The Mashup:
Short Raising Teens Blog Entries. Opinionated. Grounded in Facts.

​The critical part of the definition is "through repetition." Like us adults, teens are flawed; they have it much worse when you stop and think about it, and we, as parents, tend to become more critical when they do not learn or do it correctly. I get it. Every parent is screaming in their head, "But I've told them over and over again! They just choose not to listen or obey me!" Bear in mind three factors that make it harder for teens to do it right the first time (than, say, adults), which are often overlooked or taken for granted:

• Teens are pushing their boundaries, seeing what they can get away with—testing the waters per se

• Hormones play a part (most of the time, in the heat of the moment, they don't realize it), causing their thought process, prejudice, and emotions to dictate their actions over reasoning and obedience.

• They are flat-out still learning and figuring things out; remember, as a parent, you have an advantage and already have an additional generation's worth of knowledge and wisdom. You don't question what is told like your teen does because you've learned or are old enough to know it is for the best—our teens aren't there yet.

 

Please note there are no excuses for teens not to do what they are told or whatever is asked. I never said it makes it impossible for teens to do it right the first time—only harder. The easiest way to help push along the learning process, or the learning curve, is to inculcate learning. Learn by repetition. In doing this, our teens will begin doing the essential things in life instinctively rather than consciously.

 

Introduce your philosophies, methods, and teachings in a habit-forming way, remaining consistent every day. In doing this over time, like muscle memory, their mind will begin to institutionalize and incorporate it whether they like it or not. Before you know it, much like a sleep pattern, their body and mind will start to adjust, and one day, you'll find yourself not inculcating them. On that day, they will just do it, and you will see it and not say anything even though you want to celebrate, throw a party, and (of course) praise and thank them for a job well done. Instead, you will just sit back and enjoy that well-deserved moment; every parent needs a 5-minute triumph break.

 

Damn, I just made that sound like even a 9-year-old could handle parenting with those step-by-step words of wisdom, wouldn't you say? Not even close. Far from it, achieving these goals takes significant time and effort. When inculcating teens, the effort you put into shaping your teen directly shows in the outcome. The harder you strive and work at it, the better the results. To be clear, this method is a process that takes time. It is like training for a marathon. After all, that is what you are doing, training your teen for the marathon of adulthood. I stand by it: if you keep at it, I guarantee you that you can inculcate your teen with any of life's lessons.