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Six Techniques to Calm Your Angry Teen Effectively Enjoy the 3rd part of our GT Exclusive 4-part series on Teen Anger! Written By : Daniel Currie Published On : 2/26/2024 Navigating the turbulent waves of teenage anger isn't for the faint of heart. In our journey together, we've uncovered the roots of teen anger and armed ourselves with strategies for managing it, as discussed in our previous posts. Now, we delve into the art of de-escalation, a crucial skill in transforming potential conflict into an opportunity for understanding and growth. Missed the first 2 articles? No problem, catch up! Part I: Understanding Teen Anger: Roots, Mental Health, and Seeking Help Discover the root of teen anger, discern its ties to mental health, and learn when professional help is crucial. Empower your journey to understanding and action. Part II: Empowering Teens to Manage Anger: Strategies and Tools Dive deeper into practical strategies and tools that empower teens to manage their anger, fostering emotional resilience and self-awareness for a balanced life. Table of Contents ►Stay Calm ►Listen Actively ►Validate Their Feelings ►Use Calming Techniques Together ►Set Clear Boundaries ►Choose Your Battles ►Conclusion Blog Focus: Read Time: Behavior & Mental Health 6 minutes Relativity Rating: Adolecence What's this? #1 : Stay Calm The Technique in Detail : In the heat of the moment, your ability to remain calm is your strongest ally. It's about embodying the serenity you wish to see in your teen. Not only does this help defuse immediate tension, but it also teaches them by example how to handle their own emotions. Real-Life Application : Sarah, a parent I've worked closely with, shared a pivotal moment when she chose to respond with calmness to her son's outburst. This approach allowed the situation to de-escalate quickly, leading to a heartfelt conversation that wouldn't have been possible otherwise. Similarly, maintaining my composure when my teen's emotions were sky-high has paved the way for more open conversations and fewer screaming matches. Expert Quote : "The calmness of a parent is the cornerstone of de-escalation in family conflicts." - Dr. Laura Kastner, Clinical Psychologist (Find this in "Wise-Minded Parenting") Problem & Solution : Reacting emotionally can escalate the situation. The key is to model the calm behavior you want to see, providing a mirror for your teen's emotional regulation. Practicing mindfulness or deep breathing prepares you for these moments. Homework Assignment : The "Time-In Together" challenge. Next time tensions rise, choose to stay present with your teen in a shared space, engaging in silent solidarity for a few minutes. This act of non-verbal support speaks volumes. #2 : Listen Actively The Technique in Detail : Active listening involves fully engaging with your teen's words, emotions, and underlying messages. It means setting aside your own thoughts and judgments to truly hear them, showing that their feelings and perspectives are valued and essential. Real-Life Application : Mark, another parent I've had the pleasure of helping, transformed his relationship with his teenager by practicing active listening. Echoing his child's words made his teen feel seen and heard, significantly lowering the emotional temperature. Reflecting on my own interactions, adopting a stance of genuine curiosity about my teen's feelings has led to more meaningful exchanges and mutual respect. Expert Quote : "Listening is about being present, not just being quiet." - Kristin Wilson, MA, LPC (Find this in "The Gift of Listening") Problem & Solution : Reacting emotionally can escalate the situation. The key is to model the calm behavior you want to see, providing a mirror for your teen's emotional regulation. Practicing mindfulness or deep breathing prepares you for these moments. Homework Assignment : The "Time-In Together" challenge. Next time tensions rise, choose to stay present with your teen in a shared space, engaging in silent solidarity for a few minutes. This act of non-verbal support speaks volumes. #3 : Validate Their Feelings The Technique in Detail : Validation doesn't equate to agreement but acknowledges the teen's feelings as legitimate. It's a powerful tool in your de-escalation arsenal, showing your teen that their emotions are seen and taken seriously, regardless of the situation. Real-Life Application : Emily's story stands out. She found that validating her daughter's feelings, even when they seemed disproportionate to the situation, built a bridge of trust between them. My journey as a parent mirrors this; acknowledging my teen's feelings has often been the first vital step toward resolution and understanding. Expert Quote : "Validation is the first step toward empathy." - Dr. John Gottman, Psychologist (Find this in "The Gottman Institute’s Guide to Emotional Intelligence") Problem & Solution : Teens often feel their emotions are dismissed. By acknowledging their feelings as real and significant, you affirm their right to feel. This transformation can turn a confrontational dynamic into one of cooperation and respect. Homework Assignment : ​ Implement the "Emotion Word of the Day." Introduce a new feeling word daily, using it in conversation with your teen. This broadens their emotional vocabulary for better communication and articulation of their anger in the future. Additionally, it demonstrates your commitment to understanding their world. #4 : Using Calming Techniques Together The Technique in Detail : Engaging in calming activities with your teen can be a powerful non-verbal communication tool, signaling that you're both on the same team. It provides a shared experience that can diffuse tension and foster connection, offering a peaceful counterpoint to the storm of anger. Real-Life Application : ​ Lisa, a dedicated mother I advised, discovered that walks with her son during tense times created a neutral ground for open conversation. She recently emailed me to express her gratitude, sharing that their daily walks have brought them exceptionally closer. Similarly, finding activities that both my teen and I enjoy, like discussing football or music, has opened new avenues for communication and bonding, reminding us of our connection beyond the conflict. Expert Quote : ​ "Shared activities can act as a non-verbal dialogue that opens doors to emotional connection." - Dr. Sheila Modir, Pediatric Psychologist (Find this in "The Stress-Reducing Family") Problem & Solution : Breaking the cycle of anger can be challenging. Introducing calming shared activities offers both a distraction and a way to reconnect. Choose activities that are calming, neutral, and enjoyable for both of you, fostering a sense of unity and understanding. Homework Assignment : The "Creative Co-learning Challenge." Together, pick an activity neither of you is familiar with. The shared learning experience can lead to laughter and a sense of shared accomplishment, lightening the mood and strengthening your bond. #5 : Set Clear Boundaries The Technique in Detail : Establishing clear boundaries is essential for maintaining respect and understanding in any relationship. In the context of de-escalating teen anger, it helps both parties understand the limits of acceptable behavior, creating a safe space for emotions to be expressed constructively. Real-Life Application : My good buddy Tom's experience with setting boundaries for respectful communication significantly transformed his household's dynamic. "It leads to more constructive conversations and less conflict," he shared with me. Similarly, in my own home, our established boundaries have been pivotal in maintaining harmony, even amid disagreements. Expert Quote : "Boundaries are the lifelines of healthy relationships." - Dr. Henry Cloud, Psychologist (Find this in "Boundaries") Problem & Solution : Enforcing boundaries during emotional turmoil can be daunting. The solution lies in consistency and clarity, explaining the rationale behind these boundaries and the consequences of crossing them. Homework Assignment : ​ The "Boundary Blueprint." Sit down with your teen to outline acceptable and unacceptable behaviors during disagreements. This co-created document serves as a mutual agreement, reinforcing respect and understanding. #6 : Choose Your Battles The Technique in Detail : Deciding which conflicts to engage in and which to let pass is a strategic component of de-escalation. It's about identifying the battles that truly matter, preserving energy and emotional bandwidth for the issues that are most significant to your relationship's health and your teen's well-being. Real-Life Application : Learning to choose my battles was a turning point in my relationship with my teen. It meant letting go of the inconsequential to focus on what truly mattered, fostering a more peaceful and respectful home environment. Many parents, like myself, find that this approach not only reduces overall conflict but also highlights the importance of the issues that we do choose to address. Expert Quote : "Choosing your battles wisely means knowing what is worth fighting for." - Dr. Phil McGraw (Find this in "Life Strategies") Problem & Solution : It's tempting to address every issue that arises, but this can lead to unnecessary tension. The solution is to critically assess the long-term importance of each conflict. If it won't matter in a year, it may not be worth the emotional investment now. Homework Assignment : Practice the "24-Hour Rule." When a potential conflict arises, wait 24 hours before addressing it. This pause can provide perspective, helping you decide if it's truly worth pursuing or better left alone. Conclusion: Navigating the Journey Together ​ As we continue to explore the complexities of teen anger through this series, it's clear that de-escalation is not just about managing immediate conflicts but about building a foundation of understanding, respect, and empathy that can withstand the storms of adolescence. ​ Stay tuned for our final installment, where we'll offer top tips for dealing with teen anger, drawing together the threads of understanding, management, and de-escalation into a comprehensive strategy for nurturing a peaceful, supportive family environment. Remember, this journey is one of mutual growth and learning. Each step forward, guided by these techniques and the insights from our previous discussions on understanding and managing teen anger, brings us closer to a relationship marked by deeper connection and mutual respect. Enjoy it? Spread the word and share it with the masses! 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Home Start Here! Blogs More Shop Podcasts More Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Find us on Social! >>> The Mashup: Short Raising Teens Blog Entries. Opinionated. Grounded in Facts. 004 - 10.26.23 Inculcate: Guaranteed to Teach Teens How many of you have asked yourself, "When the hell will that kid ever learn?" or "What do I have to do to make them understand?" Yeah, we've all been there. Preaching to the choir, we love our teens to death, but sometimes it feels like there is no getting through to them as they make boneheaded decisions. I'm here to tell you, don't sweat it. Besides the usual teenage growing pains, there is one way to ingrain your teachings into them, guaranteed for the better or worse. Although my personal dream of raising teens by having them hold a series of rules, morals, and ethics books and learning through osmosis will always be #1, inculcating learning is definitely a #2 for me. I'm guessing the words "inculcate" and "inculcating" are on the uppermost edge of the average person's vocabulary. I know it was mine. I won't lie; I had to look it up and double-check to ensure I used it correctly. The simple definition is to cause someone to learn or understand through repetition. Other synonyms include ingrain, infuse, implant, and instill. ​ ​ The critical part of the definition is "through repetition." Like us adults, teens are flawed; they have it much worse when you stop and think about it, and we, as parents, tend to become more critical when they do not learn or do it correctly. I get it. Every parent is screaming in their head, "But I've told them over and over again! They just choose not to listen or obey me!" Bear in mind three factors that make it harder for teens to do it right the first time (than, say, adults), which are often overlooked or taken for granted: Teens are pushing their boundaries, seeing what they can get away with—testing the waters per se Hormones play a part (most of the time, in the heat of the moment, they don't realize it), causing their thought process, prejudice, and emotions to dictate their actions over reasoning and obedience. They are flat-out still learning and figuring things out; remember, as a parent, you have an advantage and already have an additional generation's worth of knowledge and wisdom. You don't question what is told like your teen does because you've learned or are old enough to know it is for the best—our teens aren't there yet. Please note there are no excuses for teens not to do what they are told or whatever is asked. I never said it makes it impossible for teens to do it right the first time—only harder. The easiest way to help push along the learning process, or the learning curve, is to inculcate learning. Learn by repetition. In doing this, our teens will begin doing the essential things in life instinctively rather than consciously. Introduce your philosophies, methods, and teachings in a habit-forming way, remaining consistent every day. In doing this over time, like muscle memory, their mind will begin to institutionalize and incorporate it whether they like it or not. Before you know it, much like a sleep pattern, their body and mind will start to adjust, and one day, you'll find yourself not inculcating them. On that day, they will just do it, and you will see it and not say anything even though you want to celebrate, throw a party, and (of course) praise and thank them for a job well done. Instead, you will just sit back and enjoy that well-deserved moment; every parent needs a 5-minute triumph break. Damn, I just made that sound like even a 9-year-old could handle parenting with those step-by-step words of wisdom, wouldn't you say? Not even close. Far from it, achieving these goals takes significant time and effort. When inculcating teens, the effort you put into shaping your teen directly shows in the outcome. The harder you strive and work at it, the better the results. To be clear, this method is a process that takes time. It is like training for a marathon. After all, that is what you are doing, training your teen for the marathon of adulthood. I stand by it: if you keep at it, I guarantee you that you can inculcate your teen with any of life's lessons. Date Until next time! Thursday, October 26, 2023 Episode 004 - "Inculcate: Guaranteed to Teach Teens" (Copy Again) Copy Link Share Blog Help us spread the word! This is how we grow and flourish as a blog and website. From me to you and your friends. https://www.curlystache.com/mashup/inculcate What? So, what exactly is the Mashup? Precisely as it sounds: a blend of online writing styles in a format ranging from storytelling and structured to opinionated to factual, formal to casual, and personal to professional—all while ensuring we keep true to the CurlyStache mission of guiding teenagers and raising teens today in a volatile society. The Mashup is designed to be more opinionated, grounded in facts, less researched, and directed to spark ideas and discussions. When? During the weeks I cannot get a blog out, I will fill that void with a Mashup entry. Remember to follow us on Facebook @CurlyStache Blogs and through all your favorite social media outlets to get notified of the newest releases! And be sure to share it with friends and families that could benefit! Why? I enjoy writing and expressing my opinions on essential issues when raising teens today. There are times throughout the week when I cannot get to my computer as much as I would like—or cannot do my due diligence and research a blog to present it how I want it and still be backed by facts. This fills the void. Short articles containing whatever is on my mind grounded in current events relating to parenting and teen issues, writing in whatever style vibing at the time. ▲ Back to Top Home Start Here! Blogs More Shop Podcasts More Find us on Social! >>> CurlyStache Blogs: A division of CurlyStache, www.curlystache.com . | Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Copyright notice: All images on this page, including all pages within the https://www.curlystache.com domain, are fully licensed or created for the sole purpose of this website. For additional information, please contact us at admin@curlystache.com

Parenting and Teen Music: The Crucial Dos and Don'ts Written By : Daniel Currie Published On : 5/8 /2023 Music is more than a rhythmic beat we can sing or hum to. Music is considered all-encompassing, able to release and evoke emotions from the most wicked of thoughts to complete ecstasy and bliss with peace of mind. ​ That said, should you control the listening to music and the types of music your child listens to? I will explain why it is NEVER a good idea to do this in this post, Parenting and Music: Dos and Don'ts. Table of Contents Scientifically Proven Release Agent Young Children and Toddlers Communicate How Do Musical Sounds Make You Feel? Parenting and Music: DO! Creation and Self-Expression What If I Disapprove of the Music? Parenting and Music: DON'T! Conclusion Blog Focus: Entertainment Read Time: 5 minutes Relativity Rating: Everybody Under 20 What's this? Scientifically Proven The first reason we should not control our children's music is that studies have proven that music can affect your mind, mood, and body. This phenomenon revealed that music can improve mood and reduce stress and anxiety. Specifically, listening to music has been found to reduce cortisol, the hormone released in response to stress. It can also reduce heart rate and blood pressure. In addition, music can also stimulate the production of endorphins, which boosts mood and reduces pain. "Music has also been found to reduce cortisol levels, help with sleep, reduce depression, and even reduce burnout." - Penn Medicine Release Agent Another vital benefit is that music can help validate your teen's current emotional state and provide a healthy outlet for expression. As a result, it becomes an excellent tool for parents to help their teens understand how to regulate their emotions in a healthy, proper way. In addition, this can create a safe space where your teen can explore and express their feelings without judgment or fear. Finally, even when all else fails, a good tune can be used as a tool or outlet to distract, calm down, and relax. Young Children and Toddlers Music is a superb tool that can be utilized to calm babies and toddlers- and relaxing music can also bring peace and tranquility to busy and stressed parents. On the flip side, music can also create a stimulating environment to nurture the growth and development of a child. Additionally, parents may use music to bring joy to the family and create an atmosphere of celebration. Communicate In addition to the soothing power and tranquil environment music can provide, it is an excellent method for young children and teens to help experience and understand various emotions and feelings. Many people will go as far as stating that music is a type of sub-language to communicate with. Rhythms and tunes allow for emotional communication that you can share with another. However, it is essential to note that no two individuals are alike. What someone might find soothing and nostalgic, another may find sad and fearful. Music can be a great way to express these feelings and connect with our children and others, as long as we remember that each person will experience the same song differently. How Do Musical Sounds Make You Feel? Berkeley University has done some amazing studies and impressive investigative work on how certain tunes, musical notes, and harmonies evoke certain emotions. Curious? Check it out! Check out Berkeley's Interactive Music Map Now! Parenting and Music: DO! If your child wants to begin playing an instrument, singing, or joining school activities for this, we should always encourage it! Remember, music takes many forms: where it can be done alone or in a group, with instruments or without- and it can even include listening to music, moving to the music, and doing a little improv to whatever is on. Creation and Self-Expression Creating music is essential to self-expression and fosters creative thinking. Exploring and creating music builds self-esteem, problem-solving, and motivation, leading to character and individualism. Inspiring your children to explore their creative side and discover different music-making methods is a fantastic idea. Studies show that active music-making positively affects mental and emotional well-being, which helps our children overall. "Active music-making positively affects neurotransmitters, such as dopamine and serotonin, that influence mood." - Tallahassee Memorial Healthcare What If I Disapprove of the Music? Countless parents disapprove of the music their child or teen enjoys and listens to for various reasons. For example, some disagree with the artists' songs' profanity or wording/statements. Others disapprove of the sound of the music or the reputation of the genre of music or the artist. Whatever reason you may have concerning why your child should not listen to certain (or all) music, please strongly think about it and reconsider your standpoint. Parenting and Music: DON'T! ​ Whatever the reasons are, they are genuinely justified and well-founded; some types of music out there are hard to swallow, whether morally, socially, or ethically. Understand, though, that the feelings that music evokes and makes a person feel are your child's feelings, not yours. Yes, a message or language may be questionable (or flat-out ethically wrong!); however, a person's mind, mood, and body do not decipher the meanings of words in the same way that the body feels rhythm and beat- which can include somebody's voice. When the "message" is offensive, that is when good, solid parenting comes into play. Assuming your child was raised with a robust set of morals and beliefs, it is a reasonable assumption they will be just fine, and the concerning "message" in the song will fall by the wayside. In Conclusion If you and your children enjoy music- whether elevator music, birds chirping, or death metal, lean into it and do not try to shun it away. Remember, if it feels good, regardless of the message it may be delivering, listen on and allow your family belief system and morals to guide you past any sinister messages (then start exploring the genre for other artists that provide a positive message you can get behind!) Either way, music is a gateway to your deepest emotions. It gives you a control dial to manage your stress and anxiety. I genuinely hope Parenting and Music: Dos and Don'ts gives some insight into the power of music and how it can affect the mind, body, and soul. Remember, music can enhance parenting, but its impact will vary from person to person. For example, suppose certain sounds and rhythms make you feel differently than before hearing them. In that case, it has become critical for your ever-evolving and developing mental health and well-being. This is because your mind has discovered another avenue to explore or enhance a feeling. Whether you are a child or an adult, it is essential for all humans, including yours. Enjoy it? Spread the word and share it with the masses! Facebook X (Twitter) WhatsApp LinkedIn Pinterest Copy link And don't forget to voice your thoughts and share your feedback below! comments debug Comments Write a comment Write a comment Podziel się swoimi przemyśleniami Napisz komentarz jako pierwszy. Tour our Mashup Collection! Up Mashup Home Up Explore our Blog Vault Now! Up Our Library Up

Home Start Here! Blogs More Shop Podcasts More Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Find us on Social! >>> Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Delivering Authentic Meaningful Relationships with Your Teen by Being YOURSELF I introduce the shoe on the other foot in the second installment of Raising Teens Today & Personalities: The 2-way Street. Achieving an authentic and meaningful relationship with my teens is the crux of all I want to do as a parent, like all parents. Furthermore, I would like to be my (authentic) self with them, taking off the "dad hat" or lifting the brim so they can see within. I would love to let them see my raw personality, pure feelings, and sincere emotions without worry or ridicule. The good news is that this is EXACTLY what our teenage children desperately want and need! They deeply desire to understand our personalities, ticks, quirks, tendencies, and nuances just as we need to know theirs. Ensuring they know our personalities will enhance their ability to understand and make clear your expectations. Being honest about your true self will also add consistency to your decisions, disciplines, and rewards without even needing to try. This article will detail the benefits of allowing your natural, unfiltered personality to flourish and why doing this with your teenager is necessary. Jump to a Section : Raising Teens Today & Personality: The 2-way Street - PART II ► Intro (top of page) ► Recap ► Practice What You Preach ► Being Yourself ► Why Be So Open? ► Authenticity Amounts to Respect ► Next Level Relationships ► Authentic Truths ► Parent to Role Model ► Conclusion ► Comments Take a moment and SUBSCRIBE Never miss a blog post Stay informed Newsletters and web-happenings Chance for upcoming freebies & merch ​ ► BUT YOU HAVE TO BE A SUBSCRIBER! DON'T WORRY, IT'S FREE! ◄ Enter your email address Subscribe Thanks for subscribing! Written By DanielCurrie Published: September 4, 2023 Recap As discussed in the 1st part of our Raising Teens Today & Personalities article, while we continue guiding teenagers, we ultimately end up climbing a hierarchy pyramid, the bottom being the bare essentials every human should have a right to, and the top being realization & self-actualization, where your teen wants to be more and do more. Once we have achieved our parental duties and fully molded and guided our teens into incredible young adults, we can see their personalities more clearly. Moving back down that pyramid, we know what makes them tick, their quirks, and their nature without becoming overbearing and overly pushy or involved. ►​​​​ Miss the first article? Catch up and read it now! Raising Teens Today & Personalities: The 2-way S treet - PART I Raising Teens Today & Personalities: The 2-way Street - PART I Excellent! Our teens are raised exceptionally well, have superb morals and ethics, have a bright outlook on life, and are heading down the right path! So what else is there? As the saying goes: "You can show a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." This phrase means we can raise our teens to be more than capable of handling everything life throws at them and even understand their character deeply (show the horse to water). Only our teens can decide to respect us as adults and parents and understand and respond to our teachings (only the horse can choose to drink). Part two in this series will cover essential parenting dos to ensure your teenager will want to honor, respect, and do good by you—starting by understanding you. ►​​​​ Practice What You Preach The phrase, "Practice what you preach," has been around for a long time and for a very good reason: because it is TRUE! Luckily for us, it is super easy, and following that advice will make our teens want to honor, respect, and try to understand us as parents and adults. It's time for the teen to understand the parent's personality. To do this is simple. It is so simple that we do not need a fancy hierarchy pyramid, graph, or diagram. We need to be ourselves, that's it. Nothing more. Nothing less. ►​​​​ Being Yourself Act yourself; do not try to be someone you are not; do not try to put a 24-7 parenting facade on—your teenager will see right through it rather than seeing you , the genuine person they call [enter your name], filled with all the likes and dislikes, hobbies, pet-peeves, tendencies, ticks, quirks, and nuances. I'm confident your teen can see some of your personality and tastes, but can you honestly say they know all of you? If the answer is no, take time to loosen the grip, let down your guard, and let them see the real you. To be clear, I am not suggesting you should tell your teen all of your dirty secrets or shameful discretions if you have any; they aren't your spouse or significant other. They are your teen and are becoming very close to adulthood. It's time they see you as a parent only when you need to be and a close friend when they don't. ►​​​​ Why Be So Open? If your teenager only sees a parent who is there for them whenever they need, disciplines them when necessary, praises them for jobs well done and efforts made, with authentic, neverending love (if you do this, great job, really!), you may not be doing all that your teen needs . At this point, yes, that is all that we, as parents, are required to do, and if we do it well, we should be acing the parenting department, but teenagers and their perception of parents are more complex than that. Teenagers are looking for more than "Mom" or "Dad." They see everything I mentioned as a requirement so that they can call you such titles. They are craving realism . They want to see more than the stereotypical caring "Mom" or the stern, hardworking "Dad." They want , they long , to see [enter name], AKA YOU and your interests, hobbies, what makes you tick, and your quirks—especially since they know you know all of their ticks and quirks. When they begin to see your interworkings, they will start to respect you and your decisions even more as a parent because you show them a side of vulnerability and humility that doesn't come in the job description of mom or dad. ►​​​​ Authenticity Amounts to Respect Stating it one more time due to sheer importance: When guiding teenagers into adulthood, an essential parenting do (vs. don't) is to be yourself. They will feel much more respected if they know your emotions and actions are sincere. Just as you feel valued and respected, your teen will feel valued and respected when they see your genuine, raw, and authentic personality in action. It's a 2-way street. Your teen will start to see you from a different perspective, one they can understand and comprehend much easier. Perhaps they see you as one who can be humbled or endures humility, which tends to take away the perception of the "hotshot parent," a killjoy, or power-hungry. Either way, they will begin to know you are human, where mistakes happen. That, like them, you try your best yet receive consequences for poor decisions or actions, all while carrying the same emotions they do. Critically, this makes it much easier to understand and respect. ►​​​​ Next Level Relationships As your teen begins to peer further behind the curtain of the parent and into the person, your relationship will improve with them. You will always be father-son, mother-daughter, or whatever the circumstance, but now there is a sense of friendship there as well. You could start discussing how work was with them, but not like before. Instead of "Mommy babysat Joey today; it was a good day even though he didn't listen sometimes." the conversation takes more of an emotional, raw, informal, and authentic feel: "I had to babysit Joey today, he was such a pain in the ass, where he would not listen and I had to bribe him or threaten him all day just to get him to behave!" Having a conversation resembling the ladder shows passion, realism, and respect that you can talk with them about most things that otherwise would have been a strict parent vs. friend talk. Your human emotion and not refraining as much over general topics allows your teen to see that vulnerability, passion, and drive they may have never seen before. Furthermore, it will enable them to want to match that emotional enthusiasm and be just as open with you, drawing off your passion and honesty. ►​​​​ Authentic Truths As a parent to a teenager who can let their guard down and be willing to talk the lingo of your teen while giving them respect and staying true to yourself and them brings many benefits. As mentioned, relationships improve tremendously; you do not have to wear the parenting hat as much (after all, they are now teens whom you've parented for 13+ years now and know right from wrong with a good moral code), which will allow for your personality and nature to bloom more freely and easily. In turn, your teenager will also feel more comfortable letting their true personality shine as they mature. Therefore, it will be easier to read their body language, and less likely they will lie. Furthermore, they will significantly respect you and your honesty as you "let your hair down." They would feel more comfortable telling you about a bad situation rather than hiding it and trying to cover it up. ►​​​​ Parent to Role Model As your teen matures and sees you for who you are, parent and person, they will begin to appreciate you and all you have done for them. They will start to look back, whether it was an incident six weeks or six years ago, and reflect on the times you stuck your neck out or went to bat for them. They will continue to think about it, turn to you here a nd now, and see t hat you treat them like a young adult with age-appropriate rules. Then, realize they can come to you without the fear of being ridiculed, looked down upon, or belittled and, in their own way, really begin to grasp how lucky they are to have you. When your teenager starts thinking this, even if they only think it subconsciously, you have gone from being mom or dad to their role model. That is the ultimate unsaid compliment your teen could ever give you: when they look to you as a role model, looking up to you, knowing everything you have done for them and understanding it. ►​​​​ Conclusion When done correctly, your stress level as a parent should drop significantly. You will no longer be trying so hard, relationships will begin to cultivate, and your teen will see you in a new light while showing them that you are willing to treat them as a young adult while still governing them with age-appropriate rules. Perfect, right? Nope. You are still the parent. Your primary job is raising your teen, teaching them right from wrong, and disciplining them appropriately. Your teen will still fail and mess up, disappoint, and disobey; that is what they call growing up. Consider it a right of passage to adulthood. There will be disagreements, there will be heartache, there will be fights—this is what builds character in your relationship with your teen. It is vital that being a responsible parent comes before anything because only then will a good relationship with your teen be possible. Conversely, only a healthy, meaningful relationship will be possible if you put being a responsible parent first. No matter how you slice it, being a good parent is essential, first and foremost; only then can you build a good relationship based on you and your teenager's natural, unfiltered personalities. Your Opinion Matters! Leave a comment. Let us know what you think! comments debug Comments Write a comment Write a comment Share Your Thoughts Be the first to write a comment. ▲ Back to Top Home Start Here! Blogs More Shop Podcasts More Find us on Social! >>> CurlyStache Blogs: A division of CurlyStache, www.curlystache.com . | Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Copyright notice: All images on this page, including all pages within the https://www.curlystache.com domain, are fully licensed or created for the sole purpose of this website. For additional information, please contact us at admin@curlystache.com

Home Start Here! Blogs More Shop Podcasts More Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Find us on Social! >>> Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Raising Teens Today: Help Deciding the Proper Video Games For Their Age Screens are a HUGE part of society and our teens' daily lives , even if we wish it weren't the case. Nearly all people under the age of 20 end up in front of a screen multiple times a day , whether it's to socialize, listen to music, watch a video or a show— or even perhaps what has become one of the most popular options that encompasses socializing, entertainment, riddles, hanging out with friends, or even remaining anonymous : VIDEO GAMES . In this raising teens blog article, we will cover the pros and cons of video games and how to overcome any issues you may have involving them with essential parenting dos and don'ts to ensure you get the desired results! Jump to a Section : Raising Teens Today: Help Deciding the Proper Video Games For Their Age ► Intro (top of page) ► Types of Video Games ► Find Your Moral Video Game Compass ► V-A-S-E Chart ♦ Subscribe to CurlyStache Blogs ! ♦ ► ESRB vs. FRB ► Find Your Precise Umbrella └ What About Other Negativity Not Covered In My Precise Umbrella ? └ I Need TWO Precise Umbrellas ► Do Video Games Help or Hurt ? ► Emotional Impact ► Positive Gaming Impacts ► Conclusion ♦ Follow Us, Share, & Comment ♦ ► FREE Blank VASE Chart to print ! ► Comments Written By Dan Currie Published: August 7, 2023 Types of Video Games What could be described as a video game exactly? A video game is a form of objective or puzzle played on a screen against a computer or other players locally or online. Let's face it: we all love video games to some extent, whether it's Super Mario Brothers, Candy Crush, Madden, online Poker, Call of Duty, Soduku, or even Chess. Most games are entirely benign and fun, exactly what we think of when we say "games": a program played on a screen with an objective or puzzle experienced with others or alone. This article is NOT about the innocent games we've all learned to love throughout time but rather the morally unsettling ones . I Need Help Raising Teens Today & Video Games Where can I get some insight? Isn't "Video Games" such a broad term? I'm worried my tween thinks it's ok to hurt. Should I control everything? What qualifies as a video game? Read on for everything you need to know to make informed decisions ! Every family is different in their values, and that's OK! Some families are conservative and refrain from allowing any violent or explicit influence, including some sporting games such as "Undisputed" (boxing), only allowing for adventure, puzzle, and strategic games or online board games such as the popular "Monopoly Go." On the flip side, other families do not put merit on the impact of video games and the potential influence they may have on their impressionable teens. Find Your Moral Video Game Compass V-A-S-E Chart I O L E N C E B U S I V E E X U A L X P L I C I T That said, you need to ask yourself your family's stance and how intensely you feel video games impact your tween or teen's moral outlook. It is crucial to do this because it helps set base rules for your children and allows you to remain consistent when the time comes to approve (or deny) a new video game. The good idea is to create a V.A.S.E. (Violence, Abusive, Sexual, Explicit) Video Game chart , as shown below, to help you stay on track with your family's rules and values. As you can see in the VASE example, the parents immediately grayed out columns that are not allowed in the house based on their beliefs, so if a video game intersected, it was instantly banned. Likewise, the parents highlighted (oranged out) one column they would allow if they felt their child/teen was ready . To ensure the parents stayed on track and remained fair with their child's request to play the five games, they researched and checked off the boxes for which the game was known. This allows them to quickly identify the video game as a potential problem or not . FREE blank printable V.A.S.E. Sheet at the bottom! Enter your email address Subscribe Thanks for subscribing! Take a moment and SUBSCRIBE ! Never miss a blog post Stay informed Newsletters and web-happenings Chance for upcoming freebies & merch ​ ► BUT YOU HAVE TO BE A SUBSCRIBER! DON'T WORRY, IT'S FREE! ◄ ESRB vs. FRB ESRB is the corporation that rates all video games and stands for Entertainment Software Rating Board. They are the guys that stamp the big "E," "T," or "M" (or whatever!) on the games, so you know if it is age-appropriate. Their thought process and logic in rating games are sound but not concrete. ESRB knows what they are doing, but make sure you compare it to and trust the FRB . What is the FRB? FAMILY Rating Board. Every family is unique in their background and perspectives on life. One family may find a game they rated via their FRB a 10+, whereas their neighbors deem it unacceptable until their child reaches high school— ALL WHILE the ESRB rates that same game as "M" (mature, 17+). It is all the more reason to take time, fill out a VASE chart, add additional columns or notes if necessary, and thoroughly evaluate the video games. Most of all, once you have established what type of games with what content you allow (or deny), stick to it regardless of what the ESRB or other families say because it is your family, not the ESRB or others! image credit: ESRB Precise Umbrella Find Your Nowadays, if you try to shield your child or teen from every game with questionable influence, there would be very little to play— because everything is open to interpretation and can become twisted. The solution is NOT to watch them play the game, and the moment something violates the condition of allowing them to have the game (i.e., swearing), you tell them they cannot play anymore. Instead, ask yourself what is the number one subject above all others that you disapprove of and cannot tolerate under any circumstance. Have you got your answer? Good. Take that answer and let that be the first rule and primary reason for having or not having a video game. That cringe-worthy subject is your PRECISE UMBRELLA . It's a precise topic, or matter, that you cover over your home, like an umbrella, to ensure it does not get in. In other words, there is no way in hell you will allow that one topic to be on a screen in your home. Take your VASE chart and gray that section out like nobody's business, or add it to the VASE chart if it's not there, or note it if needed- whatever it takes to make it the golden rule for video games. For example, sexual assault and sexual abuse are the Precise Umbrellas in the CurlyStache household. If a game (video game or any other material) with sexual abuse or sexual assault makes its way into the home, there will be severe consequences of biblical proportions. Therefore, if my wife or I get asked or see a new game played in our house, we know we can count on each other to vet the game for sexual assault while our children know what to expect. What About Other Negativity Not Covered In My Precise Umbrella? Need some truth? Let everything else fall by the wayside. Take one letter from the VASE chart (or a 5th letter if it's not on there) and concentrate on that letter explicitly as your Precise Umbrella. Whether it is racism, sexual abuse, violence, explicit gestures or materials, swearing, or whatever causes you the most grief and heartache, concentrate on that. All the other negativity in a video game should not make or break being able to have or play the game. The reason for this is because you are a great parent! You've already taught them your family's viewpoints, beliefs, morals, and rights from wrongs. By the time they are asking to play [insert game], chances are they already know that all four letters in VASE are wrong, illegal, or immoral in real life; you are just going to take the one topic you find the most concerning and drive it home by telling them "Not even in a video game can I allow this." I Need TWO Precise Umbrellas As stated in the beginning, every family is different, making all families unique. Some families may feel very strongly about two letters in VASE (or an additional 5th letter) needing to be covered, whether it is because they have personal experiences with one matter or another, religion plays into it, behavioral issues, or any number of reasons. If you feel it is necessary to add a second Precise Umbrella, please do; only you know what's best for your family and teen . Nevertheless, I strongly recommend using as few Precise Umbrellas as possible to help mature them as they prepare for the real world— after all, this world can be ugly if you don't prepare for it. Lastly, the big question is: "Even though my teen wants to play video games, shouldn't they be outside like I was as a kid?" The answer is YES! That's optimal; let them get the fresh air, be social (in-person vs. virtual), play sports, and get involved with nature. Unfortunately, despite all that, screen time is still up there, so are video games good for your teen? The answer to that is also a resounding YES! Do Video Games Help or Hurt? Emotional Impact It is important to remember that even though we may disagree with some of the content in the games, it doesn't mean their brain processes that content in the way we see it . In a hypothetical game, for example, as a parent, we see their character picking up a gun, shooting another player, and getting awarded 50 points. This situation can be horrifying because it shows they were rewarded for killing someone. To flip things around, the child/teen is NOT thinking about using a gun and killing anybody. They are thinking objectively . They know the game's objective is to get from point A to point B with a man in the way. They are not thinking, "Oh yeah, awesome! Look at that GUN! I'm gonna pick it up, and YES! I can SHOOT somebody! I'm going to try it out now!" They know that per the game rules, the only thing that can defeat another player or man is the gun in front of them. The 50 points may seem like a reward to a concerned parent, but to a child/teen, the 50 points make it that much closer to an achievement or something they can get with the points. The result is that the gamer usually sees it as problem-solving, solving the equation instead of focusing on the objects used and what was done with it . The sad truth is, it just makes sense: Men block paths and are gatekeepers, and guns kill men, so that's what we see in video games. Positive Gaming Impacts Video games not only encourage problem-solving but offer an array of other valuable essentials in life. Hand and eye coordination significantly improve as your child or teen plays intensely. Along with doing two things at once and working together, their multitasking skills become exceptional the more they play. One of the best consequences of playing video games is the improved cognitive skills that the player develops. Conclusion There are many benefits to video games, whether it is Solitare or Final Fantasy XVI. It is up to you and your family to determine how beneficial each video game is based on your family's outlook and core belief system. Using the VASE chart and your Precise Umbrella, you can have a good foundation with essential parenting dos and don'ts when guiding teenagers today and video games. With this as your guide, your teens will be able to play the games they love, knowing there are certain lines they cannot cross while respecting your decisions regarding the approval of video games, knowing it's coming from an unmoving set of views. Please be sure to leave a comment in the posts! This helps many parents see YOUR perspective on the topic too! CurlyStache Raising Teens Blog is a safe place for everybody's opinion, so WE can all walk away with the best philosophies and practices when it comes to how we handle and raise our young loved ones. Like the article or think it could help somebody else? Please share it ! All pages include the Facebook , X Corp (formerly Twitter ), and Pinterest share icons. Follow us on social media for updates with the newest blog releases, website news, and a place to get amusing memes regularly , sure to get you through the day with a smile on your face! FREE blank printable VASE chart ! Your Opinion Matters! Leave a comment. Let us know what you think! comments debug Comments Write a comment Write a comment Share Your Thoughts Be the first to write a comment. ▲ Back to Top Home Start Here! Blogs More Shop Podcasts More Find us on Social! >>> CurlyStache Blogs: A division of CurlyStache, www.curlystache.com . | Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Copyright notice: All images on this page, including all pages within the https://www.curlystache.com domain, are fully licensed or created for the sole purpose of this website. 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Home Start Here! Blogs More Shop Podcasts More Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Find us on Social! >>> The Mashup: Short Raising Teens Blog Entries. Opinionated. Grounded in Facts. 001 - 10.02.23 Raffish Daughter I love my daughter to death, but damn, she can be a raffish one sometimes. Let's not get confused; I'm not saying ravish, which she can be that too when she wants to. Raffish, for those of you who do not entirely know, means "unconventional, in an attractive way" or "unconventional and slightly disreputable, especially in an attractive manner." It always starts the same, perhaps not doing a chore, like forgetting to take out the trash when it's her turn. I confront her about it, and she swiftly uses her charm and attacks my weaknesses, captivating me with the "daddy's girl" spell. As always, once she had it, without hesitation, the little 8th grader of 4-foot 9-inch smiled and insisted she did it, but it must have gotten filled up again. She gives me every reason to believe her—even though the evidence disproving her argument was blatantly in front of us. It's cute and comical. I should be mad and put my foot down, but I can't; she knows she did wrong because she's trying like hell to convince me otherwise. What is a father to do? Yep, that's my little raffish princess. How many other mothers and fathers out there have that problem? I'm willing to bet all of us see it occasionally. It's ok! And as long as it's minor stuff, such as forgetting to take out the garbage, those little raffish moments are equally good for parents and children. Stay with me here; I have some logic as to why these moments can be good. My daughter forgot to take out the trash. If I yelled or punished her every time she did not do a chore correctly or perfectly, it would only lead to my little girl dealing with constant self-esteem issues, belittling, or fearing the authoritarian parent —which I don't want her to endure, especially since I was raised in a home like that. Instead, we usually play the game of "not my fault," "figment of your imagination, Dad," or "it got messy again after I cleaned it," whatever. We both know that she's in the wrong and is trying to throw every attempt to get out of it at me, despite how futile sometimes. I'll usually play along unless it is a constant issue where she needs to learn from her mistake, in which case she knows pretty quickly when it's pointless to try. Regardless, though, in allowing her to win small little battles when it's clear and obvious that she messed up and with a "stern dad warning" at the end of the ordeal, my little girl will understand her mistake easier because she, in essence, is pointing out her own mistakes as she tries to talk her way out of it. This will lead to her learning with dignity and without having to tell her directly that she failed. Will she break a rule and not learn from her innocent dance? Of course. Will she take advantage of me, knowing I can be a sucker for the Daddy's Girl deal? Yes, she's already figured that out. It's okay, though. I don't mind doing the song and dance with her as long as I know she is learning and I stay consistent, allowing her to win the "less important" battles. That is the bottom line for this entry. Stay consistent and personable with your teen, see through the BS in their raffish personality, and pick and choose your battles; you and your teen will appreciate it (even if they don't say it!), knowing their attempts are at least being heard, no matter how ridiculous it may sound sometimes! Until next time! Date Monday, October 2, 2023 (Copy Again) Copy Link https://www.curlystache.com/mashup Episode 001 - "Raffish Daughter" ▲ Back to Top Home Start Here! Blogs More Shop Podcasts More Find us on Social! >>> CurlyStache Blogs: A division of CurlyStache, www.curlystache.com . | Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Copyright notice: All images on this page, including all pages within the https://www.curlystache.com domain, are fully licensed or created for the sole purpose of this website. For additional information, please contact us at admin@curlystache.com

Boundaries and Family: Navigating Close Relationships Confidently GT Bite-Size Blog: Episode 016 Written By : Daniel Currie Published On : 3 /28 /2024 Alright, let's break down this concept of "Boundaries and Family" so it's super clear and easy to grasp, even if you're just chilling after a long day of school or mellowing out after a long day in the office in front of your 70" finishing off March Madness. Relativity Rating: Everybody What's this? Understanding Boundaries: What's the Big Deal? Imagine boundaries like an invisible force field around you. They're all about making sure you're treated right and feel good in your family, whether that's with your mom, dad, brother, sister, kids—or anyone really. Angela Sitka is a well-known, prominent therapist in California who knows a thing or two in this field. She firmly states that boundaries are "like a promise you make to yourself to take care of your own needs while interacting in your relationships." You decide how you want to be treated, and if someone crosses the line, you're ready to stand up for yourself. Why You Gotta Have Them Boundaries aren't about being selfish; they're actually about taking care of your own vibe so you can enjoy time with your family without feeling all stressed out. They help everyone understand what's cool and what's not, making hanging out together way more fun and less of a drama fest. Setting Them Up Like a Pro Reflect First: Before you even chat with your family, take a minute to think about what makes you feel comfy and what doesn't. If thinking about certain family hangouts makes you sweat, that's a big hint you need some boundaries. Talk It Out: When you're ready, be clear and calm about what you need. Say something like, "Hey, when you make jokes about my hobbies, it can really burn me at times. I'd appreciate it if we could talk about something else." If Things Go South, Stay Cool: Sometimes, people might forget or ignore your boundaries, and that's tough. But remember, you can remind them gently or decide what to do next, like taking a break from the convo if it gets too intense. Looking After Number One Setting boundaries isn't just about dealing with other people; it's also about treating yourself right. It means not getting too caught up in how others react and remembering you're awesome, regardless of what they may say. It's a Two-Way Street Boundaries go both ways. If someone in your family sets their own boundaries, it's not just cool to appreciate; it's something admirable, respectable, and a really good show of character—like you and your set boundaries. It shows you care about each other's feelings and want the best for everyone. Keep It Going Remember, setting boundaries isn't a one-and-done deal. It's more like leveling up in a video game—or getting that much closer in your March Madness Bracket. You get better over time, and sometimes you need to adjust your strategy. It might feel like a lot at first, but it gets easier, and it's totally worth it for the peace of mind and better family vibes. Conclusion Setting boundaries with your family doesn't have to be a battlefield. It's about understanding and respect, making sure everyone's cool with how they're treated. Stick with it, and you'll see how it makes family time a whole lot better. Keep being awesome, and remember, your feelings are always valid! Until Next Time... Facebook X (Twitter) WhatsApp LinkedIn Pinterest Copy link Help us spread the word! Share this article across all your favorite platforms now!

Navigating Teen Gambling Problems: A Guide for Parents Written By : Daniel Currie Today, we're diving into a topic that's quietly making waves yet is as close to us as our smartphones: the increasing issue of teen gambling. In this digital age, our teens have the world at their fingertips, including the not-so-great parts like online betting. It's a reality we can't ignore, sparking some really important chats among us concerned folks. Let's navigate this together, exploring how we can keep our kids safe and sound in the online world. Published On : 4/1/2024 Table of Contents ►Why Teens Are the Greatest Risk for Gambling ►The Digital Gateway to Gambling ► Teen Gambling Problems: Increased Risk for Gamers ►Why Parents are the First Line of Defense ►The Real-World Consequences of Virtual Bets ►Engaging in Meaningful Conversations ►Proactive Measures for Prevention ►Your Homework: A Plan of Action ►Tools, Resources, and Support ►Continuing the Conversation ►Conclusion Blog Focus: Gambling & Addiction Read Time: 8 minutes Relativity Rating: Adolescence What's this? Why Teens Are the Greatest Risk for Gambling "Many online gambling options will seem familiar to teens," Sarah Clark , MPH of Michigan Medicine, said in a news release. "They feel like games kids have been playing on their phones, including features like bonus points and rewards. That familiarity may make it harder for teens to appreciate the difference between playing for fun and playing for money." The Digital Gateway to Gambling Smartphones and the internet have revolutionized gambling, transforming it from an adult-only pastime to a widespread temptation accessible on every smartphone and computer. Sarah Clark's insights highlight just how easily teens can find gambling opportunities online, stressing the need for us to tackle this issue head-on. In today's digital landscape, where gaming and gambling often intertwine, distinguishing between safe entertainment and risky behavior is increasingly challenging. This is particularly true for teens deeply immersed in the online world, notably gamers. Teen Gambling Problems: Increased Risk for Gamers Teens totally get that the real world doesn't roll like a video game, especially when sorting out right from wrong. But here's where it gets tricky: online gambling games, yep, they're pitched as just 'games,' start to look way too much like those chill, everyone-loves-them games—think Monopoly Go! or Candy Crush. It kinda blurs the moral lines, doesn't it? I mean, when's the last time you saw an online gambling site with the vibe of Call of Duty or Final Fantasy? Exactly, that's the hiccup; these sites are all dolled up with a 'rated E for Everybody' facade. It's a sneaky twist, making it super important for us to chat with our teens about spotting the difference and keeping those gaming adventures healthy and fun. Curious about how video games might be shaping the way our teens make decisions, especially with the blur between online gaming and gambling? Dive into one of our previous blogs for some eye-opening insights and tips. You won't want to miss it! "It doesn't mean their brain processes that content in the way we see it...the child/teen is NOT thinking about using a gun and killing anybody. They are thinking objectively...to a child/teen, the 50 points (they earned for a kill) make it that much closer to an achievement or something they can get with the points. The result is that the gamer usually sees it as problem-solving, solving the equation instead of focusing on the objects used and what was done with it." Daniel Currie, Guiding Teenagers Raising Teens Today: Help Deciding the Proper Video Game For Their Age Why Parents are the First Line of Defense ​ Given the tricky moral landscape that gambling companies are all too eager to navigate, it's up to us parents to step up and be the first line of defense. The fact that so few of us have chatted with our kids about online betting points to a big gap in our approach. With just a quarter of us touching on the topic of gambling, we might be underplaying how enticing and accessible online betting is to our savvy teens. They're digital natives, after all, adept at exploring, hiding, and diving into gambling activities with a finesse that can take us by surprise. This makes our role in staying informed and stepping in more crucial than ever. Let's bridge that gap, start those conversations, and empower ourselves to guide our teens through the digital world with care and wisdom. The Real-World Consequences of Virtual Bets Gambling isn't just a harmless hobby for teens—it's a road that can lead to addiction, financial woes, and a slew of other troubles. My own path as a parent has been eye-opening, revealing the hidden dangers lurking in teen gambling. When I stumbled upon my oldest kid's dabbling in online betting through DraftKings Daily Fantasy, it hit me hard. Despite his casual dismissal as dealing with just 'chump change,' the potential for a downward spiral was too clear, especially when losses piled up. It was a moment that called for action—no matter how challenging or uncomfortable those family chats might be. Furthermore, having stood by friends witnessing the harsh fallout of their son's gambling addiction has deepened my understanding and resolve. What began as innocent wagers escalated to the point of losing significant possessions—a harsh reminder that these aren't rare tales but part of a growing issue touching too many families. We're in this together, and by confronting the problem directly, we can aim to halt this epidemic in its tracks. Let's arm ourselves with knowledge, open the lines of communication, and take decisive steps to protect our loved ones from the risks of gambling. It's about turning tough conversations into foundations for a brighter, safer future. Engaging in Meaningful Conversations The cornerstone of tackling teen gambling effectively is rooted in open, heartfelt conversations. Take the time to sit down with your teen, gently sharing your concerns and what you know about the dangers of gambling. Remember, it's not about giving a lecture but about fostering a two-way dialogue—listening, understanding, and offering guidance. Bringing up stories like the ones shared earlier can help underline the serious consequences of gambling in a way that feels real. Showing empathy and unwavering support is crucial; even a hint of aggression could shut down the conversation. Keep in mind, this isn't a one-off chat but the beginning of an ongoing dialogue. For more resources and advice on navigating these discussions, don't hesitate to look for expert guides and educational material. Together, we can create a safe space for our teens to learn and grow. As seen on TikTok Many have asked about the Carhartt CurlyStache hoodie you've seen me wear. The traditional midweight hoodie, available in all colors, is available through Amazon Starting at $49.99 Shop for Mens Shop for Womens Own a custom CurlyStache Carhartt Hoodie Today! If you're in the market for a comfortable and durable hoodie, consider checking out the Carhartt CurlyStache hoodie. It's a great addition to anyone's wardrobe and comes with customizable options to meet your specific needs. Plus, with the Carhartt name behind it, you can trust that it's a quality product. Purchase the Carhartt CurlyStache Hoodie Customize your Carhartt CurlyStache Hoodie COMING SOON! Proactive Measures for Prevention Educate: Dive into learning together—get to know the signs of gambling addiction and how online betting sites can be sneakily enticing, often disguising gambling as harmless fun with the use of celebrities and various non-monetary rewards. Discuss these tactics openly to demystify their allure. Monitor: Embrace parental controls not as espionage but as a safeguard. Transparency is key; let your teen know about the controls and explain your reasoning. It's not that you don't trust them, but rather you're on the lookout for those who might exploit their enthusiasm. Promote Alternatives: Channel the thrill of the gamble into exhilarating, real-world adventures. The adrenaline rush of a win can be found in the healthy rush of reaching a mountain peak, swooshing down ski slopes, or laughing through the loops of a roller coaster. Together, explore hobbies that spark joy and excitement in safer, rewarding ways. Your Homework: A Plan of Action This Week's Family Project: Let's dive into a simple yet impactful activity with your teen. We're not talking about anything too complex or time-consuming—just a meaningful project to get everyone on the same wavelength: ​ Together, explore the online gambling landscape. Chat about the risks it poses. Craft a family plan for navigating the digital world safely. Plus, let's make a pact to keep the lines of communication wide open. Regular heart-to-hearts about what's happening online and decisions around money will now be part of our family's rhythm. It's all about staying connected and making smart, safe choices together. Tools, Resources, and Support The digital age brings not only challenges but also resources. Organizations like the National Council on Problem Gambling offer invaluable tools and helplines to support families navigating the complexities of teen gambling. Educating ourselves and our teens on these resources is a step towards empowerment. ​ To seek help, call 1-800-GAMBLER For immediate assistance, call or text 988 anywhere in the U.S. Together, we can navigate these waters, armed with the right resources and support. Continuing the Conversation: Diving into the challenges of teen gambling reminds us that we're in this together. Your stories, tactics, and wisdom are gold for the parenting community grappling with these very issues. If you feel moved to, please share your journey in the comments below. Your insight might just be the beacon of hope or the spark of an idea that someone else needs. Beyond sharing, here are some hands-on strategies to enrich your family's approach to navigating the complexities of gambling: ​ Spark Peer Conversations: Nudge your teen to chat about gambling and online betting with friends. Peer influence is a mighty force for fostering healthy habits. Dive into Real-Life Tales: Hunt down documentaries, articles, and books highlighting gambling's impacts. These narratives can kickstart meaningful discussions and serve as teachable moments. Boost Financial Savvy: Lay the groundwork for financial literacy early on. A solid understanding of managing money can demystify the allure of gambling as a quick cash fix. Enjoy Screen-Free Bonding: Carve out time for offline fun. Whether it's board games, sports, or exploring the great outdoors, shared experiences can satisfy the thrill of competition in a wholesome way. Reach Out for Expert Advice: Spot signs of trouble? Consulting with a professional can pave the way for effective intervention, helping your teen steer clear of or recover from gambling issues. Together, we can guide our teens through this maze, fostering resilience, wisdom, and healthy growth every step of the way. In Conclusion Our teens are growing up in a world vastly different from the one we navigated at their age. As parents, our role is to guide them through this world with wisdom, empathy, and proactive engagement. By addressing the issue of teen gambling head-on, we're not just protecting them from potential harm; we're equipping them with the tools to make informed, responsible choices in all aspects of their lives. Let's turn this challenge into an opportunity for open dialogue, strengthened family bonds, and empowered, aware teens. Together, we can face the digital age with confidence and hope. 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Raising Teens Today: Guiding Teenagers with Essential Parenting Dos and Don'ts Home Start Here! Blogs More Shop Podcasts More Find us on Social! >>> You are Here: CurlyStache | 3 Priceless Tools to Prevent Costly Lifechanging Mistakes Privacy Policy | Cookies Policy | Contact Us 3 Priceless Tools to Prevent Costly Lifechanging Mistakes EMPOWER YOU AND YOUR TEEN TO TRIUMPH OVER ABUSE & ONLINE SCAMS Unlock the untapped power with the basics Get ahead of the game with 3 ELEGANTLY SIMPLE solutions to become successful with online SECURITY AND SAFETY There are hundreds of threats today, not just in cyberspace but everywhere you turn. It is vital to ensure we keep the privacy and protection of our loved ones, particularly our children and teens. For today, though, we will concentrate on online threats, what to look for, and what to do to ensure we protect our loved ones the best we can. Written By Daniel Currie Published: October 16, 2023 Comment! Like the article or think it could help somebody else? Get the word out! Never miss a Blog Post! Enter your email address Subscribe Thanks for subscribing! Share it! Share your perspectives with others (Copy Again) Copy Link Share Blog https://www.curlystache.com/3-priceless-tools-to-prevent-costly-lifechanging-mistakes Follow us on Social! Daily memes to get you through the day Updates on blog releases Interactive, live events, polls, engaging Behind the scenes with CurlyStache Sign-up to be notified when new blogs drop today! INTRO This week's blog is a PSA for what we must do to protect ourselves regarding technology since the Internet, smartphones, computers, and tablets are undoubtedly an everyday use for our teens—whether it be for entertainment, communication, education, or work. Staying vigilant with your teens on simple security measures and talking with them could mean the difference between having their digital life ruined, emotions and state of mind uprooted and put in a tailspin, and being confident and mindful of the potential threat of prying eyes . #1 Rule to Embrace Like the Internet: 2-way Communication To begin, sitting down and talking with your teens is crucial. The younger, the better; if they use the Internet in any way, they need to know the potential dangers and how to stay sharp, watchful, and attentive to their surroundings. It is critical to ensure they are careful in what they do and the information they put on the Internet; being careless, oblivious, or even simply taking the power of the Internet for granted could be costly. Furthermore, stalkers and predators are a real threat, with absolutely no way to know if the person on the other end of the screen is who they say they are. It is vital to ensure your young teen understands that unless they know the person in "real life," they do not know them at all, regardless of the online relationship and its duration. Explain to your teen that "online only" friends have the potential to do harm. These are the stalkers and predators waiting patiently for their prey (AKA, potentially your teen). These people are perhaps the most camouflaged, discreet, and devious individuals for their craft as they search for the victim's weakness and exploit it; the worst part is that there is no way of knowing. Many stalkers and predators, despite wanting the desired outcome quickly, play the long game for weeks, months, and years to ultimately earn their victim's trust, making it much more important to stay sharp and diligent. In addition, go over scams and online shopping. There are millions of scams and two terrific ways to weed them out. The first is to confirm the purchase or offer. Verify that it comes from a reputable company or vendor like Amazon. At the very least, it should come from a reputable sales platform like eBay. Additionally, it should ALWAYS have the padlock icon, typically in the address bar, indicating that the site is secure. It is also a good sign when alternate, well-known payment options are accepted besides standard credit cards; PayPal is an excellent example of this. Secondly, and perhaps easier, if the item or service requires any type of payment, whether billed to your Apple account, your cellphone carrier, or ISP, or upfront via a credit card, simply have you, the parent, approve the purchase. It is highly recommended to do this because of the "read between the line" purchases . For example, your teen may find an ad for "FREE Ringtones!" and download it, not realizing there is an astronomical monthly fee associated with the download. Regardless, it then shows up on your credit card a month later. To assist with these situations, most devices, apps, and programs have preset settings allowing passwords or PINs to authorize purchases. In doing this, you are now ensuring that if anything happens, it is your responsibility, the mature adult, and not your teenager's. #2 Rule to Embrace Protect the Physical Stuff! After the "Cyber Talk," it is just as imperative to have all physical hands-on devices secured with a password, PIN, or pattern. Biometrics are a good option, although they can be spoofed or inaccurate sometimes; needless to say, my teen has been able to use facial recognition to get into my phone because our appearances are very similar in the right light. ​ Password (best) : 75+ characters to choose from. The more characters and symbols, the better. The more frequently changed, the better. It is complicated to hack and has no "guesswork"; it is either correct—or not. PIN (good) : 10 characters to choose from. The longer, the better. The more frequently changed, the better. It's easier to enter than passwords and is considered a good alternative. Pattern (fair) : Connecting Points, usually 9-16 points. The more complex the pattern, the more difficult it is to crack. It is easier to enter than passwords and PINs and is suitable for swiping on touchscreens. Biometrics (not 100% reliable) : Typically face or fingerprint recognition. It is easiest but not guaranteed, so the device requires a backup method. No protection (100% vulnerable) : If any accounts or apps are active on that device, depending on the account authorization, it could be as little as ruining your high score to as damaging as fraud and stealing identities. #3 Rule to Embrace Got Internet? Armor Up! Sure, we can ensure nobody can hack into our devices with compliments of an excellent password or PIN, but what about all the data and information stored on the device? That's the thing about the Internet: it is a 2-way street as long as the device is connected to the Internet, regardless of how (i.e., hard cable, WiFi, cellular, or Bluetooth). Not only can you access whatever your heart desires, such as this blog article, but virtually anyone with the right skillset can access your device with or without the screen being on and unlocked . There are 4 primary classifications of malicious programs that you and your teen should be familiar with and why being diligent in the Internet safety department is so paramount: Malware : If it is malicious in any aspect, it is classified as malicious software, AKA Malware. Generally speaking, anything not classified as spyware, virus, or trojan horses (although they are also a form of malware). Spyware : A type of malware where malicious software allows a third party to take information off your computer without your consent or knowledge. Examples of spyware (malicious software) include AntiVirus 360, UltimateCleaner, and Windows Police Pro. Virus : Another type of malware, a piece of software or code that enters a device's operating system disguised as a program or app or attaches itself to a program or app upon its download. Its sole purpose is manipulating it into actions that damage or impede its performance. Trojan Horse : Programs or apps that appear harmless or helpful to the user, such as utilities. Once installed, the trojan horse creator, AKA the hacker, inserts malware into the operating system to achieve the hacker's desired purpose. Regardless of which type, it usually starts with the user downloading the malicious tools needed for the attacker to take control or acquire the targeted data without even realizing they did it. These downloaded, malicious codes often come in free apps or programs or from an unsecured and/or untrusted download source. In the 2-way street, this is considered the first direction, or the download, where malicious programs, viruses, and hackers download their code into the device. Typically, when a counterfeit or sketchy app or program is downloaded without safeguards, the code or virus attaches to it and gets to work on the device or waits dormant for instructions from its creator.​ After the malware is downloaded, on the other side of the street is upload, where the malicious program, virus, or hacker will return the personal information they seek back up to their server or computer. Once that happens and the files return to the server or computer, the successful hack of your teen's personal and private data concludes . Virus protection and device software and firmware updates are imperative to stay ahead of the game and prevent the successful closed loop of data theft from happening. For instance, the updates you see on your phone are for security updates and maintaining the ​ most current security definitions. Think of it like an actual human virus; with vaccines and immunizations, the virus will begin to weaken but, in self-preservation, will mutate to survive and, if left unchecked, will begin to thrive again, making booster shots essential—and the same goes for cyber viruses. They frequently change appearance, looking more and more like legit code . When a new virus is found, the "legitimate programmers" update their programs and apps to ensure the new virus doesn't attack. Suppose the app, program, or even browser is not properly equipped with a bit of armor to avoid unwanted visitors—or you keep deciding not to update your phone or tablet. In that case, the potential is high for carnage to the device and to your personal and private data, which could lead to identity theft or worse . This is why protection on your devices is critical; it's like Internet password protection for your device! Conclusion No matter how you slice it, with the amount of technology we use daily, it is paramount to stay vigilant in keeping our privacy, well, private! You could literally save your teens' identity and emotional crises by ensuring they understand the importance and seriousness of the Internet. Even though the Internet is a place to educate, communicate, entertain, and get lost in its infinite possibilities, you and your teen will be just fine with a bit of understanding and protection. Read More Previous Blog Newest Mashup Is your teen lacking courage or confidence in social scenarios? Help them seize the moment and conquer obstacles with remarkable outcomes! 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