotional turmoil can be daunting. The solution lies in consistency and clarity, explaining the rationale behind these boundaries and the consequences of crossing them. Homework Assignment : The "Boundary Blueprint." Sit down with your teen to outline acceptable and unacceptable behaviors during disagreements. This co-created document serves as a mutual agreement, reinforcing respect and understanding. #6 : Choose Your Battles The Technique in Detail : Deciding which conflicts to engage in and which to let pass is a strategic component of de-escalation. It's about identifying the battles that truly matter, preserving energy and emotional bandwidth for the issues that are most significant to your relationship's health and your teen's well-being. Real-Life Application : Learning to choose my battles was a turning point in my relationship with my teen. It meant letting go of the inconsequential to focus on what truly mattered, fostering a more peaceful and respectful home environment. Many parents, like myself, find that this approach not only reduces overall conflict but also highlights the importance of the issues that we do choose to address. Expert Quote : "Choosing your battles wisely means knowing what is worth fighting for." - Dr. Phil McGraw (Find this in "Life Strategies") Problem & Solution : It's tempting to address every issue that arises, but this can lead to unnecessary tension. The solution is to critically assess the long-term importance of each conflict. If it won't matter in a year, it may not be worth the emotional investment now. Homework Assignment : Practice the "24-Hour Rule." When a potential conflict arises, wait 24 hours before addressing it. This pause can provide perspective, helping you decide if it's truly worth pursuing or better left alone. Conclusion: Navigating the Journey Together As we continue to explore the complexities of teen anger through this series, it's clear that de-escalation is not just about managing immediate conflicts but about building a foundation of understanding, respect, and empathy that can withstand the storms of adolescence. Stay tuned for our final installment, where we'll offer top tips for dealing with teen anger, drawing together the threads of understanding, management, and de-escalation into a comprehensive strategy for nurturing a peaceful, supportive family environment. Remember, this journey is one of mutual growth and learning. Each step forward, guided by these techniques and the insights from our previous discussions on understanding and managing teen anger, brings us closer to a relationship marked by deeper connection and mutual respect. Enjoy it? Spread the word and share it with the masses! Facebook X (Twitter) WhatsApp LinkedIn Pinterest Copy link And don't forget to voice your thoughts and share your feedback below! I would love to hear your success stories and how you handled it! comments debug Comments Write a comment Write a comment Share Your Thoughts Be the first to write a comment. Check out our 3-minute Mashups Up Mashup Home Up or bask in our full-length blogs! Up Our Library Up

Teens deeply desire to understand our personalities and what makes us tick—much like we want to understand them. Ensuring they know our honest personalities enhances relationships and their ability to understand, making clear your expectations. Furthermore, being honest with them about your true self will add consistency to your decisions, disciplines, and rewards without even needing to try. Start Here! Blogs More More Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Find us on Social! >>> Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Delivering Authentic Meaningful Relationships with Your Teen by Being YOURSELF I introduce the shoe on the other foot in the second installment of Raising Teens Today & Personalities: The 2-way Street. Achieving an authentic and meaningful relationship with my teens is the crux of all I want to do as a parent, like all parents. Furthermore, I would like to be my (authentic) self with them, taking off the "dad hat" or lifting the brim so they can see within. I would love to let them see my raw personality, pure feelings, and sincere emotions without worry or ridicule. The good news is that this is EXACTLY what our teenage children desperately want and need! They deeply desire to understand our personalities, ticks, quirks, tendencies, and nuances just as we need to know theirs. Ensuring they know our personalities will enhance their ability to understand and make clear your expectations. Being honest about your true self will also add consistency to your decisions, disciplines, and rewards without even needing to try. This article will detail the benefits of allowing your natural, unfiltered personality to flourish and why doing this with your teenager is necessary. Jump to a Section : Raising Teens Today & Personality: The 2-way Street - PART II ► Intro (top of page) ► Recap ► Practice What You Preach ► Being Yourself ► Why Be So Open? ► Authenticity Amounts to Respect ► Next Level Relationships ► Authentic Truths ► Parent to Role Model ► Conclusion ► Comments Take a moment and SUBSCRIBE Never miss a blog post Stay informed Newsletters and web-happenings Chance for upcoming freebies & merch ► BUT YOU HAVE TO BE A SUBSCRIBER! DON'T WORRY, IT'S FREE! ◄ Written By DanielCurrie Published: September 4, 2023 Recap As discussed in the 1st part of our Raising Teens Today & Personalities article, while we continue guiding teenagers, we ultimately end up climbing a hierarchy pyramid, the bottom being the bare essentials every human should have a right to, and the top being realization & self-actualization, where your teen wants to be more and do more. Once we have achieved our parental duties and fully molded and guided our teens into incredible young adults, we can see their personalities more clearly. Moving back down that pyramid, we know what makes them tick, their quirks, and their nature without becoming overbearing and overly pushy or involved. ► Miss the first article? Catch up and read it now! Raising Teens Today & Personalities: The 2-way S treet - PART I Raising Teens Today & Personalities: The 2-way Street - PART I Excellent! Our teens are raised exceptionally well, have superb morals and ethics, have a bright outlook on life, and are heading down the right path! So what else is there? As the saying goes: "You can show a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." This phrase means we can raise our teens to be more than capable of handling everything life throws at them and even understand their character deeply (show the horse to water). Only our teens can decide to respect us as adults and parents and understand and respond to our teachings (only the horse can choose to drink). Part two in this series will cover essential parenting dos to ensure your teenager will want to honor, respect, and do good by you—starting by understanding you. ► Practice What You Preach The phrase, "Practice what you preach," has been around for a long time and for a very good reason: because it is TRUE! Luckily for us, it is super easy, and following that advice will make our teens want to honor, respect, and try to understand us as parents and adults. It's time for the teen to understand the parent's personality. To do this is simple. It is so simple that we do not need a fancy hierarchy pyramid, graph, or diagram. We need to be ourselves, that's it. Nothing more. Nothing less. ► Being Yourself Act yourself; do not try to be someone you are not; do not try to put a 24-7 parenting facade on—your teenager will see right through it rather than seeing you , the genuine person they call [enter your name], filled with all the likes and dislikes, hobbies, pet-peeves, tendencies, ticks, quirks, and nuances. I'm confident your teen can see some of your personality and tastes, but can you honestly say they know all of you? If the answer is no, take time to loosen the grip, let down your guard, and let them see the real you. To be clear, I am not suggesting you should tell your teen all of your dirty secrets or shameful discretions if you have any; they aren't your spouse or significant other. They are your teen and are becoming very close to adulthood. It's time they see you as a parent only when you need to be and a close friend when they don't. ► Why Be So Open? If your teenager only sees a parent who is there for them whenever they need, disciplines them when necessary, praises them for jobs well done and efforts made, with authentic, neverending love (if you do this, great job, really!), you may not be doing all that your teen needs . At this point, yes, that is all that we, as parents, are required to do, and if we do it well, we should be acing the parenting department, but teenagers and their perception of parents are more complex than that. Teenagers are looking for more than "Mom" or "Dad." They see everything I mentioned as a requirement so that they can call you such titles. They are craving realism . They want to see more than the stereotypical caring "Mom" or the stern, hardworking "Dad." They want , they long , to see [enter name], AKA YOU and your interests, hobbies, what makes you tick, and your quirks—especially since they know you know all of their ticks and quirks. When they begin to see your interworkings, they will start to respect you and your decisions even more as a parent because you show them a side of vulnerability and humility that doesn't come in the job description of mom or dad. ► Authenticity Amounts to Respect Stating it one more time due to sheer importance: When guiding teenagers into adulthood, an essential parenting do (vs. don't) is to be yourself. They will feel much more respected if they know your emotions and actions are sincere. Just as you feel valued and respected, your teen will feel valued and respected when they see your genuine, raw, and authentic personality in action. It's a 2-way street. Your teen will start to see you from a different perspective, one they can understand and comprehend much easier. Perhaps they see you as one who can be humbled or endures humility, which tends to take away the perception of the "hotshot parent," a killjoy, or power-hungry. Either way, they will begin to know you are human, where mistakes happen. That, like them, you try your best yet receive consequences for poor decisions or actions, all while carrying the same emotions they do. Critically, this makes it much easier to understand and respect. ► Next Level Relationships As your teen begins to peer further behind the curtain of the parent and into the person, your relationship will improve with them. You will always be father-son, mother-daughter, or whatever the circumstance, but now there is a sense of friendship there as well. You could start discussing how work was with them, but not like before. Instead of "Mommy babysat Joey today; it was a good day even though he didn't listen sometimes." the conversation takes more of an emotional, raw, informal, and authentic feel: "I had to babysit Joey today, he was such a pain in the ass, where he would not listen and I had to bribe him or threaten him all day just to get him to behave!" Having a conversation resembling the ladder shows passion, realism, and respect that you can talk with them about most things that otherwise would have been a strict parent vs. friend talk. Your human emotion and not refraining as much over general topics allows your teen to see that vulnerability, passion, and drive they may have never seen before. Furthermore, it will enable them to want to match that emotional enthusiasm and be just as open with you, drawing off your passion and honesty. honest-moments ► Authentic Truths As a parent to a teenager who can let their guard down and be willing to talk the lingo of your teen while giving them respect and staying true to yourself and them brings many benefits. As mentioned, relationships improve tremendously; you do not have to wear the parenting hat as much (after all, they are now teens whom you've parented for 13+ years now and know right from wrong with a good moral code), which will allow for your personality and nature to bloom more freely and easily. In turn, your teenager will also feel more comfortable letting their true personality shine as they mature. Therefore, it will be easier to read their body language, and less likely they will lie. Furthermore, they will significantly respect you and your honesty as you "let your hair down." They would feel more comfortable telling you about a bad situation rather than hiding it and trying to cover it up. ► Parent to Role Model As your teen matures and sees you for who you are, parent and person, they will begin to appreciate you and all you have done for them. They will start to look back, whether it was an incident six weeks or six years ago, and reflect on the times you stuck your neck out or went to bat for them. They will continue to think about it, turn to you here a nd now, and see t hat you treat them like a young adult with age-appropriate rules. Then, realize they can come to you without the fear of being ridiculed, looked down upon, or belittled and, in their own way, really begin to grasp how lucky they are to have you. When your teenager starts thinking this, even if they only think it subconsciously, you have gone from being mom or dad to their role model. That is the ultimate unsaid compliment your teen could ever give you: when they look to you as a role model, looking up to you, knowing everything you have done for them and understanding it. ► Conclusion When done correctly, your stress level as a parent should drop significantly. You will no longer be trying so hard, relationships will begin to cultivate, and your teen will see you in a new light while showing them that you are willing to treat them as a young adult while still governing them with age-appropriate rules. Perfect, right? Nope. You are still the parent. Your primary job is raising your teen, teaching them right from wrong, and disciplining them appropriately. Your teen will still fail and mess up, disappoint, and disobey; that is what they call growing up. Consider it a right of passage to adulthood. There will be disagreements, there will be heartache, there will be fights—this is what builds character in your relationship with your teen. It is vital that being a responsible parent comes before anything because only then will a good relationship with your teen be possible. Conversely, only a healthy, meaningful relationship will be possible if you put being a responsible parent first. No matter how you slice it, being a good parent is essential, first and foremost; only then can you build a good relationship based on you and your teenager's natural, unfiltered personalities. Your Opinion Matters! Leave a comment. Let us know what you think! comments debug Comments Write a comment Write a comment Share Your Thoughts Be the first to write a comment. ▲ Back to Top Start Here! Blogs More More Find us on Social! >>> CurlyStache Blogs: A division of CurlyStache, www.curlystache.com . | Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Copyright notice: All images on this page, including all pages within the https://www.curlystache.com domain, are fully licensed or created for the sole purpose of this website. For additional information, please contact us at admin@curlystache.com

A short raising teens blog, 3 minutes long, with multiple writing styles. This week's episode 002, is geared towards self-educating to better hone parenting skills. Dive deeper! Each of the 4 styles comes with a sub-blog link in the article. The Mashup: Raising Teens Blog Entries. Opinionated. Grounded in Facts. Start Here! Blogs More More Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Find us on Social! >>> The Mashup: Short Raising Teens Blog Entries. Opinionated. Grounded in Facts. 002 - 10.11.23 Uncover 4 Superior Parenting Styles I want to bring back an oldie but goodie in this episode. One of the first blog series I wrote was on parenting styles. This Mashup post is geared towards self-education, giving you the tools to identify the type of parent you are in the eyes of professionals, scholars, psychologists, and doctors. Revealing these 4 parenting styles will allow you to identify your style and objectively and clearly understand your strengths and weaknesses, bettering yourself as a parent. Furthermore, it gives you a solid benchmark, allowing you to take a step back and identify your progress in your parenting quest compared to where you want to be, allowing new and improved goals to be set. Regardless, I assure you, nobody is perfect. Despite having four identifiable parenting classifications, nobody falls perfectly into one specific category—which is a good thing! This is what makes us extraordinary, unique parents! We all have our distinctive version of parenting. Without further ado, here are the 4 types. Neglectful Parenting It may sound rough, saying you could be a "neglectful" person- especially regarding your child- but it doesn't mean you don't love and care for them. The primary characteristics include the following: Absent, uninvolved, and freedom-giving Guidance and emotional support are rare Indifferent to the nourishing of their social, behavioral, and emotional life Basic needs are the parent's primary role (food, shelter, clothing) Read the full article on Neglectful Parenting here! Permissive Parenting This style has become more popular recently with the assistance of social media and various human rights movements, concentrating on their child's needs in excess. Characteristics of a permissive parent include: Parent/child relationship is primarily child-driven (Over)indulges their child with rewards to dodge conflicts There are very few rules; they are very inconstantly enforced or not enforced at all Parents are very nourishing to their children but find it challenging to impose limitations and boundaries Read the full article on Permissive Parenting here! Authoritarian Parenting Although firm and rigid, this type of parenting is still fairly popular for many reasons, including how the parent was raised, culture, religion, and nationality. In recent years, however, this style has declined as more parents find permissive parenting a compelling choice. A few traits of an authoritarian parent are: Parent/child relationship is primarily parent-driven Very rigid and strict household rules that set very harsh punishments Indifferent to the nourishing of their social and emotional life Communication is typically one-way from parent to child Read the full article on Authoritarian Parenting here! Authoritative Parenting Authoritative parenting has been best described as a happy medium between the permissive and authoritarian styles, pulling from the best of both worlds. Parents strive for this most popular type, even if they fall short and land in another category. Some of the key points are: Parents are responsive, supportive, and nurturing Sets firm rules set in the home; parents are willing to listen and reason but don't necessarily always accept what the child has to say Uses open communication and natural consequences for wrongdoings Attempt to mold their child's growth and behavior by taking an interest and explaining, discussing, and reasoning with them as they do good and bad Read the full article on Authoritative Parenting here! What kind or kinds are you? I opened this Mashup for comment (down below! 👇), so please let me know. Are you permissive with a hint of authoritative? I'd love to hear! Please check out the series, which goes into more detail on each, including the pros and cons and how to get the most out of your parenting style. Links below to the 6-part Parenting Series. Part I - "What Kind R U" (Intro to series) Part II - "The Big UNcubed" (Neglectful Parenting) Part III - "The Great PRO³" (Permissive Parenting) Part IV - "What THE?" (Authoritarian Parenting) Part V - "HA! HA! HA!" (Authoritative Parenting) Part VI - "UN derstanding the PRO blems THE y HA ve" (The takeaway from the series) LOOK for the play on words in each blog and how the title relates to the sections of each! Date Until next time! Wednesday, October 11, 2023 Share Blog (Copy Again) Copy Link https://www.curlystache.com/mashup Episode 002 - "Uncover 4 Superior Parenting Styles" What? So, what exactly is the Mashup? Precisely as it sounds: a blend of online writing styles in a format ranging from storytelling and structured to opinionated to factual, formal to casual, and personal to professional—all while ensuring we keep true to the CurlyStache mission of guiding teenagers and raising teens today in a volatile society. The Mashup is designed to be more opinionated, grounded in facts, less researched, and directed to spark ideas and discussions. When? During the weeks I cannot get a blog out, I will fill that void with a Mashup entry. Remember to follow us on Facebook @CurlyStache Blogs and through all your favorite social media outlets to get notified of the newest releases! And be sure to share it with friends and families that could benefit! Why? I enjoy writing and expressing my opinions on essential issues when raising teens today. There are times throughout the week when I cannot get to my computer as much as I would like—or cannot do my due diligence and research a blog to present it how I want it and still be backed by facts. This fills the void. Short articles containing whatever is on my mind grounded in current events relating to parenting and teen issues, writing in whatever style vibing at the time. ▲ Back to Top Start Here! Blogs More More Find us on Social! >>> CurlyStache Blogs: A division of CurlyStache, www.curlystache.com . | Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Copyright notice: All images on this page, including all pages within the https://www.curlystache.com domain, are fully licensed or created for the sole purpose of this website. For additional information, please contact us at admin@curlystache.com

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Like most dads, Daddy's little girl for life is how I wanted it to be, but I learned that teenage girls have different plans quickly. In this CurlyStache Mashup, I tell a story and quickly introduce reality—like hitting a brick wall, how it really is, and how to push through. Start Here! Blogs More More Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Find us on Social! >>> You are Here: CurlyStache | Teenage Ambition v. Parental Desire Privacy Policy | Cookies Policy | About Us The Mashup: Short Raising Teens Blog Entries. Opinionated. Grounded in Facts. 007 - 11.18.23 Teenage Ambition v. Parental Desire This Thanksgiving week, I wanted to express my appreciation to all of you who read these blogs and have subscribed to the blog articles. We wouldn't be here without you. If this is your first read, feel free to skim through other posts, like, share, and subscribe to get notifications when the newest articles drop! Enjoy the mashup, where it is opinionated but always grounded in facts! I want to throw out a story about when my daughter finally became a teenager and the experiences that came with it, how I felt as a parent, and how to power through the rough times. Like most dads, Daddy's little girl for life is how I wanted it to be, but I learned that teenage girls have different plans quickly. I remember the day my daughter turned 13. I was excited for the new transition to finally have a slightly older girl, officially a teen, that I could have fun with being the immature father my wife insists I am. But as the years went by, I found myself becoming more and more frustrated with her. She was always on her phone, never did her chores, and seemed to have no interest in anything other than her friends and social media. One day, after a particularly frustrating argument, I decided to step back and really think about what was happening. I realized that I had been focusing so much on what she wasn't doing that I was missing out on all the good she was doing. I decided I needed to sit her down and have a heart-to-heart with her. You know, to clear the air and let her know how much I truly appreciated her. I thanked her for being kind and thoughtful in her own way, always being there for her friends, and goofing off with me, even if it wasn't as much anymore. I told her I was proud of her and loved her more than anything in the world. Needless to say, she was surprised but grateful for what I had to say. We hugged and told each other we loved each other, and our relationship couldn't have been better since. Did anybody reading this catch I used the word "story" in the opening sentence? Yeah, it was a story. Nothing more than a fairy tale with a happy ending. In the real world, young teens are programmed to push the limits in search of individuality and happiness. They will do things we disapprove of, disappoint us, and even hurt us—whether they realize it sometimes or not. That is part of growing up, and that is how they learn. If that is how they learn, am I saying it makes it all right, and they should continue to do whatever they want regardless of how we feel just because they are "programmed" to? Hell no, it's not right. We stay right on them by disciplining them as necessary for mistakes they make. That's how they learn. If they do the wrong thing again in the future, they will know it isn't right (with the reason why), and they have to weigh the "freedom of will" vs. the consequence. The choice is always up to them. It is up to us parents to educate and guide them in the right direction. If they fall, it's crucial to help them back up and never give up on them. Eventually, as they mature and become young adults, they will begin to remember your teachings over the years, be humbled by them, and learn from them once and for all—just as you did! Indeed, our teens will always give us gray hair or cause it to fall out with their fierce quest for independence and happiness. Remember, though, they wouldn't be who they are without your presence, love, guidance, and inability to give up on them. By the same token, without them, you wouldn't be who you are. When a person can have that much influence on another, we describe that as a side effect of love. Let your teen know you are thankful for them this holiday season, even if you don't get the fairy tale ending (I sure didn't!). Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! Relativity Rating What's this? Until next time! Date Saturday, November 18, 2023 Share Blog Episode 007 - "Teenage Ambition v. Parental Desire" (Copy Again) Copy Link Help us spread the word! This is how we grow and flourish as a blog and website. From me to you and your friends. https://www.curlystache.com/mashup/ambition-v-desire What? So, what exactly is the Mashup? Precisely as it sounds: a blend of online writing styles in a format ranging from storytelling and structured to opinionated to factual, formal to casual, and personal to professional—all while ensuring we keep true to the CurlyStache mission of guiding teenagers and raising teens today in a volatile society. The Mashup is designed to be more opinionated, grounded in facts, less researched, and directed to spark ideas and discussions. When? During the weeks I cannot get a blog out, I will fill that void with a Mashup entry. Remember to follow us on Facebook @CurlyStache Blogs and through all your favorite social media outlets to get notified of the newest releases! And be sure to share it with friends and families that could benefit! Why? I enjoy writing and expressing my opinions on essential issues when raising teens today. There are times throughout the week when I cannot get to my computer as much as I would like—or cannot do my due diligence and research a blog to present it how I want it and still be backed by facts. This fills the void. Short articles containing whatever is on my mind grounded in current events relating to parenting and teen issues, writing in whatever style vibing at the time. ▲ Back to Top Start Here! Blogs More More Find us on Social! >>> You are Here: CurlyStache | Teenage Ambition v. Parental Desire Privacy Policy | Cookies Policy | Contact Us CurlyStache Blogs: A division of CurlyStache, www.curlystache.com . | Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Copyright notice: All images on this page, including all pages within the https://www.curlystache.com domain, are fully licensed or created for the sole purpose of this website. For additional information, please contact us at admin@curlystache.com

Marijuana is typically the first "major" drug tweens and teens try, and it can wreak havoc within a family. How dangerous is weed, and what should parents do about it? We will include reliable and essential dos and don'ts, ensuring you and your teen continue to build a strong relationship while guiding them to avoid the temptation & seduction of weed. Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Start Here! Blogs More More Find us on Social! >>> You are Here: CurlyStache | Tweens & Teens: The Temptation & Seduction of Weed Privacy Policy | Cookies Policy | Contact Us Tweens & Teens: The Temptation & Seduction of Weed Do you stress with anxiety about your tween or teen experimenting with Marijuana? Learn the truth in this blog! COME FOR ANSWERS. LEAVE WITH CONFIDENCE. CONQUER HOW TO HANDLE TEENS EXPERIMENTING WITH MARIJUANA Marijuana is typically the first "major" drug tweens¹ and teens² end up trying, and it can wreak havoc within a family. How dangerous is weed to them? How should parents handle a situation in which their tween or teen experiments with the drug for the first time? In this blog, we will break down everything you need to know, given a tricky situation like this. We will include reliable and essential dos and don'ts, ensuring you and your teen continue to build a strong relationship while guiding them down the right path. Written By Daniel Currie Published: November 6, 2023 Comment! Like the article or think it could help somebody else? Get the word out! Never miss a Blog Post! Share it! Share your perspectives with others (Copy Again) Copy Link Share Blog https://www.curlystache.com/temptation-and-seduction-of-weed Follow us on Social! Daily memes to get you through the day Updates on blog releases Interactive, live events, polls, engaging Behind the scenes with CurlyStache Sign-up to be notified when new blogs drop today! Weed, Cannabis, Mary Jane, skunk, dope, grass, ganja—whatever you want to call it, Marijuana use has been on the rise for all ages, especially with perceptible tweens and teens. It is one drug that has never had a recession in usage and continues to gain popularity and traction as it becomes legal in many states. So if weed is becoming legal more and more and so many people use it, it can't be that bad, so it would be OK if teens smoke it, even if only on a rare occasion, right? If you want me to be truthful and honest, keep reading; if not, please disregard this post and search other websites. The truth is each website will give you the answer that best suits the site's needs, speaking truth and facts, but only the ones that back the funder, grant, or investor's stance. CurlyStache Blogs is a project where profits come second. Thus, we offer only facts sprinkled with views from adults with decades of wisdom, perspective, and knowledge. Back to the question, is it OK for tweens or teens to smoke marijuana, even when supervised and on rare occasions? As I'm sure you half expected, the answer is simply and utterly NO. Two facts without going down a rabbit hole of every possible reason why you shouldn't allow teens to use (arguably) the lowest "major" drug on the totem pole: As I'm sure you've heard at one point, it is considered a gateway drug. This means that, over time, the human body will begin to build a tolerance to it. When this happens, your tween or teen will search desperately for that new high to make them feel how they did when they first began the habit. At that point, one of two things will happen: 1) they begin smoking excessively more to meet the feeling, or 2) the more logical choice is to experiment with harder, more harmful drugs. These two reasons alone make weed dangerous: the addiction to the feeling and trying to feel more of it. THC (the primary psychoactive ingredient in marijuana) is suggested, but not proven, to have long-term issues in adults when used earlier in life with a developing brain, such as an increased risk of schizophrenia and cognitive impairments. It is a proven fact, though, that THC can stunt the maturation of the prefrontal cortex (PFC) in the brain when used modestly or regularly. Dumbing it down (sort of) for the average human like myself, this is the part of the brain responsible for complex behaviors and decision-making. As THC is introduced to the prefrontal cortex while developing during their teen years, it will impede the ability to fully mature. Once they become a fully grown adult, the disruption from their younger years will alter how the PFC processes information permanently. End of story, right? Again, no. What happens if your tween or teen experiments with marijuana or is stuck in an awkward situation where peer pressure gets the best of them, and they take a hit? Game over, grounded for life, never to be let out of the house and hang with those friends again? I sure hope not. What about if your teen goes to a party every now and again, and at those parties, a joint gets passed around, and they take a puff and pass it? They are doing it more casually now; should we take action now, perhaps giving them a severe punishment? I still side with "not so fast." It all boils down to being a good parent who has instilled a good set of morals in their tween or teen; the younger you do it, the better. Do your tweens or teens know that drugs and marijuana are bad for you? I'm assuming they do. The next step, if they know this already, is to sit down with them at a young age, preferably around middle school (grade 6-8). Hence, at this age, they are old enough to clearly understand what you are talking about but not so old they've already experimented with it; it's up to you to figure out the optimal time. In most cases, when drugs become more readily available to your tween and talked up to be "cool" by some peers, not necessarily their friends. Talk with them and let them know your feelings about the situation. Let them know it is not acceptable to smoke weed (or any other drugs!) and go into detail that many times, what they are smoking isn't just weed. It could very well be laced without their knowledge, especially with the spike in fentanyl and other opioids nowadays. Furthermore, explain your reasons in vivid detail; if you feel comfortable, share past experiences or examples to help add credence to your stance. Show your real emotions, wear your heart on your sleeve, and express yourself and how worried you are for them as a parent and that you only want what's best even if they don't see it yet. If they do the eye-roll thing, feel free to elaborate further, stating that it doesn't even matter how you feel about the situation because it is illegal for them to do it at that age, regardless. Once your tween or teen understands your expectations and the dangers of drugs, set the ground rules with them. There are many ways to set the ground rules. The first method is simply telling them, "When the time comes, we will discuss it," and hope it never comes. The other option is to sit down with them right then and there and go over it. Explain, obviously, the goal is NOT to try marijuana, but IF they were to get caught up in a bad situation, that [this] would happen. Write it down on paper, save it on a Google document, text it to each other, whatever you choose. This way, when and if the time comes and your teen makes the poor choice to experiment and gets caught, you do not overreact and over-punish them. On the flip side, they cannot claim that the punishment doesn't fit the crime. Be sure, when going over the ground rules, that they have input on it as well; they will feel more respected and be more prone to respect your decision since they had a voice in it as well. Going back to the first ground rule option. Suppose that dreadful day happened and your tween or teen got caught smoking marijuana; what should you do now that the time has come? Against popular belief, the punishment should be 50%. What do I mean by this? Think of the punishment you would hand out to your teen for disobeying and smoking weed—I know it can be scary thinking about it. It makes you want to punish them to ensure they never want to repeat it, so it's probably a severe punishment. Whatever discipline you think of, it's most likely too harsh. Now, think of something half as tough as that punishment. That's what you want to shoot for. When you slice the consequence in half like that, you will want to explain to your tween or teen what you initially wanted to do for punishment but decided to [do half punishment] instead. I guarantee they will appreciate and respect it, knowing it could have been much worse. Furthermore, they will be likelier to learn from the mistake because they want to make you proud—and because you gave them a half-off pass. For example, say your teen, Johnny, wanted to spend the weekend at their friend's house because they were going to their lakehouse. A few days before the weekend getaway, they were hanging out after school, and he was spotted smoking a pipe by a reliable source. As infuriated and upset as you may be, instead of telling him he can't go with his friend for the weekend, which is your knee-jerk reaction, take a deep breath. Once calmed, sit Johnny down and respectfully talk with him, treating him like a man, not a child or a kid that you must scream at. Tell him his consequence, that he cannot go to the lakehouse for the whole weekend; instead, he can hang out for a few hours on whatever day works best, explaining that you initially wanted to forbid him from going at all. Crucially, once you have disciplined your tween or teen, and before ending the conversation, let them talk and explain themselves. When they are trying to talk, it's vital to listen without interruption. Granted, whatever they say will probably make no difference in how you feel about the situation or the punishment you give. It will, however, show you still respect them as a person and a young man/woman. Furthermore, it will show they can always come to you to talk or get advice regardless of age. Lastly, allowing them to voice their opinions and explain themselves freely and unimpeded will give you a sneak peek into their mindset on this touchy subject. Think of it as pulling back the veil of their emotions, passions, and desires, understanding what they were thinking and why. It may seem like I'm almost contradicting myself since I started this blog insisting that tweens and teens should not try or experiment with marijuana. Then I move into saying don't punish them so much if they do experiment with THC and marijuana. So which is it? As I said, this site will give you brutal honesty, advice, and insight based on research, decades of parenting, and cold, hard facts. The truth is your preteen(s) or teen(s) should not want to try marijuana; good old-fashioned parenting will cover that in conjunction with a heart-to-heart talk diving into details on the dangers of drugs and how you truly feel. Against popular opinion, the reason why we should not be as worried regarding (pure, unlaced) marijuana usage is because, like many foods, drugs, alcohol, medicines, vitamins, and chemicals, to harm the body and mind, it takes more than just one or two times. Bear in mind that this article was written for those who need a handle on how to deal with teenagers experimenting with pure marijuana. Furthermore, you must remember that if your tween or teen has tried marijuana, the damage is already done; they have felt the effects of THC. At this point, it will do more good to empathize, understand, relate, and talk to them calmly and collectively rather than yelling and screaming. Lastly, at the very most, a unique way of looking at a bad situation: it will teach them the effects of THC at an early age. This will allow them to be better equipped to handle the effects when they are on their own in a world that is becoming more and more pro-marijuana and legalizing it at a record pace. On the contrary, suppose your tween or teen is doing more than just experimenting and has a real issue or dependency on THC or marijuana. It has begun affecting their daily lives, attitudes, and behaviors. In that case, they, unfortunately, are already hooked on the drug, and to properly handle a situation such as that, they are going to have to want to quit. In addition, they will also need a robust support system in place; we will cover this in detail in future blog articles. The bottom line is that there is no reason to go overboard if it happens once or twice. The fact of the matter is that there has not been enough research done on the drug and teens despite an unsettling explosion of marijuana usage in teens, exceeding a 250% increase in use in the last 20 years. Nevertheless, that does not justify that pure marijuana is suitable for tweens and teens. In addition, I'd like to point out that children are EXCLUDED from this post; there have been proven adverse outcomes with marijuana and children. We should obviously never encourage marijuana or drugs to our family; however, when keeping an open mind, staying grounded to facts, and using some common sense, the stress factor of your tween or teen trying weed for the first or second time shouldn't be overwhelming. If they are raised with a good set of morals, ethics, and respect, and you have sat down and talked with them, there should be little to worry about. Trust your teen. You might be surprised. Should they get curious, or peer pressure gets the best of them, and they take a hit to see what the buzz is all about (pardon the pun), it's normal at that age. Humans are all curious beings, especially teens, while still testing the waters. Either way, if you do find out they tried marijuana, your stress levels should only be as high as if they skipped study hall in school, not much more; do not stress thinking, "What if they take advantage of me and continue despite consequences and sitdown talks?"—cross that bridge when the time comes. Now is NOT the time. I will be sure to follow up within a few blogs from now on the best ways and steps to deal with your tween or teen who is struggling with marijuana addiction and dependency. As for now, this blog is merely a guide for parents, guardians, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and anybody else who cares for and has/interacts with teens and how to confront marijuana head-on. I hope this article helped or at least put some new perspective on an age-old topic. I'm leaving this post open for comments to let me know your opinion on the topic; there is no wrong answer—the only rule is respect. ¹ Tweens: In this article, tweens are defined as 10-12 years old; typically, tween age is considered to be 8-12 years. ² Teens: In this article, teens are defined as 12-19 years old, the standard age. Notes Comments Let us know what you think, the floor is yours! Read More Previous Blog Popular Mashup Staying vigilant in cyberspace is essential. Unchecked could mean a ruined life with emotions and a state of mind uprooted and put in a tailspin. 3 Priceless Tools to Prevent Costly Lifechanging Mistakes Written By: Daniel Currie Published on: October 16, 2023 🫶 Read Now 👉 In this Mashup article, episode 004, I question if there is truly a guaranteed way to teach so teens will do as they are told and honor what is asked. You be the judge. Inculcate: Guaranteed to Teach Teens Written By: Daniel Currie Published on: October 26, 2023 🤏 Read Now 👉 Additional Blogs Find all the CurlyStache blogs where Raising Teens Today is at its core right here! Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts is the theme! 👊 Browse Now 👉 Additional Mashups Short 3-minute Blogs where there is no criteria or format. The Mashup slogan says it all: Short Raising Teens Blog Entries. Opinionated. Grounded in Facts. 👌Browse Now 👉 ▲ Back to Top Start Here! Blogs More More Find us on Social! >>> You are Here: CurlyStache | Tweens & Teens: The Temptation & Seduction of Weed Privacy Policy | Cookies Policy | Contact Us CurlyStache Blogs: A division of CurlyStache, www.curlystache.com . | Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Copyright notice: All images on this page, including all pages within the https://www.curlystache.com domain, are fully licensed or created for the sole purpose of this website. For additional information, please contact us at admin@curlystache.com

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Teens and piercings are more than just a phase. Navigate their desires for body piercings with wisdom and the essentials for dialogue and understanding. ◄ Body Piercings Start Here! Blogs More More Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Find us on Social! >>> Raising Teens Today Who Want Body Piercings Handling the Situation Part II of the 2-part series In the second and final installment of Raising Teens Today Who Want Body Piercings, I will walk you through crucial actions to ensure the best possible outcome for you and your young adult. Missed the first part? Check out Raising Teens Today Who Want Body Piercings: Personal Experience 👈 Read Article! The article reveals life as a teen with a passion for body art and a parent who had to handle the situation. Jump to a Section : Raising Teens Today Who Want Body Piercings: Handling the Situation ►Sustain or Subdue? ▪ Reality Check: Their Age ▪ Don't Add Insult To Injury ▪ Limited Options ▫ Let's go over our options ▫ Boils down to options A or B ►Option C ▪ Middle Ground ▪ Be Humble: Think Back, Don't React ►Essential Parenting Dos (and Don'ts!) ►Spite or Serious? ▪ Spite ▪ Serious ►Raising Teens & Body Piercings: It's NOT the End ►Conclusion ►Comments Written By Dan Currie Published: May 22, 2023 Sustain or Subdue? We as parents should always have a say in our young adult's decisions, especially if they still live in our homes and school. So what should we do when they turn 18 and are adamant about getting a body piercing, and we aren't comfortable with that idea (or downright disapprove)? Let's look into our options and what we can do in this situation: sustain the idea and let it flourish- or subdue it, killing the thought of body shrapnel. Reality Check: Their Age First, it is imperative to remember that they are 18 years old and have a legal right to make their own decisions regarding their bodies. I get it. It's hard letting go sometimes, but they grow up, and we must let them do what they think is best- even if we know better and have the wisdom that comes with maturity and age. All we can do is be there for them, giving comfort and advice as necessary, hoping we have raised them the best they can be. Don't Add Insult To Injury Whatever age your child is, we should NEVER subdue our children and their thoughts, opinions, or preferences- no matter how foolish it may seem to us as parents with wisdom. Remember, this makes them unique and fosters emotional growth and self-esteem. If you attempt to completely quash their idea without listening to them first, they will feel denigrated and disparaged, shattering their self-worth. Limited Options Let's go over our options But I still don't approve of them getting a body piercing, so what should I do? Without sugarcoating it, the brutal truth is that there is nothing. No form of legal action (in typical circumstances) will prevent it. Screaming matches and arguments generally do not work. Faulting your teen and making them feel their preferences and tastes will not work either. Imposing punishments is an option; however, whether they believe it is worth the consequences remains their choice. Boils down to Options A or B There is no golden ticket answer without forcing and threatening your young adult into something else that could make them feel belittled or hamper their self-esteem. Unfortunately, this is one of those deals where you can go to other sites (even the ones claiming a guarantee) where you can legally do nothing without either (A) obtaining a court order or (B) throwing out all morals scorning and vilifying your child. Option C As stated, without becoming a vile parent yourself or jumping through a ton of hoops (or both!), if your child wants a body piercing, they ultimately can get one. What we should be doing as good, responsible, nurturing parents is opening the lines of communication with them- Option (C). Let's not try dismissing their ideas and thought processes; instead, try understanding them. Be direct, sit down with them, and express yourself and reason for your feelings. We do not want them to feel that parents are always in control; otherwise, they will see us as puppet masters pulling all the strings, and they are just going through the motions at that point. So instead, show that you respect their decision and are willing to listen and offer input, gently steering them in a direction where both of you can meet in the middle. Middle Ground Finding the middle ground is the best solution, even if we may disagree with the body shrapnel or what it represents in some cases. We must think objectively and with an open mind, briefly removing the parenting hat. The best way to do this is by putting yourself in their shoes. Be Humble: Think Back, Don't React Take a minute, be humble, and put yourself in your child's shoes. Pretend for a moment you had your heart set on a particular piece of metal you could wear, much like earrings, but only in other parts of the body. Then, as you become excited, you take the high road and run it past your parents rather than trying to hide it or make them upset and just come home with it. What would you hope your parents would say about it when you came to them? If you are honest with yourself, you would want your parents to a least hear you out and respect your opinions rather than ridicule you. Furthermore, the last thing you want to hear is your parents deciding for you even though you now have a legal right to the decision—a tough pill to swallow. Essential Parenting Dos (and Don'ts!) Instead, have a real heart-to-heart conversation with them. Take them out to lunch, the batting cage, the mall, or whatever brings each of you close and gives you a chance to hash it out. When you talk with them, show that you are sincerely listening and be involved in the conversation without hijacking it. For example, have them explain why they find it so attractive, what made them choose that particular location, and their plans after the piercing. In doing this, your child will think highly of your opinions and be more receptive to your thoughts and advice on the piercing. As a bonus, they will surely think much more carefully about it before running off hellbent on doing it. Spite or Serious? As their parent, you probably know whether your child is serious about a body piercing. That said, one of two things will happen. Spite If your teen is coming to you about thinking about a piercing, saying they are going to get one, but their body language or something else screams otherwise, allow your parental panic alarm to sound. For example, once you realize they want one out of spite, because it is the newest fad, or even because of peer pressure, you will want to reach into the bag of tricks to get them to think twice and hopefully not go through with it. Remember, as parents, we only want to subtly assist in making sure they make an informed and correct decision. Under no circumstance do we want to force a decision or add to their stress and pressure them. So instead, give your child the facts, laying them out to allow them to see it clearly and lean on you for advice. Serious On the flip side, if your teenager is adamant about some body shrapnel, and they have come to you with a well-thought-out and organized plan, then it is a safe bet they are mentally and emotionally ready for it. In addition, if your child can answer any questions you may throw at them regarding your concerns about getting a body piercing, you can be sure they are mature enough to have thought it through in depth. Furthermore, that is also an excellent sign that it is not a spur-of-the-moment decision or a spontaneous "you only live once" fling. At that point, and their intent is evident, the only thing left is to let them come to you for support and advice, even if we disapprove of the decision. However, if you respect their decision, they may allow suggestions if it merits them since they can see you are trying. Even if the ideas fall on a deaf ear or there is no room for recommendations, at the very least, you don't end up with the strain of a choppy relationship over differences in opinions. Raising Teens & Body Piercings: It's NOT the End Raising teens today is challenging, especially regarding topics like this. I bring good news, though: as mentioned in the previous article, Raising Teens Today Who Want Body Piercings: Part I , Personal Experience, body piercings are only semi-permanent. That means they come out and heal with a minimal scar. It comes out even quicker and with less effort than going in if your child realizes they do not like it, whether a week or a decade later. Body piercings make an excellent alternative to something much more permanent such as a tattoo, so yes, it could be worse! In Conclusion As stated in the previous post, I agree with body piercings; they are an elegant art form that is not entirely permanent. Much like all art forms, it is in the eye of the beholder. What may be horrifying and disgusting to one may be a marvel or wonder to another. We must always respect each other's opinions regarding body piercings, even if they are our children. To allow them to grow and build self-esteem and individuality, they must be free to make their own decisions when the time comes. All we can do is be there and hope we raise them well. comments debug Comments Write a comment Write a comment 생각을 공유하시겠습니까? 첫 번째 댓글을 작성해보세요. Your Opinion Matters! Leave a comment. Let us know what you think! ▲ Back to Top Start Here! Blogs More More Find us on Social! >>> CurlyStache Blogs: A division of CurlyStache, www.curlystache.com . | Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Copyright notice: All images on this page, including all pages within the https://www.curlystache.com domain, are fully licensed or created for the sole purpose of this website. For additional information, please contact us at admin@curlystache.com

In this raising teens blog article, we cover the pros and cons of video games and how to overcome issues you may have regarding them utilizing the VASE chart and Precise Umbrella methods. The article contains essential parenting dos and don'ts to ensure you get the desired results when guiding teenagers through their growth to adulthood. Start Here! Blogs More More Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Find us on Social! >>> Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Raising Teens Today: Help Deciding the Proper Video Games For Their Age Screens are a HUGE part of society and our teens' daily lives , even if we wish it weren't the case. Nearly all people under the age of 20 end up in front of a screen multiple times a day , whether it's to socialize, listen to music, watch a video or a show— or even perhaps what has become one of the most popular options that encompasses socializing, entertainment, riddles, hanging out with friends, or even remaining anonymous : VIDEO GAMES . In this raising teens blog article, we will cover the pros and cons of video games and how to overcome any issues you may have involving them with essential parenting dos and don'ts to ensure you get the desired results! Jump to a Section : Raising Teens Today: Help Deciding the Proper Video Games For Their Age ► Intro (top of page) ► Types of Video Games ► Find Your Moral Video Game Compass ► V-A-S-E Chart ♦ Subscribe to CurlyStache Blogs ! ♦ ► ESRB vs. FRB ► Find Your Precise Umbrella └ What About Other Negativity Not Covered In My Precise Umbrella ? └ I Need TWO Precise Umbrellas ► Do Video Games Help or Hurt ? ► Emotional Impact ► Positive Gaming Impacts ► Conclusion ♦ Follow Us, Share, & Comment ♦ ► FREE Blank VASE Chart to print ! ► Comments Written By Dan Currie Published: August 7, 2023 Types of Video Games What could be described as a video game exactly? A video game is a form of objective or puzzle played on a screen against a computer or other players locally or online. Let's face it: we all love video games to some extent, whether it's Super Mario Brothers, Candy Crush, Madden, online Poker, Call of Duty, Soduku, or even Chess. Most games are entirely benign and fun, exactly what we think of when we say "games": a program played on a screen with an objective or puzzle experienced with others or alone. This article is NOT about the innocent games we've all learned to love throughout time but rather the morally unsettling ones . I Need Help Raising Teens Today & Video Games Where can I get some insight? Isn't "Video Games" such a broad term? I'm worried my tween thinks it's ok to hurt. Should I control everything? What qualifies as a video game? Read on for everything you need to know to make informed decisions ! Every family is different in their values, and that's OK! Some families are conservative and refrain from allowing any violent or explicit influence, including some sporting games such as "Undisputed" (boxing), only allowing for adventure, puzzle, and strategic games or online board games such as the popular "Monopoly Go." On the flip side, other families do not put merit on the impact of video games and the potential influence they may have on their impressionable teens. Find Your Moral Video Game Compass V-A-S-E Chart I O L E N C E B U S I V E E X U A L X P L I C I T That said, you need to ask yourself your family's stance and how intensely you feel video games impact your tween or teen's moral outlook. It is crucial to do this because it helps set base rules for your children and allows you to remain consistent when the time comes to approve (or deny) a new video game. The good idea is to create a V.A.S.E. (Violence, Abusive, Sexual, Explicit) Video Game chart , as shown below, to help you stay on track with your family's rules and values. As you can see in the VASE example, the parents immediately grayed out columns that are not allowed in the house based on their beliefs, so if a video game intersected, it was instantly banned. Likewise, the parents highlighted (oranged out) one column they would allow if they felt their child/teen was ready . To ensure the parents stayed on track and remained fair with their child's request to play the five games, they researched and checked off the boxes for which the game was known. This allows them to quickly identify the video game as a potential problem or not . FREE blank printable V.A.S.E. Sheet at the bottom! ESRB vs. FRB ESRB is the corporation that rates all video games and stands for Entertainment Software Rating Board. They are the guys that stamp the big "E," "T," or "M" (or whatever!) on the games, so you know if it is age-appropriate. Their thought process and logic in rating games are sound but not concrete. ESRB knows what they are doing, but make sure you compare it to and trust the FRB . What is the FRB? FAMILY Rating Board. Every family is unique in their background and perspectives on life. One family may find a game they rated via their FRB a 10+, whereas their neighbors deem it unacceptable until their child reaches high school— ALL WHILE the ESRB rates that same game as "M" (mature, 17+). It is all the more reason to take time, fill out a VASE chart, add additional columns or notes if necessary, and thoroughly evaluate the video games. Most of all, once you have established what type of games with what content you allow (or deny), stick to it regardless of what the ESRB or other families say because it is your family, not the ESRB or others! image credit: ESRB Precise Umbrella Find Your Nowadays, if you try to shield your child or teen from every game with questionable influence, there would be very little to play— because everything is open to interpretation and can become twisted. The solution is NOT to watch them play the game, and the moment something violates the condition of allowing them to have the game (i.e., swearing), you tell them they cannot play anymore. Instead, ask yourself what is the number one subject above all others that you disapprove of and cannot tolerate under any circumstance. Have you got your answer? Good. Take that answer and let that be the first rule and primary reason for having or not having a video game. That cringe-worthy subject is your PRECISE UMBRELLA . It's a precise topic, or matter, that you cover over your home, like an umbrella, to ensure it does not get in. In other words, there is no way in hell you will allow that one topic to be on a screen in your home. Take your VASE chart and gray that section out like nobody's business, or add it to the VASE chart if it's not there, or note it if needed- whatever it takes to make it the golden rule for video games. For example, sexual assault and sexual abuse are the Precise Umbrellas in the CurlyStache household. If a game (video game or any other material) with sexual abuse or sexual assault makes its way into the home, there will be severe consequences of biblical proportions. Therefore, if my wife or I get asked or see a new game played in our house, we know we can count on each other to vet the game for sexual assault while our children know what to expect. What About Other Negativity Not Covered In My Precise Umbrella? Need some truth? Let everything else fall by the wayside. Take one letter from the VASE chart (or a 5th letter if it's not on there) and concentrate on that letter explicitly as your Precise Umbrella. Whether it is racism, sexual abuse, violence, explicit gestures or materials, swearing, or whatever causes you the most grief and heartache, concentrate on that. All the other negativity in a video game should not make or break being able to have or play the game. The reason for this is because you are a great parent! You've already taught them your family's viewpoints, beliefs, morals, and rights from wrongs. By the time they are asking to play [insert game], chances are they already know that all four letters in VASE are wrong, illegal, or immoral in real life; you are just going to take the one topic you find the most concerning and drive it home by telling them "Not even in a video game can I allow this." I Need TWO Precise Umbrellas As stated in the beginning, every family is different, making all families unique. Some families may feel very strongly about two letters in VASE (or an additional 5th letter) needing to be covered, whether it is because they have personal experiences with one matter or another, religion plays into it, behavioral issues, or any number of reasons. If you feel it is necessary to add a second Precise Umbrella, please do; only you know what's best for your family and teen . Nevertheless, I strongly recommend using as few Precise Umbrellas as possible to help mature them as they prepare for the real world— after all, this world can be ugly if you don't prepare for it. Lastly, the big question is: "Even though my teen wants to play video games, shouldn't they be outside like I was as a kid?" The answer is YES! That's optimal; let them get the fresh air, be social (in-person vs. virtual), play sports, and get involved with nature. Unfortunately, despite all that, screen time is still up there, so are video games good for your teen? The answer to that is also a resounding YES! Do Video Games Help or Hurt? Emotional Impact It is important to remember that even though we may disagree with some of the content in the games, it doesn't mean their brain processes that content in the way we see it . In a hypothetical game, for example, as a parent, we see their character picking up a gun, shooting another player, and getting awarded 50 points. This situation can be horrifying because it shows they were rewarded for killing someone. To flip things around, the child/teen is NOT thinking about using a gun and killing anybody. They are thinking objectively . They know the game's objective is to get from point A to point B with a man in the way. They are not thinking, "Oh yeah, awesome! Look at that GUN! I'm gonna pick it up, and YES! I can SHOOT somebody! I'm going to try it out now!" They know that per the game rules, the only thing that can defeat another player or man is the gun in front of them. The 50 points may seem like a reward to a concerned parent, but to a child/teen, the 50 points make it that much closer to an achievement or something they can get with the points. The result is that the gamer usually sees it as problem-solving, solving the equation instead of focusing on the objects used and what was done with it . The sad truth is, it just makes sense: Men block paths and are gatekeepers, and guns kill men, so that's what we see in video games. Positive Gaming Impacts Video games not only encourage problem-solving but offer an array of other valuable essentials in life. Hand and eye coordination significantly improve as your child or teen plays intensely. Along with doing two things at once and working together, their multitasking skills become exceptional the more they play. One of the best consequences of playing video games is the improved cognitive skills that the player develops. Conclusion There are many benefits to video games, whether it is Solitare or Final Fantasy XVI. It is up to you and your family to determine how beneficial each video game is based on your family's outlook and core belief system. Using the VASE chart and your Precise Umbrella, you can have a good foundation with essential parenting dos and don'ts when guiding teenagers today and video games. With this as your guide, your teens will be able to play the games they love, knowing there are certain lines they cannot cross while respecting your decisions regarding the approval of video games, knowing it's coming from an unmoving set of views. Please be sure to leave a comment in the posts! This helps many parents see YOUR perspective on the topic too! CurlyStache Raising Teens Blog is a safe place for everybody's opinion, so WE can all walk away with the best philosophies and practices when it comes to how we handle and raise our young loved ones. 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Discover Guiding Teenagers relativity index to swiftly identify our informative blog content & what age group it's geared towards without the need to read all of it! Relativity Index Discover the perfect read for you at Guiding Teenagers with just a glance! Our handy icons beside each post title instantly guide you to age-appropriate content, ensuring you find exactly what you need, fast. Whether you're seeking advice for your child's social challenges or any other topic, our icons make it a breeze. Just flip through them and dive into a world of helpful, tailored content! Everybody Description: This blog post or podcast is universally relevant and impactful across all age groups. additional details below ◄ Previous Next ► The icons are easy to understand without needing to flip back to this page every time as long as you know two things. First, the blog's relevance increases as you go up the graph (y-axis). Next, across the bottom (x-axis), the age group is identified from youngest to oldest . If you understand better when shown, we've got you covered with an illustration below... ...And for the ones who like to dive down the rabbit hole of technicalities and how it is all broken up, eat your heart out: Starting at the bottom left, going across the x-axis, you have tweens (8-12) occupying roughly the first 25%. After that comes younger teens (13-15), taking up the next 30% of the graph. Then, older teens (16-19), another 30%. Finally, 20-year-olds, young adults, and older take up the last sliver of the graph to the right, with 15%. How relative a blog article or post is for specific age groups; the higher up the graph (y-axis) the more relevant ◄8-10 11-12 13-15 16-19 20+► Very Relevant Not Relevant Neutral Age Group (x-axis) High School + Tweens Transitioning to Teens Middle School, Early High School Children / Early Tweens Post High School / Young Adult / Adults Key points: 8-10 years with ARROW pointing "younger " indicates it article could have relevance for children as well 8-10 years with a STARTING "DOT" indicates there is not much relevance for that age group and that the line graph begins closer to the 11-12 age 20+ with ARROW pointing "older " indicates it could include young adults over 20 as well, or any aged adult 20+ with ENDING "DOT" indicates the article is not for adults and some 20-year-olds; the article/post is geared more toward high schoolers or younger.