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The Mashup:
Short Raising Teens Blog Entries. Opinionated. Grounded in Facts.

003 - 10.20.23

Mollycoddle: The Epidemic

Controversial, you may agree or disagree, but authentic and true to form, the Mashup motto goes: "Opinionated. Grounded in Facts." Still, a real problem exists with children, teens, and even young adults and parents mollycoddling them. A handful of you may ask, "What the hell is 'mollycoddling'?" I don't blame you. I was one to Google it, too, when I first heard the word.

When Googling it, you will find the definition of (to) "treat (someone) in an indulgent or overprotective way." A handful of similar words include: coddle, spoil, overindulge, and pamper. This should give you a good feel for what I'm talking about.

Anyway, is it safe to say you know of at least a few children or teens like that, expecting tasks to be done for them, particularly the more difficult and demanding ones? Even emotional mollycoddling within reason, where their feelings could be challenged if it doesn't bring instant gratification? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but parents are responsible. Not the child or teen. You cannot blame anyone else besides the parent or guardian. They are the enablers. And yes, sometimes they don't even realize they are doing it- that's for a different discussion.

Mollycoddle-Medium.png

After the turn of the century in the United States, there has been a significant uptick in this behavior among children and teens. As parents, we must remember there is a fine line between wanting what's best for our teens and pampering, spoiling, or indulging. Understand that you are not doing them any favors by doing the hard things, physically or emotionally; it will only make it more challenging for them as they become more independent and are out on their own.

It makes it hard for your soon-to-be young adult teen to process challenging, problematic scenarios. Their knee-jerk reaction is to want Mom and Dad to come and fix it because that is what they are familiar with, how they were raised, and what makes them the most comfortable.

Suppose a parent goes overboard, mollycoddles, and overindulges them, saying the hell with it. Whether it's for selfish reasons like their kid is getting on their nerves or throwing a temper tantrum and just needs them to chill out a bit—or alternatively, the parent wants to do it as a form of setting them up for success because they can get it done quicker, ensuring their kid has the quickest and simplest path to success. In that case, they are doing them absolutely no favors except setting them up for failure.

Not to get it twisted, parents should always be there to HELP their children and teens in whatever capacity they require to grow and develop, but mollycoddling is not helping. Simply ensuring we are being there for our children and teens and supporting them in their needs is quintessential parenting.

The critical difference between being a great parent, being there, and supporting teens, compared to a parent who feels the need to mollycoddle, is knowing when to back off. Ask yourself: Can my child figure out how to do this themselves now that I've shown and helped them? -or- They are down on their luck, and time will heal all things with a bit of wisdom; am I preventing them from moving on by dwelling on it with them and trying to fix it, or am I fostering positivity and encouraging them to look to the future and the potential to come?

Parents must maintain vigilance, pushing and guiding teenagers towards independence while teaching positive, responsible choices for when the time comes—and mom and dad aren't there to help. When the training wheels are taken off, becoming young adults, those young adults must be ready—or face failure as a parent. Remember, when children and teens are mollycoddled, it becomes clear and evident as they grow older. Their maturity level will appear stunted because their parents have taken the bulk of the harder, more responsible choices off their shoulders throughout the years.

Whether it is mental or physical, there is no need to ever mollycoddle. It will only hinder your child's growth as they age, become a teenager, and as they continue becoming young adults. Being a parent is not easy; it's all about bending without breaking and knowing when too much of a good thing is too much. It is a subtle art where you will never reach perfection, but I promise if you keep striving, that will be more than enough, and you can sleep easy knowing you are doing it right!

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Until next time!

Friday, October 20, 2023

Episode

003 - "Mollycoddle: The Epidemic"

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Mashup

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Uncover 4 Superior Parenting Styles

Episode 002

Wednesday, October 11, 2023

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Episode 004

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What?

So, what exactly is the Mashup? Precisely as it sounds: a blend of online writing styles in a format ranging from storytelling and structured to opinionated to factual, formal to casual, and personal to professional—all while ensuring we keep true to the CurlyStache mission of guiding teenagers and raising teens today in a volatile society. The Mashup is designed to be more opinionated, grounded in facts, less researched, and directed to spark ideas and discussions.

When?

During the weeks I cannot get a blog out, I will fill that void with a Mashup entry. Remember to follow us on Facebook @CurlyStache Blogs and through all your favorite social media outlets to get notified of the newest releases! And be sure to share it with friends and families that could benefit! 

Why?

I enjoy writing and expressing my opinions on essential issues when raising teens today. There are times throughout the week when I cannot get to my computer as much as I would like—or cannot do my due diligence and research a blog to present it how I want it and still be backed by facts. This fills the void. Short articles containing whatever is on my mind grounded in current events relating to parenting and teen issues, writing in whatever style vibing at the time.

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